Surrogate of Zero
by Charles Bhepin
Summary: Being a documentary of the interactions of Shinjicus Ikaricus Ineptus, in Halkeginia, the natural habitat of the Tsundere. Narrated by Langley-Sohryu, Asuka, PhD.
1. Ch1: Beyond the Red Earth

Grim. Grim and dark.

There is another word for such a state.

And that word is... **_noir_**.

The wind is the sound of a radio turned to a dead frequency, its touch is like that of knife cutting through cheap salami. The sky is such a dull shade of red, it's nearly viscous. It's as if one can reach out and make a slurry out of the pale pink clouds that float in it. The feel of the ocean air is like dripping mucus. There is a beach, and at the edge of it, the waters licking at the hem of his black pants and shoeless ankles, is a boy. Let's say about fourteen years of age, ethnically Japanese but at this point, and the weirdness in his genetics, that no longer means anything. He lies face-up, seemingly sleeping.

The waters are red, not like blood, but the broken dreams of Communism.

"What."

Other than the steady roll of the waves, there is only a bleak and blissful silence. He is so used to the everpresent scent of rotting meat that his mind tunes it out. In the darkness behind his eyes, time ceases. But suddenly, he gasps-

He opens his eyes and flicks quick frantic looks from side to side. Having slept the peace of the dead but dreaming, he is shaken rudely out of his repose. Where is that strange voice coming from? Who could be breaking the silence within his graveyard of a world? He is dazed and confused.

"No, I'm not. Asuka, Who else can it be? It's not like I'm going to forget your voice."

He speaks to himself. There is no one around him. Isolation does strange things to people. Man is not an island.

Unless you're Ayanami, in which case you woman; you're a continent.

Ikari, Shinji, Child the Third, object under observation, groans and puts his arms over his face. The darkness behind his eyes is colder than the airless void. The warmth of his own flesh pressing against his eyes blooms stars.

"What is this now?" he moans. "Are you going to keep on narrating everything I do? I'm not doing anything."

It is easy to be all-knowing, he supposes, when there is only so much that might merit attention. He's very familiar with... Langley-Sohryu's boredom. She'd already judged him, and punished him, to both their satisfaction. Any more would just be redundant to his continued suffering. Hell, it is said, was other people. There is no heaven in solitude. Only silence. Only oblivion. Only pain.

For what is mere agony of the flesh? To a being such as him, for all his undeserved power, the torment of regret is suffering that could never be broken.

This is the natural environment of the _Shinjicus Ikaricus Inepticus_. Wallowing in pathetic self-pity.

He lifts his foreams off his face for a moment, looking as if he might offer protest. He doesn't.

"I'm sorry."

The boy's been saying sorry all through his life, but never had it done any good. It's a habit that he just can't break. When did being sorry make anything right? Being able to recognize one's own failures is first step to being forgiven. But in this bleak, barren world.. that still has trees for some reason but no functional animal ecosystem... there is no one who could absolve him of his sins. As a person, a man, a son, a father. There's nothing left. Only him.

"What do you expect me to do?" he cries out. "Instrumentality's doing fine. I can't.. won't... tear people out of the paradise they've made for themselves. They're safe there."

_Shinjicus Ineptu_s is also _Homo Apotheosis_, due to no real effort on his own part. It's just luck. Absurd luck.

But that's just how the universe trolls.

In this artificial habitat, the solitary Shinji only has his own senses to define his existence. The pain does not diminish. It is carefully cultured, watered by memory. He doesn't wish that he can forget. He is not allowed to forget.

"But this isn't a pain, Asuka, it's just annoying." he whines. "Eventually even you'd run out of something to say."

That deeply scares him, for though the voice brings back his pain, it is a delightful pain. Her presence makes his heart swell with happiness, but cut by the jagged reminder that she can never again be with him. It is not the first time that this had happened. There was a time when, though utterly alone, he tried to make his life purposeful. Interesting. Worthy of commentary. He tried to rebuild the world with his own two hands.

It ended in abject failure, of course, but at least the idiot tried.

No one returned. Instrumentality was something separate, but he was by accident its single relic, its guardian and vessel.

He can feel tears moistening his shirt sleeves. How long since Third Impact? Ten years? A hundred? A thousand? He moves his arm aside to look out across the beach, to the gargantuan corpse misty in the distance. Ayanami's empty red-eyed gaze stares back at him. The corpse, though rotting from within, would not visibly decay. As long as he had an awareness of it, the monument to Third Impact would persist.

Sometimes, he wishes that Lillith-Ayanami's corpse had landed face-up instead. Not only would this have saved him from that dead, condemning gaze and its mocking smile, he wonders what it would be like, if the artful curve of her country-sized breasts pointed up at the sky. He'd never bothered to go over there and change her position, because seeing her bloody insides would destroy the illusion. In the trauma of Third Impact, he'd called for Kaworu, and how would it have changed to have him embody Third Impact? There is a tightening in his pa-

"No. Just... no." Shinji groans. "All right, that's it. I'm ignoring you now."

But of course, that isn't so simple. He is a masochist at heart. If the Asuka in his mind ever wanted to cause him sweet pain, then he'd let her off without a safeword. All his life, he reflects, he'd been dominated by women. More regret, if only he'd been a little bit more courageous in his deviancy to ask them to dominate him a bit more openly.

"That's not true and you know- no. Still ignoring youuu...'

The problem with omniscience is that everything is true on some level, even the lies. In fact, by speaking lies they can become the truth. Right? Right.

"Nnngh." Shinji presses his palms to his ears.

Futile.

There is an old question: Can God create a rock so heavy that even He can't lift it? Simple. Of course, yes. All He had to do is to turn off His omnipotence for a while. After all, doing nothing is also part of being able to do everything. If Shinji really wants the narration to stop, it is dead simple to do so.

But of course, he wouldn't. He could never deny Asuka anything.

Even if she is starting to piss him off again.

He'd almost forgotten that she was really good at that.

Asuka. Asuka. Asukaaaa... nananananana Asukaaah!

There is no background jingle. Damn you Adam West. It turns off. It turns off right goddamn now. He can sense she is starting to get angry. If she could just take physical form, she would be kicking him for being boring and pathetic. For wasting every single opportunity granted to him. Not any more! If he screws this up, she would never forgive him!

"Asuka, it's my fault. It can't be made right. Forgiveness is..."

Like **Pow!** To the kisser. To the moon!

Ssh! Look! A wild portal appears! A pale-green glowing oval appears in mid-air, near his feet.

"Huh?"

Shinji pulls his head up slightly to look at it. He doesn't know what it is.

Fascinating. He tilts his head slightly to the side, puppy-like, in lieu of raising an eyebrow. It is a coruscating disk of green light. Somehow he knows that it came from the outside. It would be simple enough to re-assert his region of absolute territory and to trap himself in his misery forever. He could just imagine that Asuka's foot was stomping over his face again and again for even entertaining thoughts of such sheer idiocy.

It would take him far away. This thing before him fills him with such terror as he hadn't felt for so long.

He sits up and slowly begins to crawl away from it. Not because he fears harm or evil at the other end, but because it threatens his comfortable sense of suffering. A status quo that is, ultimately, a gratification of the ego. Alone, he could suffer in his demented self-importance.

Ayanami's corpse blinks. It is amazing how a single gesture might convey _'You're a moron if you don't take this chance.'_

From within the Well of Souls comes a cold, icy howl. It sounds suspiciously like _''get-out-of-here-you-stoopid-leetle-beetch.'_

Shinji palms his face. He is used to being hated.

But he feels he can't just leave. Much as certain... aspects... may now be wanting to set him on fire from the inside, it's.. not that easy? Not for him. Didn't they understand? This is his everything! His life, his love, his home. He couldn't just abandon their memory. It would be disrespectful.

His heart feels like exploding, as if there's a star about to nova inside, but he... Could. Endure. It.

He takes deep gasping breaths that he doesn't need, and shivers from a cold wind that can't harm him.

He doesn't think he deserves to be happy. Evangelion, somewhere out in the universe, his mother had thought it would prove that mankind existed. He laughs at that. What a pitiful memorial. His body, his unearned unholy power, keeping mankind's home pristine at the very moment they left it, that was a much more fitting monument. Even as the sun cools, even as the stars wink out. Against any fool who might try to claim this world as their own. It is his body. The oceans are his blood, its continents are his flesh.

So what's Ayanami's corpse then? Your-... his dutch wife?

He just sighs, feeling so cold and weak. He kneels down to pick up a handful of sand. These grains were soaked with his anguish when he lost the last of his family. He refuses to escape even his last, pathetic responsibility. He would not run away again. He'd made sure, short of crippling himself, that he could never run away again.

Loneliness does strange things to a man. A human with no one else to interact with, starts to talk to himself just to hear the sound of a human voice. Without companionship with other humans, someone can forget what it means to be human. Without the voice, without the use of reason, without the community, a human regresses back into the crude animal that he is.

Being lonely is so terrible that even he must cling to this last remnant of being a part of something greater. In this pathetic way he can be alone and still vaguely feel a part of human society.

But a being such as him has no free will! To say that he chooses to become a caretaker? What a joke!

He is a pathetic shriveling worm. Mankind would be ashamed to be remembered by such a thing,

Shinji grits his teeth. He has no pride left. He would not be moved by fear, or hatred, or promises, or ambition. He who has nothing left needed nothing more.

But there is something else, a voice, so innocent and in need.

There!

It's far away but it's real.

Begging.

For him.

Such a useless thing such as a him. A thing that can only destroy. A failure as a human being.

But-

Only for him. He is needed. This is important. The dead need nothing.

He has to listen!

Other worlds.

Living worlds.

_"I beg of you-! My slave who lives somewhere in the cosmos!"_

A slave? No, wait, that doesn't sound good. Although... given what is recorded about Shinjicus Ineptus' fetishes, is understandable too. We must observe. For science.

He isn't hearing anything.

He's shut everything out.

He's asking a question only he can answer.

There is a spirit within him that never got the chance to become light. He opens his hand and looks at his fingers, the tips twitching slightly, as if he is handling an impossibly fragile, impossibly precious thing. Sand dribbles down, each grain a missed moment.

What sort of world is this to raise a child?

The pain of regret. If only... there was someone he could share such discovery with, to show the world and all its wonders. The world itself would renew under unjaded attention. A mind, new and ever-curious, shaping itself. He had chained himself to the memory of the departed generations, but what is he doing for the last, shining child of man? Is her memory not as precious?

That he could feel regret at all is at least a sign that he is not a psychopath. He is weak, this he recognizes, but he is at least sure he is not his father. There is evil in mankind, but his sin is stupidity. Too late had he come to realize that the ones he loved meant more than anything.

It's so painful to be alone. He started off as just a kid, without any training, thrown into a war zone. Then, over the course of a year, he had to watch every single person he's ever managed to care about die in front of him. Every adult around him was useless! Every single time he tried to be a hero, it seems the universe punishes such effrontery. Dammit, that it took that long for him to break is the surprise. That he's the only one that manages to survive it all is the most bitter of ironies.

Everything that he touches dies.

He looks up towards a pair of small graves. He shambles over and begins to dig at the ground with his bare hands.

Genocide. Everybody dies. Extinction. The end of history. If his fractured mind could actually perceive and accept what that really means, the winds would never stop echoing his screaming.

It is easy to achieve a state of zen, of disassociation, of non-self. The line between a grandmaster and a slave was often quite thin at times. His fingers are cut and scraped as he savagely attacks the ground, but no pain reaches his brain. Soon enough he has uncovered three meters deep of soil. Carefully, he reveals a skeleton clad in a worn red bodysuit, lying on its side. Tattered string of red hair still remain. It cradles a smaller skeleton, little more than a hand in size. Shinji began to shake uncontrollably. Slowly, he reaches out, towards the remains of a child that never had a chance.

His shoulders ache, like poisoned claws are tearing his back open. The weight of that tiny skull is immeasurable.

Carrying it would be a far greater burden than anything he'd ever done before.

Possibilities churn inside his head, multiple lifetimes lived and discarded in an instant. The voices of billions, hundreds of billions, weigh in. He sits, silent, lost in the terror of a new day.

He is the last of humankind, and the last Angel. His is the unused stolen potential.

He however may not spend an eternity trying to decide. The chance flees. The perception of time may only be delayed for so long. He has to decide!

He was a child then, he's still a child now. He never had the chance to mature, and he never will in this damned "wonderland". The deck is rigged, but it's the only game in town.

He puts the skull to his chest, just below his ribcage, and pushes in.

It sinks into his flesh, and his blood begins to drain into it. Tendrils reach out, clutching and entwining with his nervous system.

The pain is excruciating, but ultimately all too brief.

A small blood-red sphere, a core of hope, now is part of his essence. New memories, new feelings; he feels as if an observer in his own skin. There is more than just the old feeling of being watched. He feels a strange gnawing hunger. He bares his teeth, his incisors lengthening slightly. He cannot live for himself, but in some small part perhaps he could pretend to do so for someone else, living their life for them.

The turbulence in the Well of Souls subsides.

Shinji closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He would carry his obligation, and his family, wherever he may be forced to go. He can dimly discern from a distance, that Asuka is both a disgusted and a little bit touched. He is off to explore new worlds, new civilizations, carrying her grinning skull under his arm. It's not like he'd ever managed to give her a proper honeymoon.

Ayanami is jealous.

News at six.

.

**Surrogate of Zero**

ch1

.

.

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Helkegenia.

There lived a pink-haired girl named Louise Francoise de Valliere. She stood proud and tall, despite her undeveloped stature, as she cast the spell that would prove she was a mage worthy of respect. She waved her wand and made the chant. A glowing pentagon appeared on the ground.

Which then exploded.

Now. She stands wobbly on her feet, her brain feeling like swamp water.

She wants to cry, and shout, and throw a tantrum like a little child. Again with the explosions. Always with the explosions. Every single spell, ending in failure. Her knees fail her, and she collapses, drained of willpower. It was over. Her mother would never forgive her. How could such a useless daughter have come from Karin the Heavy Wind's womb? Already she can hear her classmates begin to jeer -

There is a faint whump; from something, or someone, falling and landing on his face like a dumbass. There is a weak "Owww..."

Suddenly, the taunting stops. Their pitiless amusement turns into confused murmurs. Louise looks up to see that as the smoke clears over the ruined summoning circle, there is someone there. A person, clutching something white and round under his left arm, and trying to push off the ground with his right. Slowly, shakily, he rises.

He looks as confused as she is. Louise had prayed for anything to appear in her summoning circle, to prove her existence as a mage, but certainly did not expect a lanky young teenager dressed in a plain white shirt over loose black pants. In return, what he is seeing is someone who doesn't seem out of her teenage years yet, with wide curious eyes and long wavy pink hair. Underneath a black cloak with a round brass pin etched with a pentagram, she wears a white blouse and a gray pleated skirt.

They are a strange pair, motionless there in a pose half-kneeling. They are nearly the same height, but couldn't be more unlike each other. And yet, on some level communicated by their eyes, they feel a connection, a strange sympathy. There is a spark leaping in the air between them, which a more ignorant mind might think is the tingle of love at first sight.

Louise leans forward and looks at his face more closely. He flinches back. The strange boy has an otherwise nondescript face, but with slanting eyes that she had never seen before. A foreigner, certainly. As the other students realize what they were seeing, the mocking laughter returns.

The boy looks left, then right, then up. He blinks owlishly as his deprived senses tries to readjust. The feel of the warm sun upon his skin, the rustle of wind through trees, and the beauty of life all around him is intense, even painful. He takes a deep breath.

Louise frowns. "Who are you?" And then "Gyah!" as she came face to face with a human skull as the boy stands straight up and adjusts his clutch of his eerie trinket. She leaps back, her wand held straight out.

"I don't think you can keep on trying to describe everything in present tense." the newcomer says offhand, to no one in particular.

Louise blinks, but not lowering her wand. "... huh?"

It is common fact that no event can be perceived at the very instant it appears. There is always some delay before it may enter the sensory apparatus of the observer. Only omniscience may allow such perception, but perfect knowledge of an object undergoing an event is to be the said object. All knowledge must be imperfect, for there to be division between beings. Also, because Shinji Ikari only has the illusion of experiencing things in realtime. Everyone else gets to pause and review and send in their commentary.

This is known as limited third person.

Shinji Ikari had better be grateful he can't hear the useless advice the others are saying.

"Oh, right. Still ignoring you."

"Don't ignore me!" shrieks Louise. "How dare you!"

"A commoner!" someone one is shouting with malicious glee. "Louise summoned a crazy commoner!"

The boy blinks, the confusion in his eyes beginning to clear. "Who are you?" Louise asks again, louder, and waving her wand near his face.

A dark cloud passes overhead, a chill draft slides across the courtyard, and he answers. "Um. Hello? I mean... um, I'm Ikari Shinji." Sensing that he wasn't being helpful, he adds. "Shinji being my first name, Ikari being my last name."

"Hmf. Weird name. And where are you from, commoner?"

Shinji blinks. "Commoner?" He winces and clutches at his head. It's so weird to hear real sounds again.

Looking around, he sees others dressed in the same style as the girl disturbingly close to him. Any other person in the same planet was disturbing. So many people. He begins to quiver. He can feel the light of their souls, and finds through contrast that he didn't even have one anymore. His essence is just a big metaphysical void, where nothing other than itself is allowed to exist. Okay, fine, technically that's what a soul IS, the AT-field pattern that contains and preserves identity, but it lacks that unique quality that allows us to call something a 'living soul'. He compresses his awareness, his being, and forces himself to think of something else.

"What do you mean, I'm a commoner?"

"Can you do magic? You don't look wealthy, your clothes are too bland. So, you're a commoner." Louise replies with bland resignation. "I couldn't have summoned a noble, it doesn't work like that."

Her mind even recoils from the concept. The enhanced abilities and intellect of a familiar comes from the mage, thus why familiars are treated more than pets but as an extension of its master. Magic to her culture is the gift from God, the justification for nobility; for a noble to enslave another noble through the familiar summoning rite, would be a blasphemy of the highest order. Therefore, she easily concludes, it is impossible.

A crowd of black-clad people are standing around examining Shinji Ikari. They are garbed much the same way as Louise, maybe it is a uniform of some sort? Out in the distance is a large stone castle, distinctly European with its round turrets and crenelations. There are also animals and beasts standing behind the humans, and some of them he can only tentatively call 'monsters'. They don't seem hostile though. There is more understanding in those feral eyes than the glittering haughtiness in the students.  
_  
'This place... it isn't heaven or hell, but it could be either.'_ Shinji thought, while shading his eyes from the sun with his palms. _'It's too bright. It burns.' _

On the outside, it looks like he is cowering. "Louise, what were you thinking, calling a commoner with 'Summon Servant'?" someone asks, and everyone but one starts to laugh. That someone has short cheek-length blue hair, more intent on her book, whom Shinji is fortunate not to have noticed, otherwise he'd be screaming right now.

"I... I just made a little mistake!" the girl in front of Shinji shouts in a very insistent voice, melodious like a bell to his ears for its earnest embarrassment. "What mistake are you talking about? Nothing unusual happened."

"Nothing unusual she says! Of course! After all, she's Louise the Zero!" someone else said, and the crowd burst into laughter again.

_'So her name is Louise.' _Shinji ponders. Of course, he knows that already if he's lying about being able to ignore the narration, but he doesn't exactly trust the narrator. He is sure the transcript would feed him no end of bad information if it would lead up to something hilarious and humiliating.

Whatever place he's in, it's far too warm and comfortable, like a fantasy. As if the typical medievalist trapping aren't enough of a hint. It is repulsive to him. He wants to dig into the ground, and let cold silence embrace him again. Being scrutinized by a semi-hostile audience is nothing to him, and it is the girl who seemed to be the focus of this emotional torment. She is being bullied in front of him, and the boy just doesn't know what to feel about that.

"Mr. Colbert!" the pink-haired girl shouts desperately.

The crowd parts, revealing a balding middle-aged man garbed in a long black robe and carrying a gnarled wooden staff. He looked ridiculous, but something else is starting to intrude upon Shinji's senses. It is like an itching at the back of his head, an insistent presence, like a crab trying to make a burrow out of his hair. It is coming from the people around him, bouncing off as a bat's echo, and the man has a much stronger presence. He wonders if this meant the force of personality. It is a very distinct feeling, completely unlike that of an AT-field.

A surreptitiously cast Detect Magic spell slides off him, without his knowledge. He doesn't even feel the slightest prickling.

He still doesn't understand, but a bit of curiosity makes him decide to stay quiet and let the scenario play out. The girl named Louise seems to be in a panic, begging to redo something and gesticulating frantically. He feels somewhat sorry for her, recognizing how mortifying it was to be put on the spot.

"What is it that you want from me, Miss Vallière?" asked the robed man in a weary tone, knowing exactly just what it is that was being required of him.

"Please! Let me try the summoning one more time!"

_'Summoning? They mentioned it earlier.' _

Mr. Colbert, the man wearing the black robe, shakes his bald, bald head. Your helpful guide just cannot articulate its shiny baldness anymore, other than the wisps of hair remaining around his shiny head-dome just pathetically brings even more attention to its sheer... holy crap, this guy is bald.

"I cannot allow that, Miss Vallière."

"Why not?"

"It is strictly forbidden. When you are promoted to a second year student, you must summon a familiar, which is what you just did."

_'A familiar? What's that?' _Shinji blinks._ 'Hey. This isn't Japanese they're speaking.'_ Then both figuratively and literally, he shrugs it off. Being able to understand any and all languages every spoken, sung, or written by a human being was an unexpected but not surprising sudden gift. He could at least be grateful for not having to rely on subtitles. Jerk._ 'Familiar. Hmm. Something that's been encountered before? Something common or easily recognized?'_

That's an _adjective_. A familiar, as a _noun_, is demon or other supernatural entity that assists a witch or practitioner of magic, usually taking the form of a small animal. They add bonuses to a caster's abilities and may have special powers. Familiars gain additional abilities as their master gains in levels. They usually require a day to prepare for the summon and 100 GP worth of materials.

Shinji Ikari makes a pained moan.

"Your elemental specialty is decided by the familiar that you summon." Colbert, apparently a teacher, continues. "It reveals your element and serves to ground your magic. You cannot change the familiar once you have summoned it, because the Springtime Familiar Summoning is a sacred rite. Whether you like it or not, you have no choice but to take him."

"But... I've never heard of having a commoner as a familiar!"

Everyone around hoots with hilarity. Louise scowls at them, but the laughter doesn't stop. She keeps herself from saying or doing anything more. If anything, seeing her so angry would only fuel their amusement. Shinji knows that apathy took all the fun out of it. That girl is so open with her emotions, that even in his reduced state Shinji feels it would be a shame to break her spirit.

_'How long has it been?' _A few minutes, and the signs are already clear. Not even he could possibly fail to grasp such a blatant display. Peer pressure is such a trifling pain, but it's not too different from how he had been broken.

That train of thought is digging up things best left buried, though. He forces his brain back into the present with _'Springtime Familiar Summoning? How would that bring me here?' _It is clear that wherever he's now, he'd not been moved here by his own power or volition. However, anything that could rip him loose from the death of everything could only be pretty damn powerful.

He doesn't have much self-respect, but he is certain he is worth more than just 100 GP!

He's actually taking that seriously. What a liar. Being talked about, what ego could resist paying attention to that?

"Ngh. Okay. From now on… seriously." Shinji whispers. "Not listening."

"This is a tradition, Miss Vallière. I cannot allow any exceptions; he," the middle-aged wizard points at Shinji, "may be a commoner, but as long as he was summoned by you, he must be your familiar. Never in... recorded... history has a human been summoned as a familiar, but the Springtime Familiar Summoning takes precedence over every rule. In other words, there is no other way around it: he must become your familiar."

"You have got to be joking..." Louise droops in disappointment.

_'You have got to be joking.' _Shinji moans some more, his sleepy face not betraying his internal turmoil._ 'You seriously can't expect me to believe... her? This is all just an accident?' _

On one hand, it means that fate or some arbitrary power was still more powerful than beings that could weave a new pattern into the fabric of the universe. Something more powerful than him. On the other hand, it means that he is, once again, its buttmonkey. On the gripping hand, his protective shell of apathy is starting to crack! He starts to raise a hand. "Um, excuse me..."

He is ignored. He waves his hands, to no avail. His needs and opinions are unimportant.

"Well then, continue with the ceremony."

"With him?"

"Yes, with him." Mr. Colbert replies with an exasperated sigh. "Hurry. The next class will begin any minute. How much more time is this summoning going to take? After mistake upon mistake, you have finally managed to summon him. Hurry and form a contract." Everyone else begins to make noises for Louise to hurry up.

Louse stares at his face, clearly troubled.

"Aaah..." Shinji tries to ask _'excuse me, but what the hell?'_

"Hey," Louise turns around, in a brisk military manner and addresses him, her chin up in the air.

"... yes?"

"You should count yourself lucky. Normally you'd go your whole life without a noble doing this to you."  
_  
'Noble?'_Shinji blinks again. He was born middle-class, and egalitarian to the end. A part of him took dark amusement in that death must come to all people, rich or poor, weak and the mighty. His life is... was... even a testament to the abuse of power.

Louise closes her eyes with an air of resignation. She waves around the wooden stick in her hand.

"My name is Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière. Pentagon of the Five Elemental Powers; bless this humble being, and make him my familiar." She chants those words over and over, clearly a magic spell what with the glowing motes of light forming around them both, and touches Shinji's forehead with the stick. She licks her lips and leans closer.

"Wa-what are you doing?"

"Hold still!"

He struggles. His face twists in panic. All of this is opening up a whole lost of repressed trauma.

"Ah, geez! I told you to stay still!" Louise grabs Shinji's face roughly with both hands. Exactly like what he had experienced before. Aheh. Yeah... that whole 'do you want to kiss me' trick that Asuka Langley-Sohryu pulled. Oops? As their faces draw closer fear hammers into the Shinji's chest. Guilt. Intimacy is terror. To care is to hurt!

She kisses him, just a touch, but she blushes as she pulls away. The boy looks at her with unmistakable sheer horror. She frowns at that.

"Hey! A commoner like you should feel grateful that I even dared to go that far. If it wasn't so necessary, I'd... bah!" She gets up and flicks at her long flowing hair. "You're my familiar now, understand?"

Shinji is still trying to recover from a panic attack. He wheezes, clutching at his chest. "Not really, no."

"You have failed 'Summon Servant' many times, but you have managed to succeed with 'Contract Servant' in one try," Colbert says happily.

"It's just because he's only a commoner." says someone from the crowd.

"If he was a powerful magical beast, she wouldn't have been able to make a contract." Some of the students sycophantically laughed.

Louise scowls at them. "Don't make fun of me! Even I do things right once in a while!"

"Truly 'once in a while', Louise the Zero," sneers back a girl with gorgeous curly hair and freckles on her face.

_'Servant.' _The word echoes in Shinji's mind. _'Fine. I deserve this much.' _It's not like it's something outside his meager set of skills. He has no pride that would be wounded from just something like that. A social contract that has him under someone's power, now that is something he could deal with.

He, who has no ambitions, no dreams for the future, ended up being the one last free man. He needs, desperately, the structure offered by being ordered around. Clearly, he supposes, he could not be trusted with any authority, any power, ever.

This is good. He feel a slight smile starting to appear on his face. This is very good.

Heck, if he plays his cards right, he might even be subject to physical abuse. Lucky!

Shinji loses his smile abruptly.

"Um. Excuse me? This is a bad idea. A really bad idea. Can we just- ah!" Pain! He clutches at his arm. Burning green marks glow out from the back of his left hand. "Rrrrghh...!"

Had her familiar been ruder or more outspoken, Louise would have dismissed any discomfort he felt. "Don't worry, it's just the Familiar's Runes being inscribed." Her impatience is tinged with some concern. "It should be over quickly."

It burns, so much that Shinji wants to roll around in pain like a worm on damp soil. Shinji sucks at the back of his hand, as if trying to drain a snakebite. Green light streams out from under his fingers, and he smells a tang of ozone. The pain is just about unbearable, but after a few more seconds, it fades. Even the memory of it recedes. Shinji stands up straight and looks at the brand-new tattoo at the back of his hand.

"Huh." That was weird, even for him. He turns to Louise and shows her the markings. "What does this do?"

Mr. Colbert approaches and grabs at the hand. "That was quick. Hmm... these are some very unusual runes."

Shinji stares at the back of his hand. He felt as if he'd been branded, like a cow ready for the slaughter. He feel some indignation rise, but not for himself. His right hand goes over to his chest, to rub the red marble under his shirt. He is, of course, still holding on to a human skull by the jawbone. Mr, Colbert grimaces, having forgotten about that, and lets go of Shinji's hand.

"Is this permanent, sir?"

The teacher nods. "Sadly, yes. But don't worry too much, young man. It's not all bad." He opens his mouth to ask, _'Why are you doing with a human skull?_', then reconsiders. No, perhaps it is better to pretend everything's just routine. He turns back to the gathered crowd. "Well, that's it. Back to class everyone."

That said, he turns on his heel and floats upward. The rest of the students likewise rise into the air. Shinji watches them go, still gingerly rubbing at the back of his hand. Some of the departing students left parting taunts about Louise not even managing levitation. Shinji turns to see the pink-haired girl quivering, with rage or just about to cry, he doesn't know.

He sighs. "I'm not much good at this." he mutters.

Left by themselves in the courtyard, Louise looks up at her summon and churlishly asks "What are you?"

Shinji smiles weakly. "Um... a human?"

"Yes, well... what sort of human? What can you do? Do you have any special powers? Who are you, really?"

Shinji hesitates here. "I... don't know. I'm no one special really." Ahahahaha. Idiot. This is going to come back and bite you in the ass. Idiot.

Louise throws her hands into the air. "Whyy? I wanted to have something wicked like a dragon or a griffin or a manticore. At least an eagle or an owl. Why does my familiar have to be so useless?"

"Um... sorry, but what does being a familiar mean? I was... somewhere else, and now I'm here, so why?"

Louise turned and gives him a flat look. "At least you're not that dense. Aren't you at all concerned about being spirited away?"

Shinji shrugs. "There wasn't really anything left for me back... over there. So, how did you do it? And, um, why me?"

"It wasn't supposed to be you! It's supposed to be ANYTHING but you!"

"Um, okay, so this sort of thing isn't the usual then?"

"I've never heard of anyone else summoning a commoner as a familiar. Animal familiars get special abilities or add to the talent of their masters, but you don't even have any magic! How's that supposed to help me?" She groans and palms her face. "An animal familiar would also have been easier to carry, to deal with. I only have to worry about feeding it!" Louise, due to her middle sister's animal-loving influence, was at least good with getting along with dumb animals.

_'So it isn't deliberate human slavery, at least.' T_hen again, that teacher didn't even hesitate. He insisted that his student strip a human being of his freedom and live as an accessory to a mage. Already Shinji is getting a lot of unpleasant implications about the society he was trapped in, but to be honest- he really doesn't give much of a damn about justice either.

"Can't you just try again?" he asks, trying to make sense of the mechanics of it all.

"No! The contract has been confirmed! The Summoning is a sacred rite for mages. The only way for me to get a new familiar is if my old familiar is destroyed." She squints beadily at him. "And I know you don't want that."

Shinji raises his hands in surrender, which caused Louise to flinch back and avoid being randomly smacked in the face by the back of a skull. "So. Magic, huh?"

Yes. Either this is magic or some very in-depth and very perverted cosplay.

He looks around at the lavish, sculpted grounds reminiscent of medieval paintings. "This is something of a school, then?"

"All right, I don't know what backwoods you came from, but it's fine. I will explain it to you." Louise gestures around. "This is Tristain! Glorious Tristania! And this is the renowned Tristain Academy of Magic!" She pointed to herself. "I'm a second year student, Louise de La Vallière. I am your master from now on. Remember that!"

Shinji raises his hand. "Valiey-ru.. veli... Miss Louise, a question?" No -sama, -dono, -san, or whatever other suffixes for you! Everything gets romanized. Damn kanji. Stupid damn rassem frassem honorifics. None of that shit here. I won't allow it!

"Go ahead."

"Okay, I'll accept that this is a magic school." There is no rule that said the afterlife or his purgatory or whatever new hellish reality was pulled into had to make any sort of sense, as far as he is aware. "But, second year? How old are you?"

Louise sputters out "How- how rude! But I'll have you know that I, Louise de la Vallière, am seventeen years of age."

Shinji nods. "Ah." He doesn't look convinced.

"You... you insolent dog! You were thinking -_things_-, weren't you?"

"I was actually impressed, thinking you were a prodigy or something."

"Silence!" As she had expected, she is again being dismissed for her physical stature. It hurt, even though he could not have known about her lack of magical ability and how much that reduced her stature even more among her peers. "And what about you?" Louise glances down and blanches at the skull that Shinji was still holding. "Ugh! Is that real? Get rid of that thing!"

Shinji frowns slightly. "I refuse."

That was uncommonly quick and decisive.

"Didn't you hear me, commoner? That is an order!"

Shinji ponders his options. He supposes Asuka is likely to be made angry by any disrespect to her remains. However, other than sentimentality, that it was her actual skull meant nothing; like all others of humanity she is now an atemporal being. He feels that Asuka had no objections to the arrangement, but it is a test, isn't it? Which does he value more, the memory of his wife or the commands of his new mistress?

It should be no contest. If it was Asuka in his place, he had a feeling her main problem would be keeping her wrists from wrapping around the uppity little noble's neck and squeezing until the arrogant little snot's head pops. He can deal with that sort of random bitchiness and _oh fuck you Ikari_. But, isn't he also under obligation to move out from the shadow of the past?

His nostrils flares out a bit, as he realizes that subtle scent- is the distinctive odor of fear. Though Louise looked defiant, everything in her manner communicated such a loaded mixture of despair, disbelief, and dread.

He slowly puts his weight over foot in front, and sees that subtly, Louise is unconsciously shifting back in response. She is afraid of him. How novel.

"Are you afraid?" he asked. He raised Asuka' skull to let Louise stare at its empty sockets. "All things must die. We will all, one day, turn to dust. Are you afraid of being reminded of your mortality?" He nudged the skull closer. "Please don't be afraid. I won't hurt you…" he said in a low, and what he hoped was a soothing tone.

No, you moron, you just sound like you want to rape her or something.

"Ugh! Get away!" Louise scrambles back. "Ew! Eurgh!"

"I like to be reminded that no one can master death. People need a dose of perspective."

"You... you're disgusting." Louise hissed. "I'm telling you, get rid of it, or... or... or I'll make you!" The young noble raises her wand, thinking that here has come a time when her tendency to cause explosions would be useful.

Shinji just smiles. Louise grits her teeth and lets her spell fly. Boom! His hand is engulfed by thick white smoke. Louise reflexively shields her face from the explosion with her wand-holding arm.

He is unmoved.

And of course Asuka, even at least her skull, would be indestructible.

As the wind blows away the smoke, the bare skull seems to exude a sense of unconquerable ferocious pride.

There is a certain power in lingering affection. A particularly creepy romantic gesture, but at least he made the attempt. Now Shinji just requires an excuse to explain why he just can't let go. Without going into a whole lot of _'none of your goddamn business ma'am'_.

"She keeps me humble." says Shinji in a tone full of fondness. "I'm not afraid of death, my master. I think, someday, you will find it useful to be able to look at death like an old friend."

Louise has a strange look on her face, as if constipated. Her insides clench in a mixture of fear and revulsion. What had she done to deserve such a familiar as this? Much like Colbert, she just chooses to just ignore it all, repressing any hint of weakness, and try to keep her dignity. She turns around sharply and begins to walk towards the castle.

Shinji follows a few steps behind. He touches at his lips with the fingers of his left hand, then to the bare teeth of the skull.

_'Asuka... she reminds me of you.' _he whispers aside. 'A little of... Ayanami, I think. And me.' The crushing loneliness is familiar, but unlike Shinji, Louise didn't take the option of apathy. She has too much pride for that. _'I can't live for someone else. My own free will is the least of things I can give up, clearly I can't be trusted to decide things on my own.'_

He has no epic quest, he has no expectations to fulfill. If he were anyone other than himself, it might even seem like a vacation. This terrifying freedom, he feels sick just thinking about it. He feel grateful to the arrogant little girl for his shackles. He is like someone who, having lived underground all his life, fears falling up and being swallowed by the endless sky.

A pathetic little girl is Louise La Valliere, and it is almost a pity that to have him around is to inevitably crush what little remains of her sanity. In many ways it is like looking at a distorted mirror. Shinji is resolved to help in what meager ways he is able.

Ahahaha, oh. Oh. Dammit. This can't possibly end well. Someone help me, I can't stop laughing. Shutup you assholes. Damn you all, I'm a ghost, why does my gut still hurt? A-agh.

.

* * *

**Simpler is better. **

Less angst, more fun.

Or rather, _more_ angst, _more_ mockery.

.

Anyway, why Shinji? Why keep using such a boring protagonist?

Would it have been more acceptable if it was Gendo as the protagonist?

... and which case, why?

The fact that the kid can still feel regret is a sure sign that he's not a psychopath. He's neurotic. That he's mentally weak is the whole point of the characterization; he's a normal kid with no training thrown into a warzone as a subversion of the standard protagonist.

There were points in the series that he was actually trying to be a typical shounen hero; such being absorbed by Leliel for one thing was from trying to act like Asuka. It's just that the entire story is designed to break this kid, mentally and spiritually. He's 'hated' for not being the typical hero that shrugs off emotional pain. Like it or not, NGE is a groundbreaking anime by daring to show how combat pressure causes trauma to conscripted child soldiers.

That kid is a seething mass of self-hatred that manifests in his berserker state that wants to destroy everything. It's not just Unit 01; since he was roaring fully conscious in the fight against Zeruel before he ran out of power.

There are those among us who find it interesting, the realism applied to a stock character. Even Asuka, who acts closer to the hotblooded archetype, shows the mental problems inherent in defining one's self-worth around the ability to perform.

There are writers who use Shinji to give the kid a second chance, to examine what his personality would be like if the world wasn't designed to screw with him at every opportunity, to grow up and become a young man. It's just stupid fanon to think that Shinji is all about whining and being emo, like Akane is a violent bitch with no redeeming features. Screaming at Shinji to man up is missing the point; he's **fourteen**. He's scrawny and a bully magnet. As a typical 14-year old, he has no self-confidence, and now thrown into a war zone, he's constantly being ordered around and made to watch his friends die in front of him. Every adult he knows consistently fails him, since they too have their own issues. Everybody has issues. Dealing with it is part of what it means to be a social animal.

He's whiny, but even Amuro Ray was whiny once. He grew out of it to become the definitive badass of the Universal Century. The Children of Eva never got the chance.

He's actually got a valid reason to be such a moany little prick at the end, but Asuka would still snark at him anyway.

I think I actually started off wrong in PoF in trying to play up the eldritch horror angle. That's just a side-effect. The greater horror is intangible and comes from within.

Also because taking everything so seriously can sometimes be hilarious.


	2. Ch2: Night in the Castle

_Sohryu._

What?

_You do not actually have a doctorate. The University of Inside Your Head does not count._

Shut up.

.

**Surrogate of Zero**

ch2

.

Click. Whirr.

In our previous episode, _Ikaricus Inepticus _entered the magical land of Helkeginia and was forced into a familiar bond. Last we saw, he was headed into what is apparently a magic academy. Or, a really elaborate fantasy brothel. We're still not quite clear on that.

Shinji never actually made it into the castle. He collapsed unconscious halfway down the courtyard. Tch. A mortal body sure is inconvenient, isn't it?

Click. Whirr.

This is the second subject, _Louise-la-Vallieries Tsunderis Jailbaitus_. Better remember that!

She is, despite her calm facade, exulting inside. She has a familiar! She has done real, incontestable magic. It is apparently a major coming-of-age ceremony. For years she'd dreamed of getting her own familiar, and through it finding her own sphere of talent in magic, and bringing honor to her noble name. For so long it seemed like she had no talent at all.

In a world where nobility is defined as the capacity to perform magic, being so weak was a frightening thing indeed. Wealth or her family's reputation alone may not protect her forever; and to lack ability means her own prospects for the future would be similarly limited. She shivers at the prospect. She was raised in a noble family, but a noble has to be able to do magic. She's sure that her own mother would cast her out, send her to live unprepared among the commoners. A failure deserves no better.

That fear is gone! At the worst, she can just dread being a wife cooped up in a mansion, better left unheard and unseen. A prisoner of relative luxury. It's a pitiful life, but at least not horrible, like working with her hands like a commoner. Or, worse, being subject to... indignities.

She doesn't get that spreading her legs for some noble for her life comforts isn't really that much different from a whore? There's this cloud of various justifications and status symbols surrounding her conception of it. Her child may yet be a strong mage.

Really, she's almost looking forward to being breeding stock. Enforced aristocracy does strange things to people's minds. Well, I suppose it's not much worse than any other society that mankind may devise. Shinji is still pointedly ignoring the conventions of the setting he's forced to take part in, but what the hell does morality mean to something like him, anyway? He is limiting his perceptions and concerns to what's just around him. She seems happy, so he's happy.

Click. Whirr. Ping. Popcorn popped, time-space synchronization, set! Recorders, online! Go, Voyeur Force!

It's night now. Louise's room is large and airy, more like a hotel suite than a student's bed room. There's a gilt-decorated dresser with a large mirror, a round coffee table with two chairs, and a four-posted bed. The room is dimly lit by a lamp made of some steadily glowing orange crystal, proving amber light like and old-fashioned incandescent bulb. Louise is sitting cross-legged in the center of her, while Shinji stands uncomfortably near a heap of straw. She beckons him closer, and very reluctantly he moves to sit near the foot of the bed. Louise is feeling gratified at his obvious fear. Asuka's skull is on a table, pointedly placed to face away.

Louise had been tempted to order a servant to throw it away, but some dimly perceived instinct of self-preservation had command the castle's retainers to bring it along as they hauled Shinji's up to her room. Heh heh heh.

She hadn't failed to notice that the first thing her familiar looked for when waking up was his grim bauble and how he so quickly relaxed upon seeing it nearby Good. Louise thinks he should be more receptive when it's made obvious that she knows his weak point.

"Tell me about yourself." Louise orders, while making sure that her wand in her hand is very visible. "Where are you from? What can you do?'

Shinji shrugs. "Whatever you want me to do, I guess?"

Louise's lips twitch up at that. "Well, if you keep up this behavior we just might get along." She looks towards the skull. "I still don't want that... thing... in my room."

Shinji just shrugs. "That's all right. I can just find some other place to sleep." Camping outside would be really inconvenient about being on hand to receive orders though, but that might be a plus in of itself. And now he's thinking about having to climb up the tower wall to get to the window because having to go in and walk up stairs might be too slow.

Okay, that? That isn't something a normal person should even _consider_ as a possibility. Normal people don't think like that. He needs to learn how to keep his cover better.

Louise doesn't like his blase disregard for his living conditions. If he's too independent, then she can't control him. There is always fear, she supposes, a motivation she understands quite well. Never make a threat that you are not willing to follow through, this she learned from her mother. "I am your master!" Louise crow. "You will respect me and obey me!"

"Yes." says Shinji in the most apathetic tone possible.

Louise puts her palms to her face and a mad giggle escapes her lips. "Hee... heheh... aaahaha!" she cackles. She has no idea what to do with someone being so obliging. That's what servants are supposed to bo, but aren't they supposed to be unseen until called for? What does it mean, that her familiar is just some random servant? And just a servant boy at that! Not even someone midly impressive, like a soldier or barbarian or something.

A familiar is a major milestone in the life of a mage, it's supposed to reveal what element she's best at; and the bond reinforces that. Since the familiar embodies that element, it would stabilize a mage's magic and make it easier to learn more advanced spells.

She squints at him. There has to be more. His presence says things about her, and she feels she must understand the implications... for self-defense, at least. Years of being emotionally assaulted for her lack of talent in magic has Louise a bundle of passive-aggressive nerves. "Really, is there anything you're good at? Where did you come from?" Belatedly, Louise is starting to realize that her familiar seems oddly too calm about being yanked from wherever.

Shinji just shrugs again. "Housework, I guess? I'm not very good at fighting." This should be obvious enough from his scrawny frame. It's the total truth, but also an utter lie. "As for where I'm from... it's very far away, I think. It doesn't matter."

"This is stupid." Louise groans, trying to rub away a headache. "A mage with a commoner as a familiar... what's the point?"

"Um, maybe if I actually know what familiars are supposed to do? That might help."

Louise looks up, a determined glimmer in her gaze. She was always good at lecturing. "A familiar is of vital aid to a magician. Firstly, a familiar is able to grant its master an enhancement in vision and hearing."

"Excuse me, but how does that work? Will a cat familiar allow you to see in the dark, while a dog familiar improves your sense of smell?"

"Don't interrupt!" Louise touches her chin. "Though that would be an interesting effect. But what I means is that what the familiar sees, the master can also see."

No bonuses to basic stats or derived abilities? Just remote awareness? Lame.

"Oh." He looks around. "Does it work?"

"No, I can't see anything."

Shinji sighs in relief. Privacy is still something of slight value to him. The only thing worse would be if someone could read his thoughts and feelings openly and without limit. Oh wait.

But that's a sign of trust, isn't it? One of the basic foundations of free will is choosing who to share one's own dreams and sentiments, knowledge and intentions. Without trust, it's just coercion. How can he possibly trust this little girl so quickly? How can he possibly trust anyone after everything? To trust is to be betrayed, to open one's heart is to be hurt. He trusts only the one person who can destroy him so thoroughly.

"Also, a familiar will retrieve items that its master desires. For instance, reagents." Louise continues.

"Reagents?"

"Catalyst to be used when casting certain spells. Something like sulfur, or moss..."

"Hm..." Shinji looks down at his hands. There is the vague memory of holding a pickaxe. "I suppose I can do that, though probably just buying it from the market."

"Anybody can do that! It's supposed to be that a familiar can get reagents fresh and from the wilderness. You don't even know what kind of reagants there are!"

"That's true. I could try to learn?" He wiggles his opposable thumbs.

Louise huffs. "All right. Not that it matters anyway." She points at him. "And this is most important of all... A familiar exists to protect its master! The task of protecting them from any and all enemies is a duty of the highest priority! But that might be a little bit problematic for you..."

"Since I'm human...?"

"...A powerful magical beast would almost always defeat its enemies, but I don't think you could even beat a stray dog!"

"Protecting someone?" Shinji feels as if his ribcage has grown spurs, and they're now digging into his heart. "I... don't think I've ever been able to protect anybody... anything... in my life." he mumbles despondently.

Louise is unconcerned. He's but a boy to her eyes. Of course, he hadn't lived enough, probably just worked in a scullery or something. Her lips curl up in a sneer. Putting her life in his hands is out of the question. There is no trust going the other way either, and why should there be? Louise doesn't even trust herself. "This is why I will be having you do things like laundry, cleaning, other miscellaneous tasks that I'm sure even you can do."

Shinji smiles slightly. "If it's just that, you don't need to worry. I can handle that just fine."

Louise smiles back, despite herself. Shinji thinks she looks cute, in a very fragile sort of way.

You moron. Don't just do it for free!

"Um, in exchange the mage does what for the familiar?"

Louise's good cheer evaporates abruptly. "It is an honor to serve a noble! To be my familiar is something that just doesn't happen in a hundred years, a thousand! You're uniquely blessed among all peasants! Don't be too presumptuous, servant!"

"But... it would be inconvenient if the familiar just dies from neglect or something, right? What does that say about the mage?" Shinji makes a sheepish grin and scratches at the back of his head. "I do get free room and board, right?"

Louise sniffs haughtily. This is irritating, but as a noble she comprehends that commoners are selfish and self-interested, and will only work as far as they're made to do. "Of course. As long as you're properly obedient."

A salary, you fool! Negotiate for a salary!

"Money isn't important to me." says Shinji. "I just need enough to live peacefully." He looks outside towards the night sky, bedecked with stars and the two oddly colored round moons. Red and blue. That makes no sense. Colors on planets and planetoids comes from the composition of its surface and sunlight reflecting off its atmosphere. The Red Earth is supposed to be red for a reason. But blue-! That's water. Or helium, but that 'moon' doesn't look like a gas giant from over here. Of the two moons, the blue one is smaller than the other, but it's clear from over here that both are pitted with craters.

Huh. Shinji wonders how long it would take to boostrap space exploration on this planet.

"Do you think that, someday, you might... travel?" he asks in a wistful tone.

"Is... is that why you're not bothered by this? It's... it's all so strange, isn't it?" Louise asks, starting to show some recognition of the inconvenience she may have put on someone else. Even a commoner, a servant boy, has his duties. While she takes the awe and obedience of commoners by default, Louise does know that estates require constant upkeep. Who and what did he leave behind whe she summoned him? "You want... to explore?"

"This world of yours is al so new to me. I'd like to see more of it." he replies. In his mind he adds; I want to hold it in my hands, and not crush it. "Life is such a wonder, you know? So varied in forms, so weak and also so strong. I'm afraid of what might happen, but it's also great not knowing what may happen."

Adventure, huh? Louise can understand that motivation. Sometimes she also feels stifled, and ponders that her familiar might perhaps be braver than her. He has no power, but accepts the future with good cheer. Or, as far as his dour face can seem to express cheer anyway. Louise only has fears for the future. Maybe this is the reason he was chosen by fate to be her familiar. She may constantly be judged as a pale shadow of her mother in Tristain, but what if she were to journey around Halkeginia, meeting strangers and having exciting new adventures? She'd be appreciated there only for herself.

Not until that moment had Louise seriously considered the possibility that she might just -_**leave**_-... not treason or defection, obviously, she quickly defends even to herself, but just as traveler and troubleshooter, maybe a diplomat or trader.

Her deepest is even leaving home, permanently, being cast out as worthless. She'd never dared to consider being independent before. She craved recognition, not self-fulfillment for its own sake. Louise la Valliere is seventeen, but has the maturity of someone much younger. She on occasion has the grandiose dreams and unwarranted expectations of a child, but also the pessimism of a person beaten down again and again for all her best efforts.

The black haired boy and the pink-haired girl, and despite all evidence to the contrary, one of them is a slave and the other is actually free At this point I can't even tell the difference anymore.

Louise exhales. There's not much more she'd like to know. He's just a commoner, a familiar. She doesn't need to know any more about him. After all, hah! That might lead to her start thinking of him as a person and add needless effort to her daily routine if she has to care about his opinions and well-being.

She's happy, but she's still screaming inside. Things are going so well. It's too good to be true; she never gets any good breaks. She can't help but to believe; it can't be that easy. It can't be that painless. There has to be something she's missing. She thinks back to her upbringing under the Rule of Steel. Okay, she's asserted her dominance. What else? Oh, yes, prove that her dominance is actually accepted. A noble is supposed to be bound by her word, but commoners know no such honor. They'd lie and cheat for as far as they can get away it, and it's the noble's fault if she's stupid enough to fall for it.

She yawns. "All this talk is making me sleepy." She puts her wand on the bed, behind her but still within reach and rises to her knees. Making sure to look intently into his eyes, she starts to unbutton her blouse. She relishes the surprise, and panic, and... maybe even leering interest, in his eyes. She stops, spreads her arms to the side and teasingly says, "Undress me, familiar."

"Um, what?"

"I'm tired and I want to be undressed for bed. A noble should not have to trouble herself with changing clothes when there is a servant around to do it for her." Louise explains in a bored tone.

"But... okay, but that's for maidservants, not manservants. You do know I'm a boy, right?" Shinji asks desperately. "It's improper."

"You're not a servant! You're my familiar! I should have no problem with you seeing me, than I would be ashamed at being seen by an animal! Obey me!"

Shinji winces. Ouch. He wonders if this girl is actually mentally disturbed enough to believe that. He has a choice now, to obey or refuse. Which would be simpler? Leaving would take less effory, but then that would imply he has any self respect. He sighs and moves closer, walking on his knees. Slowly he begins to unbutton Louise's blouse. Button by button, he works carefully, fighting off keeping the shaking of his hands. Being so close to another person for so long, it's a weird feeling. To Louise, this may mean nothing, but to him- he feels as if his gut has frozen solid.

Louise's uniform is made of fairly thick cloth, probably cotton, and not rich silk. It's breathing but non-sheer material, at least. A sensible one, considering that Louise doesn't wear a bra and stiff breeze would be uncomfortable and oh ho ho ho, why are you even noticing that little fact, Ikari?

"You really shouldn't say such hurtful things, my master." he says in a sad whisper. "An animal is ruled only by hot urges, a human can temper his passions with reason." This he says even as he removes her blouse, revealing but a sheer negligee for underwear, pulling Louise's arms back and arching her back.

Louise shivers, a warm electric jolt trickling down her spine. His voice seemed to rumble within her lungs. "Eek!" Quickly she pushes at Shinji, sending him crashing off the bed, and covers her breasts.

Oh, _**now **_she gets embarrassed?

"Unngh." Shinji is lying flat on his back, his legs still half-up on the bed, staring up at the wood-paneled ceiling. His vision darkens as a white blouse covers his face, then followed by a black skirt and black stockings. He clears them away and starts to get up. "You- you...! I want these washed and ready by tomorrow!" he hears an squeaky indignant voice say from above. His vision is blocked again by another piece of white cloth.

He removes it from his face and faintly blushes at seeing what he's holding. Louise's panties. He looks up to see that Louise is already in bed, deep under her blankets and facing away. It's the principle of the thing. Louise felt that stopping halfway would have been to admit weakness. She wants her familiar to obey her orders without question, without being bothered by shame or second thoughts, even if it means she's the one feeling embarrassed instead.

Shinji slowly comes to the realization that she's nearly naked under there, and his only reaction is to think it's a hassle. Won't she be cold in the morning? And now where is he supposed to find a place to wash and dry these things? It's night! He looks at the large dresser. A noble should have some back-up outfits, right? Uniforms are like that. He opens his mouth to ask where he's supposed to sleep after doing the job, then reconsiders.

Louise has her eyes open under the covers, and clutching fitfully at edges of her pillow. The tension in her shoulders only relaxes as she hears his footsteps recede, and the open-shut of the door. Her painful grip unclenches slightly. She's blushing. She feels too wound up to sleep. Ooh! That was so _bad_. She's so embarrassed she can just giggle.

Oh, Shinji, you idiot. You stupid moany little moron. You really have no idea that damage that you could do if you just weren't so freaking... **you**.

.

_Ikaricus Inepticus_ is lost. Not a surprise.

The best glimpse he had of the castle was from outside. Now he's inside, it's dark, and it's a long hallway. He doesn't even know which way is north, and is just hoping the castle was built with repeating features. After all, he didn't see a bathroom in Louise's room. Which brings up a point, how can he assume these people even have plumbing?

Meh. Magic. They might be able to make flow water uphill, for all we know.

On that note, hey, stupid Shinji, listen to me seriously for a minute, will you? It's bad form for the observer to taint the data like this, but inquiring minds want to know. For all we know, this whole magic thing can do things even you can't do. Magic's supposed to be what's impossible. So how come that when you were afraid of losing my skull, it wasn't your first thought afterwards to _'Find someone powerful enough to cast **Resurrect** or **Phoenix Down** on Asuka'?_

Shinji stops. He stops HARD.

There's nothing in front of him but empty air, but he halts so suddenly it's like hitting a wall so hard causality itself may break.

He drops to his knees, hyperventilating, shocked into a frozen stupor. His mind boils over with disbelief and self-loathing. Why wasn't that his first thought? "Oh god." he gasps. "Hnrrgh-!" His body rejects that idea. He wants to vomit, so completely disgusted is he with himself. To think that he'd actually come to accept her death, to be comfortable with that fact- how more contemptible and unworthy could he be? He doesn't deserve what's been happening to him, just a little bit of good fortune and he forgets. It is inexcusable.

... nnyyeeah, I knew this might happen, but I didn't think it would be this bad. Oh, come on, Ikari! Stop being such a drama queen!

Though this isn't much of a surprise either.

Listen! What happened to me wasn't your fault. I can hate a lot of things about you, but that- you never have to ask for my forgiveness about that. No one blames you. You can bitch and moan about about anything else, but not that. I forbid it!

You're afraid and it's one of the most rational thoughts you could ever have. You know what I'd do the instant you bring me back, right? I'd kick you in the balls so bad you'd be in geosynchronous orbit!

You can't lie to me. I'll tell you why you can't do it- at some level you knew it wouldn't work anyway. I'd have to want to come back. But here, like this, I'm dead but dreaming. I'm standing between you and Instrumentality. I'm not going to begrudge how you need me more like this. You're just so useless without me watching over your back.

It is _verboten._No more about this.

"No! Asuka, that's... I won't accept it. I was being too selfish. Please. Don't just leave me unpunished. I'm sorry."

You idiot. There's a reason why dogma calls marriage the union of two souls, you know?

"Asuka, please... don't leave."

And now we return to our regularly scheduled programming.

Thoom. Shinji punches the stone floor hard enough to leave a web of cracks. The sound echoes through the dark deserted corridor.

Ssh. Wait. You hear that?

Pay attention! In the distance...

And slowly, despite not wanting to, Shinji does hear something. A female voice humming a familiar tune. "Fly me to the moon..."

Oh come on. He can't be afraid of ghosts. He's already being haunted. What's one more?

Ayanami's song.

He can't resist this. Oh, sure, he'd like to wallow a bit more in his angst some more, but there's a seed of curiosity in there. The tiny red sphere in his chest starts to burn, a gentle rather pleasant warmth like warm chocolate going down the throat.

"... among Jupiter and Mars."

To **the** moon. This place has _**two**_ moons. What would these magelings know about Jupiter and Mars?

He reluctantly rises and picks up the clothes he'd dropped. He strains to hear where that voice is coming from. He still has no idea which way is north. Eventually he decides to just stop relying on his ears. A pale red glow pulsates from under his white shirt, in tempo to the tune. Feeling tugged towards a certain soul, his unerringly traces the shortest route down three corridors, four stairwells and two courtyards.

Weird. His human ears shouldn't have picked up on that. But we already know that the universe likes to screw around with him like that.

"Oh!" a female voice yelps, as she and Shinji turn a corner and nearly bump into each other.

Shinji steps aside quickly. It's a maid carrying a large straw tub of clothes. She sees the bundle in his hands. "More for the wash? All right, just put them in."

Shinji shakes his head. "Sorry, but my master insists that I do this. If you could just lend me some soap and show me where to wash? Um, I could help out too and do half of that."

"Oh, no, that wouldn't be proper. This is my job after all." she replies with a fakely affronted tone.

Surprisingly, Shinji gets it. He manages a weak grin. "It's not like I have anything better to do tonight. You could tell me if I'm doing something wrong while washing? I just need to make sure my master's clothes are separate from the rest."'

The maid is slightly suspicious. She's never seen him before, but a thief wouldn't be going around trying to help people with their laundry, right?

Shyly, she nods, and motions for him to follow her. Soon, they arrive at a simple fountain.

She puts down her washload and bows slightly. She has on the sterotypical maid uniform, and is about a head taller than Shinji, but still looks quite young. I'd be surprised if she's even twenty. Her black hair is cut to neck-length, and there's something faintly familiar about her features. A plain but pleasant face showing mixed stable genes, large breasts, wide child-bearing hips. I hate her already.

"Hello, my name is Siesta."

"Um, my name is Shinji." This is a western-style civilization right? Family name last. "Shinji Ikari."

"Very pleased to meet you, mister Ikari."

Ugh. This has A Destined Meeting written all over it.

Fuck Destiny. Fuck that evil malicious bitch. Being part of Instrumentality at least means she can't screw us over so directly anymore.

And they sit down. And they work. And make trite boring talk. "Have you worked here long?, "Who is your master?", "Where do they get the fabric for these shirts?, and "How can you tell it's supposed to be shining white only by moonlight?"

Boring, boring, boring. Skip ahead already!

Siesta teaches him how to hold the soap, how to scrub without damaging the material, and why it is that a lot of the washing is still done at night. The nobles don't like their view spoiled by drying clothes, and to dry on the same line as commoner's clothes would be an insult. Not that the students are aware of this, but it's a particular rule somewhere. It's tradition. Drying by the wind or a chimney, the working staff have learned how to get their clothes ready even without sunlight. Night is the best time to do some large tasks, without all the students getting in the way with their random orders.

This is unprecedented to Shinji since no adult, much less a young adult as Siesta, ever before had sat down with him and explained clearly and calmly how to get his shit together. Her voice and demeanor is just so calming. She's at peace and fully focused on whatever task she's doing at the moment.

She hums as she works.

"That song... how do you know it?"

Siesta hesitates, remembering her grandfather's words. _'The things I collect, I hold for someone else. If another lost person comes to you, looking for a reminder of home, then let he or she know that I, Sasaki Takeo, was here before!'_"My grandfather was a traveling merchant in his youth. He collected strange things, stories and songs from distant lands. His name was Takeo Sasaki."

A flash of insight traces a jagged line through Shinji's mind. "Private Sasaki Takeo, Imperial Japanese Navy Air Service. Third child of Sasaki Fubuki and Sasaki Hiyori. Presumed lost at sea near Solomon."

Wait, wasn't "In Other Words" released only in 1954? Ah, so it's part of the maid's grandfather's 'collection', then? We really need to meet this old guy.

Shinji turns his head back from looking towards the uncertain distance. "So that makes you Siesta of the house of Sasaki."

"How do you know that?" Siesta gasps, her body language revealing only fear in how so subtly she pauses and tries to nonchalantly continue with her washing.

"Your grandfather and I are countrymen. I... knew... his family."

_'That seems a bit too convenient.'_ Siesta is thinking, and she's right. Shinji just sighs sadly. So he's met a new person and already he's started to antagonize her.

"If that's true, then there's a question..."

"When your grandfather left, there was a war going on. Your grandfather's side lost. Our country prospered and became a world power in the peace of fifty years after that, so please don't worry about it."

Siesta's nervousness doubles.

"Um, it's a predictable question? For people who lived during that time, war was an all-consuming concern. Did your grandfather ever say out loud that he feels as if he feels he deserted his comrades?"

Siesta nods. Even in his old age, the old man had a restless quality to him. While he was content, even his wife could there was always that part of him that was longing for a distant land. People were very respectful when he died, and hoped that his soul could finally be free to go home and explain his absence to his fellow soldiers.

_'To meet a countryman at last, I wonder how grandfather would have reacted to this?'_ He'd probably be overjoyed, she supposes, willing to accept this person into the family no matter who he is. What his own family of forty years thinks about it would be unimportant. _'Is it really that painful to be taken from your own homeland?'_

"Were you really summoned here by a noble?" she asks. The staff don't normally give a damn about the nobles, even the most magnificent familiars have become boring to them. The only thing that made the recent springtime ritual interesting was that someone spread the rumor that Louise the Zero hired some commoner to pretend to be her familiar. That was almost pathetic enough to be true.

But if taking some person as a familiar is true, then the nobles just sunk even lower than even they feared! Outright slavery! No one is safe anymore.

She looks up to see that Shinji's trying to wipe his eyes and suppress his sniffing. Oh come on, stupid Shinji. Can you possibly be any more of a little kid?

"I'm sorry... I can't help it..." he mumbles.

The hammer of nostalgia hits him all at once. Washing clothes, talking with someone about leaving others to die, it cuts deep in a way that Siesta doesn't comprehend. She looks at him and sees someone, barely more than a boy, ripped out of his homeland. He must be so terrified and homesick!

"It's all right", she says. "It's going to be fine. I'm sure you're going to-" here her voice hitches slightly, as her grandfather for all his efforts and the support of his adopted family until he decided to just settle down, never managed to find a hint for a way home. "... someday, you're going home."

"No, it's fine. I mean, it's just this... and washing clothes, and..."

Siesta's lips are an indignant line. "Yes, it's cruel to take you from so far away just to be some servant. And unpaid at that! Who do these nobles think they are?"

"No, it's not that. I like it. Washing female clothes like this... it makes me remember, I used to do this for my family too." A short, barking laugh escapes her lips. "My guardian... she was horrible with housework. But I know she loved us."

"You're homesick, aren't you? I wish I can help... this isn't right."

"Thank you, but there's no need to feel sorry for me. I don't want to back."

"Don't you want to be with your family?" Siesta asks while dipping her hands in a bucket to rinse the soap off. "Did something happen?" Disagreements are inevitable, even shouting and rebellion, she understands this. It happened to her. But family is family; they shouldn't want to be permanently apart.

"There's no one left." Shinji hiccups. The scent of soap, so clean, washing away blood and shame, it's all too much! Those happy times are crowding into his mind, and they cut deeper than the most painful memories of fear and failure.

"Y-you mean."

"Everyone's dead." he wails softly. Those times forever gone. Wasted. "I'm the only one left."

That genuine surge of loneliness and despair, Siesta could feel it in her bones. Without even thinking she reaches out, wraps her arms around Shinji's neck and pulls his head to her bosom. Shinji just continues to sniffle, reaching up to wipe his eyes. He doesn't even sneak in a single accidental fondle.

Gaah. You-you-you- do you have any idea how many flags you tripped all at once, Ikari? Gah! You're twigging even my maternal instincts and I'm way over here.

Not that a nervous breakdown is all that unexpected either due to the lack of anyone (literally _anyone_ who won't set off any of your damn trauma triggers!) who may release all that built-up stress before, but-

_Ikari-kun._

No, wait, stop! Direct interference is forbidden!

Gyah!

No! Nonononono, goddamit you useless imbeciles! Stop her!

Light bursts out from Shinji's back, forming into thin, pure-white wings. His wings flap open, shining under the light of twin moons. Then, his wings fold forward as if to wrap back Siesta in a hug.

Everything makes sense. Everything will be all right. She who has tried to comfort Shinji now feels secure and protected as she'd never felt before. God is in His Heaven and All is Right with the World. Her heart is filled with such joy that it seems she could just break apart, gloriously.

ASUUKA DYNAMIC SMAASH!

Shinji pushes away from her and gets back to his feet.

Siesta blinks.

No wings. No peace. Just confusion and a little chill from her soaked dress. Was that just her imagination? Shinji is standing up, looking at her with such fear. Why? She reaches out slightly and he flinches.

"I'm sorry, but... um. I have to go."

Shinji Ikari flees like the little bitch he is.

"But.. your clothes?" Siesta asks the empty courtyard. She stares confusedly at the student's garments nearby. They were distinctly female uniform. That boy... he's been hurt so bad, in the inside where no one can see it and it doesn't heal as quick. Now what have inspired such a reaction just from being touched?

Her eyes narrow.

She _knows_. Or at least, she thinks she knows, but you know how it is. She's feeling outraged.

Louise La Valliere, that vile arrogant perverted master, Siesta doesn't know how she'll manage it, but that noble bitch will pay.

Well, that's what she'd like to say, but honestly she's still scared. But indignant! And still scared. But she must investigate for clear proof of even more wrongdoing!

Ahaha. Oh dammit Ikari. If only you weren't just such a total idiot about these things.

.

Louise wakes up suddenly, sweating with terror. She doesn't know why, but she has this strange feeling of being watched. Frantically she looks around, and sees no one in the room.

Wait.

Her memories are clearing up. That's a problem, right?

She claps her hands and the lamp turns on. There, the table, the bleached white orb of her familiar's favored skull is gone. Her familiar- is gone? Did he decide to run away?

Unacceptable! Louise struggles to her feet, kicking off the covers. She runs to the door, not even bothering to put on antything over her bedclothes or slippers over her feet, and forces it open with a bang.

"Bwuh?"

Louise turns her gaze down a bit, to see that Shinji - her familiar, he's real! - is jolted to near-wakefulness. He's sitting, was sleeping, with his back to the wall. On his lap is the creepy skull, that she absently notices Shinji's free hand is stroking on the head as if it's a pet that needs to be calmed down. She shivers. If it's just not that it's the head of a dead person, she could almost swear it's purring from the attention.

"Familiar!" she says in a tone that she hopes is angry enough. "Where have you been? And what do you think you're doing out here?"

"Um. What?" He squints and some comprehension returns to his expression. "Oh, that.. thing, you ordered me to do. Drying now."

He'd had to take deep breaths, slam his head into a thick stone wall for a few dozen times, swallow his terror and come back to try and collect Louise's belongings. Siesta didn't seem to mind, and he's still not sure if she remembers anything. When he returned though, even as she gave him back the washed clothes on hangers, she began to question him pointedly about his master.

Shinji couldn't respond well, since he doesn't really know much about Louise. That just seemed to make Siesta angry, and Shinji's pavlovian conditioning really really wanted to be outside the range of that.

"Waiting." Shinji replies to Louise, as if that explains _everything_.

"Hmf. Why didn't you just come in? Were you so stupid that you locked yourself out?"

"No, but..." in a smaller voice "I didn't feel it was proper."

"Don't be so stupid. A familiar's duty is to stand by his master! Get inside already."

"Um, okay."

Louise looks at the pile of straw she'd prepared for the animal she'd expected to be summoning, then to Shinji's dark-ringed eyes. She seeks insolence and only sees apathy. She expects having to force her will, and only gets dutiful obedience. Louise huffs and crosses her arms. "Fine. You can sleep on the foot of my bed."

"But-"

"Are you going to keep on questioning my orders? Learn what's good for you, already!" Louise yawns. "I don'... I don't want to hear anymore from you. Just shut up and let me go back to sleep."

"Yes, my master." Shinji replies in a whisper.

Louise crawls back under the covers while Shinji collapses near her feet. Soon enough they are asleep.

Sometime around midnight, Louise's involuntary sleeping movements kicks Shinji in the face and he rolls back to fall off the bed. Thump. Neither of them wake up.

Their dreams are full of the taste of blood.

And so ends the first day.

.


	3. Ch3: Second Day

_Sohryu._

What is it now?

_You and Ikari-kun are married under the eyes of man and God, literally so. 'Till death do you part' is inapplicable in your case. Only you have the legal authority to say if any further attachments qualify as polygyny._

That's... true, I guess? I'm not, y'know, adverse to the idea of the idiot actually getting a clue and moving on. But it's too soon to start sailing ships, isn't it?

_I would like to renegotiate his contractual obligations. _

No, Wonder Girl, **you** don't have a law or medical degree either. A mandated minimum weekly allowance of 'nookie' is not a health policy.

.

**Surrogate of Zero**

**ch3**

.

.

In our last episode, we saw _Ikaricus Ineptus _facilitate a stupendously disadvantageous verbal contract with his pink-haired master. He also met a certain maid, who has drawn all the wrong conclusions from his emo mewling.

And now, it is morning. Shinji is woken up by the knocking on the door and a scandalized gasp as a maid enters the room. No, it's not Siesta. Shinji blearily looks up to see a maid with braided hair and freckles standing by the door.

"I'm very sorry to... impose?" she weakly tries to say. "But I'm afraid Miss Vallière needs to wake up now if she's going to get ready in time for classes."

Well of course these noble pricks wouldn't bother to try waking up themselves.

The maid leaves with the reassurance that Shinji would handle it. This is a castle full of horny self-important teenagers without any self-control. I'd be more surprised if finding strange people on noble girl's beds is actually an unusual occurrence.

Louise looks so peaceful and hamless when asleep. Hey, Shinji, find a stick and poke her with it.

"Um, master? Mistress?" He's unsure of the proper form of address. Well, at least it's not Massuh and Massam, right? I have no sympathy for this little bitch, you understand me in this, Shinji? I'd rather see this whole castle burn.

Let's do that. I mean, come on- you can try being some spoiled brat's slave, or you could be running for your life and trying to hide in the wilderness, every single person you meet a potential enemy. It'll be just like old times! It'll be fun!

Let's do it! Let's light up the countryside!

... you're not even listening to me, are you?

Your loss.

"Mistress Louise, it's time to get up." Shinji lightly shakes her shoulder.

"Hawa?" Louise blearily opens her eyes and yawns. "Who... wait. It wasn't a dream?"

"You've got classes, Mistress.

Louise blinks again. That's right! She has a familiar now. She's got to take this chance and show up all those bastards that looked down on her as a failed mage. Like it or not, they have to acknowledge her now.

But, carefully, she tries to keep her face from showing any excitement. "Dress me, familiar."

"If that's what you want..." Shinji replies blandly. He opens the dressers and drawers in Louise's room, showing clean pressed clothes ready for the day. That washing he had to do last night? Totally unnecessary.

Shinji just sighs as he turns around carrying a complete set of the standard Tristanian Academy uniform. He sees that Louise has her eyes closed and her arms already raised high.

"Um, mistress?"

"What is it now?"

"You do realize that if I remove your nightclothes, you'll be totally naked, right?"

"And? So what? I thought we already settled this last night, familiar. You are not a man to me."

Ouch. Seriously, ouch. Even I didn't go that far. Don't take it too badly or, you know, just randomly grow boobs or something, stupid Shinji. He lets out a low whimper. "I refuse." he says flatly. "I'll help you put on your uniform, but your underclothes? Please put those on yourself."

"You're starting to annoy me, familiar. Refusing my orders has _consequences_..." she hisses.

"Ahh. That's... fine? I mean, no disrespect, but I really really don't want to seem like I'm molesting you or anything. It may not mean anything to you, but I'm a boy. It's just not right for me to take liberties like that."

Louise's left eyebrow twitches angrily. "And that doesn't matter. I'm giving you an order. You're nothing better than an animal here!"

She can't see it, but Shinji actually has a narrowed, calculating look right now. "I'm really doubting any of the other mages in this Academy is letting their familiars handle their totally naked bodies. That's a little too close to bestiality, don't you think?"

Louise opens her eyes, and sees that Shinji is holding out a triangular piece of cloth near her face. She angrily snatches up her own panties and shouts "Get out! I'll dress myself. Get out and wait for me outside, you useless dog!"

Shinji just bows deeply. "By your command, mistress."

He turns around snappily, walks over to the door, and leaves. As the door shuts, Louise falls back to her bed, heaving for breath. She rubs at the side of her cheeks, wiping away half-formed tears. _'Now even my familiar's giving me back-talk.' _

She'd been expecting this, and resolved to show him who's in charge soon. Either he or she would bend or break first, and she would rather die than let herself surrender first. Never should a noble show weakness to a commoner.

On some level, she understands that he's just being professional about it. But... that stupid idiot. Revealing her most... intimate details... to her familiar, that's an unspoken gesture of trust too, isn't it? How dare he reject that! A real man wouldn't have passed up the chance! She brings her knees up to her chin and huffs. Though now that she thinks about it, it may have been a bad idea. '_What if he goes bragging about it?'_

But... he didn't want to. So, it's more like what if he decides to go bragging about it... but she knows he won't because he refused to have anything to do with something that would have shamed her?

"Gaah. That stupid familiar! I don't know if he's really being nice or not." '_Does he fear me, or not?' _Louise picks up a loop of her pink hair and tangles it around a finger. '_Do I want him to fear me, or want to obey me?' _She can only carry out an imitation of her mother's uncompromising Rule of Steel, the same merciless method by which she'd been raised. Disobedience is the greatest sin!

The same fear that has her lose all strength and focus at her mother's voice, she can only feel strong if she can cause that in another. She knows she's strong at last, if she's like her mother.

... yeah. Like that's going to work. Mere threat of physical violence? Heh. I'm kind of glad you can't hear me, little magician girl, because if you really want him to gibber in helpless terror, all you have to do is to keep on throwing that unimpressive little body of yours at the idiot. He has utterly no idea how the hell to deal with that.

Thanks to Misato he knows how to spot and avoid shotacon women, but if he has any lolicon tendencies at all, I'd know by now. And he'd be on fire by now.

.

.

Outside, Shinji waits, muttering to herself. "That was a mistake." he whispers. It doesn't seem worth all the trouble, just to- what? Cling to his outdated sense of propriety and morality? He's ashamed of showing some backbone.

Even I'm sort of nervous. It's a strange feeling to live in a universe that isn't out to sadistically screw with us at every turn, isn't it, Ikari?

As he's leaning there against the cold stone wall, one of the doors opposite to Louise's opens. Out steps a tall, dark, red-haired woman. Literally red. Most redheads, even me, tend to have hair more like orange or edging towards light brown. But Louise has pink hair- pink hair! It's natural, we know that she's always had pink hair, so this is believable.

She's tall. Her breasts a little more than the proper proportions to her body, but not so much that it's grotesque. The top buttons of her shirt are unbuttoned, showing the deep valley of her breasts. She's wearing thick lipstick and thigh-high 'fuck-me' leather boots. Can this woman scream out 'skank!' any louder?

And in turn, what she's looking at is a short, scrawny boy leaning on the wall of Louise's room. He looks bored and boring.

Nevertheless, this woman named Kirche asks "Oh. If I'm not mistaken, you're the commoner Louise claims to have summoned as her familiar."

Shinji just nods. He crosses his arms over his chest protectively, but this just makes him look more sullen.

"So, how much is she paying you to pretend?"

Shinji scratches at the familiar runes on the back of his left hand with the thumbnail of his right, and feel the urge to defend his master. "Faking a familiar bond should be really risky, and really expensive." We all remember all that blather about it being a 'Holy Rite' or something. "Are you accusing Louise of heresy?"

Kirche looks thoughtful. "Hmm. That is true. It would take a lot of planning just to have you appear out of nowhere in the middle of the castle. I just don't think Louise has that sort of cunning." She tilts her head to the side and smirks. "Sure, let's say I believe you're really are a familiar. How's that working out for you?"

Shinji's posture just slumps deeper.

Kiche just chuckles to herself. "Oh, little Louise. Will you ever learn?"

"Will I ever learn **what**?" Louise spits out, existing her room fully dressed and ready. "How to act like a bitch in heat?"

Kirche smiles, unaffected. "Well you sure could use a bit more popularity, little Louise." Kirche juts out her generous bosom. "Only a little bit, though. A little familiar for a little girl, how appropriate!" She snaps her fingers and adds "If you really must summon a familiar, better it be like this! Oh, Flame!"

Behind her, a large dark-red lizard slithers out. A wave of heat rushes through the corridor.

It's... a Charmander?

"Behold! A fire lizard!" Kirche exclaims. "See, look at the tail. A flame this vivid and large means it's without a doubt a salamander from the Fire Dragon Mountains! It's like a brand of supreme quality! It fits me perfectly, Kirche the Ardent, full of flaming passion!"

If there are any yellow rodents that throw lightning are around here? There shall be genocide. Again.

Flame peers out from Kirche's side and sees the two smaller humans. It immediately classifies them as non-threats and too bony as food, then- looks again. It seems to recognize the mark of another familiar, puffs up proudly. The salamander narrows its eyes at it looks at Shinji and suddenly bares its teeth and hisses. It begins to breath out hot fog, and claws at the floor, lowering its neck as if ready to pounce.

"Flame! What is wrong with you?"

Shinji raises his head to look at the salamander straight in the eyes. There's nothing but bland fearless disinterest in his gaze. _'A particularly beautiful woman is a source of terror'_ saith Carl Jung. For Shinji, a monster is not so fearsome compared to that.

Flame hacks out a louder, threatening puff and scrambles back, hiding behind Kirche.

The tall red-headed young woman blinks in confusion. "Well... it looks like my familiar dislikes you for some reason." she says to Shinji. "So it seems that we are not meant to get along either. Oh, Louise, at least he fits you." The innuendo may or may not be intentional. "I certainly don't have the time to stand here talking, I have much more important people to do, ohoho, I mean, meet."

She strokes her flaming red hair back and strides off, swaying her hips. The salamander followed her, waddling cutely for such a large and dangerous creature.

"Ooh! That woman! She irritates me!" Louise turns to Shinji abruptly. "Just because she summoned a fire lizard is no reason to be so arrogant!" Heh. Let's leave aside that's what Louise had long planned to do if she ever got a familiar that's even mildly impressive. "But what did you do? That salamander... if I didn't know better, I'd say it was scared of you."

"I... honestly have no idea?"

"Tch. If only I didn't have a human as a familiar."

"Umm... but what's wrong with being a human? You're a human."

"Comparing mages and commoners is like comparing wolves and dogs!" Louise replies, raising her chin. "You can determine a mage's true power just by looking at her familiar! Why did that idiot get a salamander with powerful claws and fire attacks, while I just get you?" Her cheek twitches a bit. What does that say about her own power? Or rather, the lack of it?

"Please don't feel... too bad? I mean, I might not have any magical power, but I am larger than a cat or toad, and please trust me when I say you summoned me from really far away. Does the ritual take a mage's own power or is it magic itself that decides?"

"Obviously it takes a mage's own power, how else can a familiar show a mage's own sphere? Flame mages get familiars that suit their affinity. Why -you- showed up for me..." her voice drops. "I still don't know what I'm supposed to be good at."

Being a total brat with delusions of self-aggrandizement?

But, seriously, if it's Shinji -

If they just so happen to have that sphere here -

Even I have to admit the closest fit might be **Death **Magic.

.

.

"Behold! The Alviss Hall!" Louise says with a grand gesture. "You should count yourself so lucky. Normally no commoners are allowed in here."

Except for the servants, you mean? Unless these nobles can just magic up their own food, and if that were true they'd have evolved into lazy fat bastards that would eventually remove themselves from the gene pool.

It's roomy enough, I suppose. The walls are made of white marble, and the columns are neo-classical. There are three long dining tables, and viewed from the entrance, everyone sitting on the left hand table look a little older and wear purple cloaks. The ones on the rightmost wear brown cloaks- first years. Louise is a second-year student.

Three years of schooling. This is magic senior high.

On a higher level, a circular band along the wall, is where the teachers and other noble staff sit to eat. Chatter drifts around the round hall.

This is smack center inside the center tower of the academy, and is its largest indoor open space. Shinji looks up at the domed roof. This dining hall? It has almost perfect acoustics for the rockingest concert this backwards medievalist society has never known. What a waste.

Louise is still explaining while walking. "Tristain's Academy of Magic doesn't teach just magic, you know."

Shinji nods, trying to look properly impressed.

"Almost all mages are nobles. The saying 'nobles achieve nobility through the use of magic' is a foundation for the education we receive as nobles. Thus, our dining halls must also be fitting of a noble's status."

"Oh, of course, master."

Shinji, without needing prompting, pulls out a chair for Louise to sit. He looks at the luxurious spread and feels his mouth start to water. He sighs. "If that's all? Please excuse me. I'll go... make arrangement for my own breakfast."

"That's not necessary." Louise says primly. She points down.

Shinji follows her finger to see a tray laid down on a floor. "It's… a bowl of some sort of soup."

"Yes. It is."

He looks from it, then to the table, then back to it. He sighs. He looks at Louise.

"And I'm supposed to eat it right here, in the full of everyone, on the floor?"

Louise props her chin on her hands and says impishly. "You know, familiars are supposed to stay outside. You're only in here because I especially requested it."

Shinji takes a deep calming breath. "You set this up yesterday, right?" He sits down near the tray and picks up the half a loaf of hard bread beside the bowl, then rises again. "If you don't mind, mistress, I'd like to offer you some advice."

Louise grins fiercely. "You're getting too ahead of yourself, but so be it. What sort of advice would that be, _familiar?_"

"Mistress, no one else has their familiar inside. By having me here, you're refusing to obey the rules set for those of your status, and by being different you can appear to be special… or you may appear _abnormal._" He sweeps the pointy end of the loaf towards the other side of the table. "Do you really think just showing that you have a commoner as a familiar will change the attitudes of your classmates?"

Louise furtively glances aside to see some of the others in her year snickering. She can almost hear them taunting her about trying to brag about something that isn't worth bragging about. Kirche wasn't impressed by having a commoner as a familiar, after all.

An unimpressive familiar for an unimpressive mage.

Louise grits her teeth. "And? So what are you suggesting?"

"That I eat outside, alongside the other familiars? If I'm no better than an animal, then it's for the best I just dine around other animals. Neither commoners nor animals are allowed here. My eating here is, like, you're insulting everybody, even the noble teachers."

Louise hums contemplatively. "I guess that's true enough. It does look kind of like that, if someone decides to object." Her upbringing makes her think that not giving proper respect to the status of nobles is also a form of punishable disobedience. "Very well, you have my permission to go. But eat quickly, don't make me find you."

Shinji bows. "Thank you, mistress."

He picks up the tray and makes way towards the door.

… what the hell was that?

Since when did you social-fu like that, stupid Shinji? You resolved that issue too neatly. Are you getting advice from someone else? You're cheating on me with someone else! You-you- how dare you!

Shinji just sighs again. "Asuka, she's a tsundere. _You're_ a tsundere." And, with very justifiable reluctant pause, he adds "… more than that, you were a _**pregnant **_tsundere." The difficulty check of trying to defuse Louise? That doesn't even register anymore.

What? T-that.. that girl is nothing like me! She's just a boastful, self-important little girl with self-esteem issues!

"…"

…

… I hate all of you so much right now.

.

.

And so we skip ahead. We skip ahead right goddamn now.

And now they're inside a classroom. The layout with successive levels of raised chairs for unhindered view of the teaching platform in front, is surprisingly sensible. It's like a college classroom.

Shinji rubs his nose. The stink of it! This room is full of pheromones and hormones and all other unconscious odors and cues that people don't even realize they emit. He'd forgotten how terrible it is to have to deal with other people. Then there's the summoned animals that the mage students are proudly carrying along with them. He actually finds them a little fascinating.

For all the weird things that we've fought, Angel biology (and sometimes their lack of it) is interesting. His attention is drawn to what looks like a floating eye with jagged spindles hanging off it like the tentacles of a jellyfish.

Why is it called a 'bugbear' here? It looks nothing like a bug or a bear. Someone's got the monster manual mixed up. Or is it linguistic drift, you think? Originally it meant a mythical creature that inspires dread, and a big unblinking eye looking at you is really creepy.

But it's still better off called a _Beholderkin_, fools!

Shinji palms his face. What's with all the references to a fictional body of work?

Because how many more other things could I have done to waste time just hanging around you? Humanity has an affinity for making games and diversions, because alone we are all slaves to the nature of time. We speed it up and slow it down depending on how much attention we put to something. Now this fantasyland you're in, we still have to understand the arbitrary laws that define its magic. It's kind of ironic, don't you think, that something fictional may in fact make a lot more sense than reality?

Shinji feels a sharp pain in his ribs.

"What are you muttering to yourself there?" Louise hisses, pulling her dainty foot away from his side. "Be quiet and pay attention!"

Louise is the very picture of academic performance. She sits straight in her chair, with her notebook and quill and ink set open and ready. Since she's horrible with the practicals, she's got to be an expert in theory to figure out just why she can't do it. If only she didn't continually encounter the spell failure, she's sure to show herself as a smart individual; a prodigy, some can even say.

... okay, fine. So I accept that she might have some resemblance to myself at that age. Uh, this age? Whatever.

Shinji is sitting on the floor, in a lotus pose. All the other familiars are near their masters, the small ones at least. The larger ones are outside, waiting outside or on the grass below, near the window to the classroom.

The door opens, and the teacher enters.

She was a middle-aged woman dressed in a voluminous purple robe and wearing a hat. She had a plump, round face with a friendly expression on it. "Well, everyone, it seems that the Springtime Familiar Summoning was a great success. I, Chevreuse, always enjoy seeing the new familiars that are summoned each spring."

Louise looks down, suddenly shy.

"Except for the Zero!" someone shouts. "Louise, don't just go on grabbing random commoners off the street just because you can't summon anything!"

Louise grits her teeth angrily. These jerks! She knows there were more than enough witnesses to her successfully binding her familiar, even if he's a commoner. That the rumor's continuing that far, they're just doing it to mess with her.

"I did everything properly!" she shouts as she stands up, her hair billowing out. "He was all that appeared!"

"Don't lie! I bet you couldn't even cast 'Summon Servant' properly, right?" a rather pudgy student adds. The other students chuckle, and he seems to preen at saying something that others actually notice.

"You were there, Malicorne the Common Cold! What are you doing pretending not to have seen it!"

"Common cold? I'm Malicorne the Windward! I haven't caught any cold!"

"Well, your hoarse voice sounds exactly like you've caught one!" Louise snaps back, and the other students have to chuckle at that too. The boy called Malicorne looks around, and realizing that Louise's long experience at being taunted had turned the tables on him, stands up to berate her on her obvious deficiencies. Heh. So he's the worst kind of bully, the one who can only pick on those weaker than himself. How so predictable for any aristocracy, really.

Chevreuse points at them with the wand and makes some small gestures. The two suddenly jerk about like puppets on a string and then rigidly sit back down.

Shinji blinks. It is his first time seeing real magic. No incantation, no flash of light, just a flick and swish and people were being forced to act. Telekinesis?

"Miss Vallière, Mister Malicorne. Please stop this unnecessary argument." Louise's confidence suddenly deflates. All that vibrant outrage she showed earlier just disappears under the slightest hint of disapproval from a figure of authority. "Calling friends 'Zero' or 'Common Cold' is not acceptable. Do you understand?"

"Mrs. Chevreuse, I'm only called that as a joke, but for Louise, it's the truth." Malicorne tries to get the last word in.

A few giggles break out from somewhere. Chevreuse looks around the classroom with a displeased expression, specially as the students don't seem to be embarrassed at all by her noticing their misbehavior. She points her wand again, and, as if from nowhere, the mouths of the students who'd giggled are suddenly filled with lumps of red clay. "A noble must act with dignity and grace. You people shall continue the lesson in that state."

The teacher nods and lowers her wand. "My Runic name is 'Red Clay.' Chevreuse the Red Clay. This year, I will be teaching you all the magic of the Earth element." She looks up and to her left. "Do you know the four great elements of magic, Mister Malicorne?"

"Y-Yes, Mrs. Chevreuse." the boy replies, properly chastised. "They are Fire, Water, Earth and Wind."

Chevreuse nods. "And combined with the now-lost element of 'Void,' there are five elements in total - as everyone should already know. Of the five elements, I believe Earth holds an extremely important position. This isn't just because my affinity is Earth, nor is it simply a personal preference.

The magic of Earth is very important magic that governs the creation of all matter. If it wasn't for Earth magic, we wouldn't be able to produce or process necessary metals. Raising buildings from large boulders and harvesting crops would also involve much more work. In this manner, the magic of the Earth element is intimately related to everyone's life."

That's not creation, that's Transmutation! But, it does make sense. Magic takes up the role of science and technology in this world. In fact, if it is advanced to through theory and experimentation, then it _is_ science. Louise has something to be proud of in being a magician.

Too bad the likely reason that this world doesn't progress beyond its medievalist trappings is probably because the noble class like to stomp down quickly on any attempt at industrialization, or making commoners less reliant on the magical powers of their petty rulers.

"Now, everyone, please recall that the basic magic of the Earth element is 'transmutation'. While there will be people here who have already learned this in their first year, basics build foundations, so let's review it once more."

Oh. Okay.

Chevreuse coughs 'ahem-hem-hem' and waves her wand. A few pebbles materialize on her desktop. "Now, observe."

She then whispers a spell, and they began to glow brightly.

When the light fades, it's clear that the pebbles had been changed into sparkling lumps of metal.

"Is that g-g-gold, Mrs. Chevreuse!" Kirche gasps, leaning forward over her desk.

"No, it isn't. It's plain brass. Only Square-class mages are able to transmute to gold. I'm just..." Chevreuse gives a self-important cough. "A Triangle mage..."

Shinji, we're waiving the non-interference rule for a second. Ask Louise about all this junk about Triangles and Squares. It's funny, this is probably the closest thing to a college education you'll ever have. While we can just cheat and pull that information out of the ass end of nothing, this is your world now, and you better learn how it works.

Shinji sighs. "Excuse me, mistress?" He pokes Louise's ankle.

"What now? Don't be a bother during lessons!"

"What is this about triangle and squares?"

"It's the number of elements that they can add to a spell, which also determines the level of a mage."

"I... don't understand."

"See, for example, you can use an Earth spell on its own. But if you add Fire magic to it, the overall power or effect of the spell increases greatly," Louise adds in a whisper.

"I see." Actually, he doesn't. "Wouldn't putting together an Earth and Fire spell make it a different spell entirely?"

"No, spells themselves belong to a certain element. Spells for healing are mostly Water element. Stacking different elements together changes just how or what is being healed. Those who can stack two elements like Fire and Earth together are called Line mages. Mrs. Chevreuse, being able to combine three elements, Earth-Earth-Fire, is a Triangle mage."

"Earth and Earth? What happens when you add an element to itself?"

"It reinforces that element and makes it stronger."

Why not just put more power into it, then? Shinji winces slightly at the insistent pulling sensation at the back of his head. "Sorry, but is a spell a discrete 'block' of potential, so a Triangle mage can use three spells at once?"

"No, weren't you listening? Transmutation is an Earth element spell. But if you add other elements, you can vary the transfiguration. Our teacher can only turn stone into brass, it takes a lot more to turn it into gold. Only a Square mage can do that." While her practice may be lacking, Louise may take legitimate pride in knowing the theory forwards and back. "Earth and Earth improves the power of the transmutation, but it's Fire that actually directs it towards the nobler metals. This makes sense, since it's heat that melts metal."

"I see. Thank you."

So each element is represented as a vertex? One is a point, two is a line, et cetera. There are four known elements, so a Square or being able to use four elements at once is a good goal. But since you can add an element to itself, do they stay polygons or branch into other polytopes? Add the fifth, and that's what? Pyramid? Ah, wait, what's that thing Louise said before? Pentagon of the Five Powers?

"Um, could you therefore say that the teacher over there is a fairly powerful mage, because she's a Triangle?" A teacher should be a good reference point for magical power.

"Exactly."

"Miss Vallière!" The teacher seems to have noticed her talking, since Louise is now conspicuously leaning from her seat to instruct her oddly attentive familiar. "Since you have the time to chatter, perhaps I should have you demonstrate for me?"

"Eh? Me?" She hadn't been paying attention! "Stupid familiar..." she mutters irritatedly.

"Yes. Try changing these pebbles here into a metal of your choice."

Louise looked troubled, fidgeting in her seat, absolutely unwilling to stand up. Shinji knows the feeling. He wonders if it is a complicated spell. This is the first class of the new school year, right? Springtime Summoning Ritual and all that jazz.

Anything to any metal? Well, since these fools can't just change things to gold that easily, they still have some working economy. But gold's useless to them as a metal except in being shiny anyway. The reason it's used as legal tender is because it's that useless, except for decoration, that its value remains stable. Their coins in percentage of gold or silver don't lose their worth over time.

There's a lot of things Shinji could do to alter the balance of power in this world, without having to break out reality hax. We do come from an industrialized and highly technological society, after all. There's a lot of nifty things we could be making to save on labor and produce higher-quality goods, all without having to rely on some uppity mages.

But if we have some compliant mage, we could do some even niftier things with copper, carbon, and instant aluminum.

Too bad his education is really lacking on the whole mechanics and engineering end, but then again it's _not_ like he's **not **walking around with a library of all human accomplishment in his head.

But he won't get access to it until he stops being such a worthless little wuss. All that power and knowledge under the hand of a pink-haired girl with no self-control? Let's not destroy this world too soon, hmm?

"Miss Vallière! Is something the matter?"

Kirche raises her hand in concern. "Umm... I think it would be better if you didn't let her..."

"And why is that?"

"It's dangerous," Kirche answers plainly. The majority of the class nods in agreement. One of them isn't paying any attention to the class, only to her book. She already has a passive shield spell at the ready.

"Dangerous? How so?"

"This is your first time teaching Louise, right?"

"It is, but I hear she's a hard worker. Now, Miss Vallière. Don't you worry, just try it. You won't be able to do anything if you dread making mistakes."

"Don't, Louise!" Kirche cries out, her face pale with terror.

Louise stands up. Her lips are thin and tense. She walks briskly up to the front of the room, like a doomed prisoner in a hurry to get her execution over with.

Ohoho. It's said that combat veterans exhibit such a thing as danger sense. Now, much of of Shinji Ikari's training was learning how to ignore the natural rising panic of being a squishy human and letting the Evangelion's own power tear through any and all obstacles in its way. Unfortunately this means that all he has left now is an acute sense of potential physical harm and an instinct to turn his body **towards** that danger rather than the opposite (and sane) response.

It's Louise. She's the danger. Ahah. So the mage might suit the familiar after all.

"Miss Vallière, you have to visualize vividly the metal that you wish to transmute them into."

Luise nods. She begins to chant the basic Transmutation spell, while holding her wand over the pebbles. Soft light pulse from the little rocks. Concentration is clear on her face, her diction precise and controlled. She looks every inch the proper magician. Yet, Shinji notices that all other students are now crouching down to hide behind their desks.

Closing her eyes, and taking a deep breath, Louise utters a short final phrase and flicks her wand down.

The pebbles on the desk promptly explode in a bright flash of multicolored light.

Impressive.

Let's see that again.

Louise and Chevreuse catch the blast full-on and are thrown against the blackboard. The hardwood desk itself crumples under the force of the explosion, its pieces turning into flying shrapnel fortunately flung to either side. Dust and smoke sprays out. People scream, and responding to their distress the familiars begin to panic, adding to the chaos.

Shinji hasn't moved an inch from his position. Only the floor around him is free of dust and debris. Likewise, Louise things remain clean and undisturbed on her desk. Shinji is feeling pathetically proud about that.

Shakily, Kirche stands up and points a trembling finger at Louise, who now lies kneeling and clutching at her head. "That's why I told you not to let her do it!" she complains to the teacher, who isn't in any condition to listen.

"Jeez, Vallière! Save us some grief and just quit school already!" someone else screeches.

Mrs. Chevreuse lies on the floor; judging by her occasional twitching, at least she's not dead. A soot-blackened Louise stand up slowly. She's a miserable. Her blouse is torn, and her skirt is shredded on one side. Still, she seems unfazed by the pandemonium. She smiles sheepishly.

"Looks like I messed up a little..." she says, in a weak voice. She's repressing. Heavily.

Of course, that elicited a vehement response from the other students. "That wasn't 'a little!', Louise the Zero!"

"Your success rate is always ZERO!"

Louise stands there, still as a statue, not bothering to defend herself anymore. Maybe by now it's some sort of survival instinct? Her mind's shut down. So this is what she means about being a failure.

Louise the Zero. Zero success rate. Every spell ends in an explosion.

If she gives in to all that repressed anger, she'd be laughing madly and indiscriminately throwing doombolts all around.

Fools. Fools! She should be called Louise the Destroyer. Killgirl.

Ahahahaha.

"That's enough." Shinji whispers. "There's no need to be cruel."

I'm not being cruel. It's not like she can hear me, and it's an accurate enough description. Being able to blow up shit at will has got to have some use somewhere. It's even kind of awesome, if you squint and look at it another way.

"She's being destroyed before my eyes, Asuka..." A steely glint enters his gaze. "I'm pathetic, Asuka... I always end up saying I'm sorry."

Well, that you do. So what's your point?

"I remember, there is one time you said 'sorry' too. You said it to me."

Just before I died. We wasted so much time being afraid of being rejected, didn't we?

Flash. A wounded girl on a gurney. Flash. A steaming entry plug. Flash. Jumping down into an active volcano. Flash. Being cold and alone and in the dark. Flash. A red Evangelion, decapitated. Flash. Misato crying in the next room, and him trying to tune out the sound with old, familiar music. Flash. Flash. Flash.

Stupid Shinji. You accomplish so much when you're _**not thinking**_.

Shinji gets up and calmly walks down towards Louise. He ignores all the noise from the other students and stands before Louise.

"Mistress, are you okay?" At not getting a response, he puts his hands on her shoulders and begins to gentle shake her. "Snap out of it, Louise!"

"Hey, Mister 'Familiar'!" he hears someone say, with obvious doubt about his status. "Why don't you take your 'master' out of here already? A failed mage has no business being here."

Louise clenches her fists and tries to keep her tears from falling. She'd been expecting something like this to happen. Things really were going too well.

"Louise..." she hears as if from a long distance away.

She burns with pain and humiliation. Sometimes she wishes she could just disappear. Other times she wishes that everything else would just vanish. Being noticed is hell, she realizes that now. But on her pride as a noble, she stubbornly pushes through anyway!

"Louise. I'm here. I'm your familiar. As long as I stand here, they can't touch you."

Who are you really saying that to, I wonder? Are you having regrets about not helping back then?

"Of course I regret!" Shinji says with sudden, uncharacteristic anger. There were so many times he could have just stood up and helped ease someone else's pain instead of just thinking of his own powerlessness. Then in a weaker voice "But it's Louise now who needs my help. I musn't run away again. I can't. I won't."

_'Who is he talking to?'_ Louise wonders dimly.

"Let them hurl their abuses on my back. Don't mind them anymore. Louise, open your eyes."

Very reluctantly, she does. She blushes at the intensity in his expression. He nods.

Then he bends down to pick up something. As he kneels, she sees the rest of the class, looking at her with contempt and acid amusement. Only Kirche looks in any way kind, strangely enough, and she has a speculative smirk on her face. Louise starts to feel angry again, she can almost imagine just what that lewd woman is thinking.

Shinji rises. "Mistress Louise. Look."

He holds out his right palm, a few irregular gray pebbles on it.

Raw iron.

To Louise, it's as if the skies just opened up and God Himself started to bless her petite pink-haired head. It wasn't like what should happen, and there's only a little bit left, but she did it! It's small, but it's a success!

Maybe... just maybe... her luck is turning at last. She feels like crying, and this time she has even greater difficulty holding back the tears. The others looking on can only be pleased at seeing Louise looking like she's breaking down in defeat... except, oddly, Kirche again, the only one that recognizes that it's joy that's wrinkling the girl's face.

Oh Shinji, you sap. You know those pebbles weren't there at all when you reached for the floor.

Are you sure what you're doing is worth it? You're just making her believe something that isn't hers. This hopeless sentimentality of yours might just hurt her more in the long run.

.

.

It doesn't take long before someone else arrives to dismiss the class. It seems they actually have procedures and people on standby just to deal with the fallout from Louise casting a spell. Wow, she's infamous.

Mrs. Chevreuse is carried out on a stretcher, but the staff assures every that she's fine. Just unconscious and maybe permanently traumatized, but fine. Louise must still be punished for blowing up a teacher.

Louise doesn't mind. She has to clean up the classroom by hand, and it's only long-drilled habit that keeps her face from breaking out and freezing in a grin. She didn't care that she'd hoped that, for once, she'd have a class where she didn't traumatize a teacher, and from now on the Mrs. Chevreuse's kind and confident look from when she asked Louise to step up to the front of the class... that would now be mixed with fear and dismissal. Just like everyone else. She doesn't care!

Because she's not a total failure. It took a long time, and the results weren't much, but she'd done it at last. With hard work and guts, she'd finally taken the first step into being a mage of real worth!

A part of her mind is shouting, _'What are you doing? Don't be too happy! It'll feel worse when you fail again!' _but she doesn't care about that too. She's just so happy.

Dammit, Shinji.

Her punishment is to clean up the room she wrecked without using magic. Not that she could clean it -with- her explosive magic anyway, but manual labor is supposed to be humiliating for a noble child. Aaand... you guessed it. You could fill a bucket with the damn she does not give.

Shinji brings over a change of clothes from her bedroom. While waiting, Louise surprisingly doesn't give into the temptation to just try her spells again on the ruined fragments of the teacher's desk. She sits there, shaking with giddiness. Shinji has to shake her loose of her thoughts again at his return. After changing into her new clothes, with Shinji standing outside to make sure no one randomly decides to walk in, Louise throws herself to her work.

Theres a lot of it. That was an impressive explosion, wasn't it? Too bad she lives in this backwards society, she'd save film studios millions and days of preparation for special effects.

Wait. Someone make a note of that. Research components for making camera, film and projector. Profit. Research pinhole camera. Espionage. Also? More profit. Louise is useless for the fine chemistry we need, but she's great for making big flashes of light. See if she can make small flashes of light.

Louise is humming as she's wiping down the writing desks. Shinji, really, this is creepy.

Louise pauses to briefly look over at her familiar. He's picking and sweeping up the ruined teacher's desk because far it be for the pink one to get herself a painful splinter in her pinky or something. Louise watches his shoulders. She still think he looks scrawny and useless, but for some strange reason...

_As long as I stand here, they can't touch you. Let them hurl their abuses on my back._

A commoner who doesn't even look suited for manual labor, but those shoulders of his may be stronger than she'd first thought. Not wide, powerful shoulders at all, but somehow... it reminds her of her father's strength.

For much of her life, it's like there's only one person ever to stand on her side, her sister Cattleya. She might love and respect her father, but as her memories show he just stands aside to let his wife carry out her brand of parenting (that is, borderline abuse), he's either dominated by his wife or approves of her method of child-rearing. Now she's starting to realize that a familiar bond is supposed to be a lifetime bond.

So Louise devises a cunning plan. Rather than wiping from right to left, she decides to go down levels until she's working on the lowest seat. To try and 'casually' move into Shinji's work area. Ahah. Yeah... I forgot that normal teenage girls have a problem with the direct approach like that. Whatever happened to all her vivacity from before? She's only so blunt when it comes to dealing with her enemies. For her allies, she just has no idea how to approach from a point of equality or inferiority. Status, it's always all about status with these nobles.

She's not going to thank Shinji for standing up for her. But indirectly she does want to express some thanks.

Eventually she says "Hey. Familiar. Um... "

"Yes, mistress Louise?" Shinji asks attentively. "What do you need?"

Louise looks away. "I-I just have some questions, all right?"

Shinji tries to look impassive. She's just so cute when she's flustered. Normally I'd snark at him for this, but even I just want to pinch her cheeks until she cries because it hurts. Those teary eyes. Hnngh. My non-existent heart.

"Your full name. What is it, again?"

"Ikari Shinji, mistress Louise. Ikari's my family name."

"Right. It's getting kind of irritating hearing you say mistress Louise over and over. There's another meaning for 'mistress', you know! Call me Louise, and I'll call you Shinji."

"It would be an honor... Louise."

Louise tries to hide a pleased smile as a smirk. "What kind of name is sheen-jee anyway? And ee-karee? Is that the town you come from?"

"Um, no. It's my mother's family name. My father took her name when they married. His name is... a little bit more difficult to say. Ro-ku-bung-gi. My family name just means 'Anchor'... and my name is, um, a very common one. It has many meanings, I never really got to know what my parents intended."

_'His father took his mother's name. That's interesting. She must have had a higher status than him. To have a name like that, while a commoner he must be of some rank among the __bourgeois.' _Louise pauses in her wiping of a desk and lets the silence stretch out as she moves to the next. A basic ploy in discussion to control its flow. "How weird. So, your family... they have something to do with ships, then? Or trade? Are you a cabin boy? You look like a cabin boy."

Shinji shakes his head gently. "I really don't know much about my mother's family. She was... a scholar and a doctor, you could say, but she died while I was young. My father was the leader of a... well, you could say a private army dedicated to protecting a single city. I was raised with my aunt and uncle far away, until my father wrote to me to join him."

Louise looks at him oddly. "Your father's a mercenary? Wait... _you're_ a mercenary?"

"Uhh... kind of? Sure."

"You're lying."

"Um..."

"Really, I don't believe you. You don't look even remotely -**that- **interesting. Just tell the truth already. I won't mind if you're just some porter or errand boy or something."

Shinji just shrugs. "What I was isn't important. It's not like I'm here to fight anyone anyway."

"You're my familiar. What if I order you to fight someone?"

"It depends? While I'll try to obey your orders, I'd feel really bad about going after children and innocent people. Others who are trying to attack you..." Shinji shrugs again. "Charge and hope for the best, I guess."

Or the -least-. Because making it rain blood is, again, not something normal people tend to do.

"Familiar, you fail to be convincing."

"There's not much I can do against normal people. I'm really better with housework, I'm not lying about that."

Shinji is getting good at this whole _'the truth greatly depends on your point of view' _thing. He's not lying about anything, not directly.

"How old are you really?"

"Me? Um... I'm still fourteen, I think." That's what his body is saying.

You feelthy liar. I can't believe you kissed me with that mouth.

Louise frowns. He's not much taller than her, but she had really thought he's closer to her age. His eyes are those of a tired, old man. Looking carefully now, what she had thought was the thinness of an ill-fed commoner is the lankiness of person still in the growing stage. She sighs.

His father has a military command. It might not be much, but it's something more impressive than just any shop stall to inherit. She took him away from that. He doesn't have much experience because obviously the hired soldiers would keep him busy learning the day to day operations and keep him away from where he'd get his fool self killed.

Louise is feeling conflicted. On one hand, it's coming to light that she may have unjustly taken a person from his own place in life. Maybe eventually, if he serves her well, he could confer on him some military duties. Her father is a Duke after all, and the House of Vallière has its own levies. On the other hand, doesn't it look quite appropriate for her? She's starting to see how a human, though much higher maintenance than an animal, may be so much more useful. It's interesting, much better than some nameless salamander from the Fire Mountains.

Louise nods. "Get back to work." Finally, her life is starting to make sense.

Cue laugh track.

Thank you.

.

.

They finish just before lunch. Louise misses the next class. She's in some agony about that, since it's not like there's anyone in her class who might be inclined to lend her notes. Her euphoria still hasn't faded enough, though.

Shinji's lunch is the same bland fare as breakfast, and still set waiting on the floor. Louise frowns at it, and decides to tear off a piece of her better-quality sliced loaf and a strip of ham. "From now on you should go ask the kitchen for food." she says. "Feeding you noble food will just build up bad habits."

Oh of that we have no doubt. She waves him away, and with a bow Shinji leaves the hall. It's a nice spring day. Rather than eat standing up with the tray over a window ledge, he decides to go outside and really eat with the familiars. As he enters the courtyard, he sees that unlike Louise and her concerns with looking like the proper noble figure, there are some nobles who also prefer to eat outside. There are some nice, umbrella-shaded lawn dining sets and gazebos out here.

Only belatedly, remembering Flame's reaction, does he remember that going near monsters might be a bad idea.

"Kyui!"

A squeaky bellow rises from somewhere, and then Shinji sees a broad blue serpentine head. Wide, oddly innocent lizard eyes peer at him. The head rises, and rises, and he realizes he's looking at a large blue dragon. By its proportions however, he has the feeling it's still quite immature.

"Nyuuu!" the dragon bellows again, and begins to rush towards him. Its massive form throws aside tables in its way, and there are cries of dismay and outrage from the dining students as their lunches are ruined and their familiar sent to fearful panic. Shinji just stares back, surprised but unmoving.

The blue dragon reaches him, rears its head back, opens its mouth and-

CHOMP!

There is a female scream from behind Shinji as the dragon bites down his head.

Siesta collapses to her knees, numb with shock, the tray full of food she'd snuck off for Shinji spilling onto the lawn. A young, short-haired noble girl with thinly-cut blue hair approaches in a hurry, then suddenly slows down to a calm measured pace. Instantly she notices what most others looking in horror at the scene had missed.

There's no blood.

The dragon's jaws are down to the neck, but she can still see the boy breathing, his neck muscles moving. The dragon had never any hostile intent in the first place.

"Sylphied." she says in a calm, very very faintly scolding tone. "Bad."

"Ugu?" The young blue dragon blinks, turning aside slightly to see its master. Her name is Tabitha. She's a girl in Louise's class. Fine. I'll say it. She has a distresssing similarity to Rei Ayanami. The dragon looks intimidated, and pulls free from sucking at Shinji's head with a wet pop. "Uuu... Irukuku kyu kuyu yuu..."

One can almost hear it trying to say _'But Big Sister! He just smelled so good! I wanted to know if he tasted good too.' _

Shinji just stares forward with glassy traumatized eyes. His hair is sticking straight up. Goop is dripping down his neck. He's like candy to young dragons for some reason.

Sylphied moves to lick his face again, but is held back by a simple "No." from Tabitha.

The slim, blue-haired girl inspects Shinji. She pokes him lightly with her staff. Huh. So far we've seen only a few teachers carrying staffs instead of wands. Wonder what the difference is?

Shinji's dull expression clears. He sees the face in front of him and terror instantly claims his expression.

"Familiar of Louise." Tabitha says plainly. "Undamaged?"

Shinji is frozen in place. He can only nod slowly.

"Tabitha." says Tabitha, gesturing to herself. She looks up to Slyphied. "Apologize."

"Kyuhuuu.." The immature dragon actually manages a serviceable bow of contrition.

"Sylphied." Tabitha adds. Then, without any more wasted words, she moves past Shinji and leaves. Sylphied dutifully follows, but not without one last curious sniff.

No, I have no idea why he elicits such reactions from the apex predators of this world. Wait. Hey. Think about it. He doesn't get this reaction from -humans-, so it might be that humans aren't the apex super-predator in this world at all!

And that girl-

Shinji begins to shake.

Okay, fine. No discussion about that girl yet. We'll review this later.

"M-mister Shinji?" Siesta gathers up her courage to stand up and approach Shinji's seemingly frozen figure. "Are you... are you all right?"

Shinji hiccups. Once. Twice. Then he says in a squelched voice "No." He looks down at the tray still in his hands, now icky with splatters of dragon saliva. He puts one hand to his face and then pulls away, trailing a thick strand of mucus. "No. I'm not all right."

Siesta puts her hands to her chest, feeling her hammering heart. Where before she was so terrified, now it's pity that's dominating her being. "I think... we need to get you cleaned up. Please come with me."

Shinji still looks frozen. He doesn't even notice that the noble students out in the court have forgotten their irritation at their interrupted meal, more intimidated by Tabitha's reputation, and had moved on to laughing at him.

Siesta makes a face and reluctantly reached out to grab at his forearm. She pulls lightly, and Shinji steps back will little resistance. "Ew. We need to get you out of those clothes."

Shinji turns around and just nods weakly. "I'm hungry, and tired, and covered with slobber." He hiccups again. "I can't deal with this."

Siesta leads him away back into the castle. She brings him to the servant's quarters and a washroom. The other servants only snicker, at seeing her half-dragging him inside. Siesta hesitates slightly at unbuttoning his shirt, then shrugs. She has brothers, this is no problem. Shinji still looks insensate.

Only after she's brushed him down with a damp towel does the light of intelligence return to Shinji's eye. "Huh?"

"I've been hoping to run into you sooner or later. It's good that I saw you." the maid says while carefully daubing powder over his shoulders, to get rid of the stink of dragon-breath and the slime still sticking to his skin. "Are you all right now, mister Shinji?"

If by _'hoping'_, you mean '_stalking_'. Shinji, she's been waiting for you to show up since after breakfast. She deliberately allowed you to eat your piddly breakfast so it would look better when she presents you with better food filched from the pots and kettles used to cook lunch.

"Oh. Miss Siesta." Shinji looks down at his bare torso and reflexively tries to cover himself up. He pauses at the look of amusement in Siesta's eyes. He relaxes. "Yeah. I'm okay now."

Siesta tilts her head aside, puzzled, then continues to dry off his hair. "What is 'o-key'?"

"I'm fine. It means I'm fine now." Shinji sighs.

"Good. I'll get you some fresh clothes. Don't worry about your old clothes, I'll have them washed and ready in a jiffy." She smiles and winks at him, before leaving him alone in the washroom. Wait. You don't recognize 'okay' but know the colloquialism 'jiffy?' Everybody else does, and yet this is supposed to be Français we're speaking. Have some consistency, woman!

Hmf. Back to the data.

So, which is it, Shinji? Was it feeling that slithering wet tongue slide and rub all over your face in the dark? Or is it seeing someone who looks so much like Ayanami? Or is it both, that triggered your breakdown this time? You were doing so well today... standing up for others. So you still can't manage to stand up for yourself?

Shinji groans and clutches at his head. "Are you sure this world _isn't_ trying to screw with us, not like the last one?"

No, this universe is _definitely_ messing with us too. But Destiny here seems to be more like a vindictive prankster than an outright murderous bitch. It's still best not to get too comfortable.

Cue dramatic chord.

Shinji groans some more. "Asuka, don't-"

_Dun-dun - **dunnn!**_

.

.

end ch3


	4. Ch4: Inevitable Duel

_Sohryu._

Yes?

_Remember that you are also under review. We have re-opened the discussion regarding the no-interference policy. It is clear that an objective documentary is no longer possible with such a tainted observation process. _

That's not fair! It's not my fault if...

Wait.

This isn't an appointed position. Why the hell should I care if I'm under review?

I see what you're doing there. You're just trying to tempt me into saying 'Oh yeah? I'd like to see YOU do better.'"

_Curses. Foiled again._

... that you say things like that with a straight face is why you're not allowed to be the narrator.

.

.

**Surrogate of Zero**

Ch4

.

.

In our last episode, we saw _Ikaricus Inepticus_' first day as _Vallieries Tsunderis_' familiar. He demonstrated an uncommon amount of spinal fortitude. And just as he seemed to be gaining a little bit of dignity, he lost it all again abruptly. There are yet more terrors that he must discover.

There is a door.

Dun.

Behind it, Shinji looks at himself in the polished steel plate that serves as mirror for the commoner staff's washroom.

Dundundundun.

He is standing with his back to the door, completely unaware. His attention is on his slightly fuzzy image. Without his old familiar school clothes, he looks different. He even feels different.

DundundundunDUN!

The door opens.

"Mister Shinji?"

"Gyah!"

While not actually doing anything embarrassing, to him just standing around thinking _'I kind of look good like this' _is acknowledging too much of an Ego, and so is… shameful and embarrassing. Just as he needs to learn again just what it is that normal people _don't_ do, he also needs to remember what it is that normal people actually _**do**_.

It's amazing how much of his self-image is bound in his apparel. A high-school kid, forever unable to grow up and accept adult responsibilities; that's the curse of the undying.

Siesta looks him over. She approves.

Now while his clothes remain as monochromatic as ever, with a servant's black vest over his shirt, he looks a little bit older. A little bit more competent. His pants, cut in the local style, fit a little tighter. The plunging contrast between the white shirt and black vest makes him look taller, while the long sleeves hide the bird-bone thinness of his wrists. Siesta nods. Her choice in clothes may have been limited, but she has good taste. "How are you feeling, mister Shinji?"

Shinji's expression is of bewildered peace. Just a short while ago, he was covered in dragon saliva. Now he feels clean, fit, and confident. He feels like he can take whatever the world can throw at him.

Ahahaha. Oh the humanity.

"Um. I feel great, actually. Thank you for everything, miss Siesta."

Siesta smiles. "That's all right. Won't you have lunch with me now?"

"Oh." Shinji puts a hand over his stomach. He's still hungry. "And thank you in advance for that too."

"It's no problem. Only we commoners can help each other, right? While the nobles eat out there, we who cook their food have to eat in the kitchen. Please, follow me."

Doom. Doom. Doooom.

Shinji sneezes a bit and lags behind following Siesta. While making a show of rubbing his nose, he whispers "Why do you keep on saying that about Miss Siesta? She's nice."

Oh you may think she's nice and maternal now, but you have no idea what's going on in that woman's mind. And because it's funnier for us that way, you'll have to find out for yourself.

.

.

The kitchens assaults Shinji with its heady mix of aromas. Among the pungent odors of spices and wood polish, remains the traces of human sweat and the smell of butchered meat. It's not a very well-ventilated place. They must have some sort of magic for food preservation, since all these smells are a sign of fresh ingredients.

Shinji's stomach growls.

"Ha! Ha! Ha! No need to be shy." the big, boisterous head chef says while slapping Shinji on the back. "Eat up, lad. You look like you could use some fattening, unlike some here."

"Ohohoho, why whoever do you mean by that, mister Marteau?" speaks out one of the scullery maids, while conspicuously holding up a frying pan. A few others around her seem to be suspiciously close to large heavy iron cooking tools as well.

"Never you mind!" Marteau replies, totally unashamed. He sits down heavily on the other bench of the large table, facing Shinji. He's a big man, well-muscled, with hairy forearms, looking more like a woodcutter than a chef.

The proof is in the pudding, or so they say. This is pretty good. A little too much with the spices, but some people seem to be mistaking obvious flavor or expensive ingredients for actual good flavor. Somehow, Marteau recognizes that from Shinji's brief pause while tasting the soup.

"Ah! He's one of us!" he tells his kitchen crew. "Personally I don't much care for how these nobles want their food prepared, give me good really rich food, cooked in its own juices. But we mostly have to make do with the leftover around here." He gets a 'hear! hear!' spread of agreement from all around.

"It's very delicious, sir. I have no complaints about this food."

"I am not a sir. I work for a living!' Marteau adds with a good-natured sniff. Though a commoner, he earns as much as a low-ranked noble, a fact which he's proud of. He still seems to hate magic and nobles, despite their being the source of his good fortune. "Sure, they can use magic. Making pots and pans and castles from dirt, conjuring up unbelievable gems, even controlling dragons - so what! But see, creating such exquisite dishes like this is a kind of magic itself, wouldn't you agree?"

"Oh, very much so." Shinji replies earnestly. "It's really a honor to eat food prepared here." Shinji prods a slice of of milk-poached fish. "If only you weren't handicapped by so-called expensive tastes, but this is still very good. Thank you very much for sharing this with me, mister Marteau, everyone."

"Hahaha! Good lad! I really like you!"

"So, you're really a familiar summoned by a noble yesterday? Siesta's been keeping how she meet you to herself, it seems." speaks up one of the maids.

"Aren't you angry about this?" Marteau asks next, waving a chicken leg. "A noble just makes a gesture, and poof! All of a sudden your whole life changes. Now you're just forced to serve a spoiled brat's whims."

Shinji just shrugs. "It's not all that bad."

"Not bad? That's what you're saying?"

"Um... yes?"

"You don't find anything about your service objectionable? Not even that you're not getting paid?"

Shinji ponders that a bit. He shakes his head. "No, not really."

Marteau leans back and crosses his arms over his chest. "For you to accept this so easily, I don't know what' s been done to you..." and his lips twitch up into a leer. "Or what you're actually doing."

"Huh?"

"You have to follow your lady mistress everywhere, right? Even in her most private places. I wonder, maybe she's making it worth it for you another way, eh? Eh?" He reaches over the table to poke at Shinji. "Being a familiar might be a pleasurable for you, if you know what I mean?"

No. No, he doesn't know what you mean.

"Mister Marteau!" Siesta's uncommonly firm voice breaks through the kitchen. "I will thank you to keep such words to yourself!"

"Oh, what's the harm?" says of the apprentices. "We're just joking around."

"It's all in good fun. You're not angry at us, are you?" Marteau asks Shinji. As the boy shakes his head, the chef adds "See? He's a good boy. We're all friends here."

"Oh you can say it's all in good fun now, but that's because he's a boy. What if the commoner summoned to be familiar was a girl instead?" Siesta replies firmly. "Would you think it so funny then?"

Marteau loses his smile abruptly.

It's like: Oh you've done well following my every order during the day. And now to thank you now that we're all alone in my room, have a nice big helping of rape. These nobles are just assholes enough to do it. The only reason some wouldn't is because it would be undignified to let their noble bits touch filthy commoner ones.

A familiar is less than a commoner, little better than an animal. While a familiar may be the sole responsibility of the master, and may have some protection from the outside due to being a reflection of that mage's power... a familiar has no protection whatsoever from anything his or her master may decide to do.

Shinji, just because you're the type of person not to give a fuck about it, that doesn't mean what's been done to you isn't slavery.

"It's not like that..." Shinji whispers despondently.

"Then how is it?" Siesta asks.

It's difficult to put to words what he understands through the leakage of memories and emotions from master to familiar, and the limited foreknowledge that I provide. He can sense they're unsympathetic to any problems that may plague a noble. "Behind all her bluster, Mistress Louise is just a scared little girl. I believe that I can help her become a better person, who will be able to help others in turn."

Marteau scoffs. "That's foolish. Nobles don't understand gratitude."

Shinji sighs. He tries to change tracks. "It's not like I can void the familiar bond without killing her, and I'm... not a murderer." Yes, I am; he says to himself. No, you're not; and remember what I say. "Trying to antagonize her won't solve anything. Her father's a Duke, you know. I'm pretty sure she'll jump at the chance to get an animal familiar with magic powers, instead of just a mundane servant."

"I see. So by keeping to her good side, you're hoping she'll spend to break the familiar bond? You're going to play to her pride? That's wise of you."

Shinji nods. "Right now I need to earn her trust."

"And be able to sleep peacefully other than in her room, I trust?" Siesta adds in a tight tone.

"Um..."

Shinji's reluctance just makes Marteau laugh again. "The boy knows his priorities! Let's respect that!"

.

.

Louise can barely recognize her familiar next time she sees him again. "Wa-what happened to you?" she asks, trying to keep from looking him in the eyes. What's wrong, Louise? Starting to recognize you summoned a person? A -man-? "Where did you get those clothes?"

"I got dirtied a little bit and the castle servants loaned me these clothes, mistress. I feel kind of obliged to help them around later, if you don't have much need of me?" He just oozes steadiness right now. It's too damn eerie.

"I forbid it! You're -my- familiar, not a servant!"

"It won't take long. Earning the goodwill of the staff here would help me get the basic needs that allow me to live. I'm thankful that you're providing me with food... and... um-" Shinji looks aside embarrassed as Louise too tries not to blush "... shelter. I don't want to be too much a bother."

"Y-you're some kind of a manipulative prick, aren't you?" says Louise, with a pout.

Shinji looks insulted. "Am not!"

Louise smirks. Well, if he were actually any form of master manipulator, he wouldn't be that easy to rile up, right? "Oh, forget it. Come along, familiar. The next class is about to start."

.

.

It's not just all magic all the time being taught in this castle. It's like a finishing school, really. As the last bit of schooling these nobles are required to have, it also teaches them how to properly maneuver around in their society. Because this documentary is about _Ikaricus Inepticus_, and not Helkeginian magic or society, let's just skip most of Louise's classes unless something interesting happens.

Louise is subject to taunts and jeers from her classmates, but it doesn't touch her. She's secure in what she knows, that she's not a total failure as they say.

And so the class ends. It's tea time.

Dun. Dun. Dun. Dunnnn.

"Oh, mistress Louise. This is miss Siesta. She's the one who helped me out earlier."

"Why are you introducing -me- to the hired help, familiar?" Louise asks with a narrow, suspicious look on her face.

Siesta just nods. Servants are supposed to be seen, not heard. That expression is, but carefully restrained, also on Siesta's face. Louise is just oozing noble hauteur, and she's having a hard time finding the scared little girl that Shinji was talking about. Louise looks like someone who'd bully and take advantage of someone just to make herself feel good.

Although at least, Louise doesn't look like some sort of sexual predator?

She doesn't hear Shinji's mumbled response. Louise replies with "What? Just because she lends you clothes you're -that- indebted to her? Don't get too ahead of yourself! Remember who you're really supposed to serve. Remembers whose bed you actually slept in last niieeeeeeeeeeeeh..."

Only too late does Louise realize just what she's saying. "Excuse me?" Siesta squeaks out indignantly.

"N-nothing! None of your business! I said nothing." Louise seems to shrink into herself. "Oh, whatever! Do what you want!" She flees hurriedly.

Oh, well. Poking Louise is just so much fun. She's not that far away, determined to keep a hawk-eye on Siesta and Shinji.

Let's have a look around this place while Shinji works. It's a mix of browns and blacks- the third-year students still seem to be having classes. It's one of the many verandas, with tables both under the shade and out in the lawn. Shinji is carrying a tray of scones. The students just walk on by. Siesta stands beside him, picking up and handing out the treats to save the nobles even the modicum of effort of grabbing them off the tray.

Pretty normal for service staff. This is boring. Why can't we skip this?

Wait. Look at that.

Among the many noble students is a young man with curly blonde hair and an open frilled shirt. How fabulous. Why is the Destiny radar pinging so hard against this poof? This had better not be something about Shinji's bi-curiosity, because not even Kaworu was this fruity.

"Am not!" Shinji mutters.

He's standing surrounded by men. Huh. No, as fabulous as he looks, these don't seem to be admirers. They have that faintly hostile vibe. They look like a pack of wolves. The guy doesn't seem bothered. His expression has that self-important smirk that we've come to expect from these nobles. There's a rose in his chest pocket that he's idly fondling.

"So, Guiche! Who're you going out with now?" he's asked. "Who's your lover, Guiche?"

He puts a finger delicately to his lips. "Go out? I hold no one woman in such special regard. After all, a rose blooms for the pleasure of many."

Okay, he's a moron. Let's go look at something else.

Guiche twirls around, disdainfully putting some distance away from his jealous 'friends' and pulls out a long-stemmed rose from his chest pocket. At he does so, something else follows, sliding down his pants leg to be kicked away. It spins away, comes to a sliding, tinkling stop near Siesta's shoe.

"Oh!" Siesta looks down. She bends down and picks it up. It's a sealed glass philter. She holds it up to the light, showing purple liquid within. "It's perfume." She starts to look around.

"It came from over there." Shinji points towards Guiche.

Siesta nods. What with Guiche's frills and effeminacy, it seems obvious. Still, while obligated to return it, Siesta decides to play it safe.

She walks over and ask with a respectful bow "Pardon me, sirs. But did one of you drop this?"

Guiche turns to look at Siesta, still keeping his carefully bored expression, only for it to tighten on seeing the vial in her hands. He turns away.

Siesta can't just keep the damn thing. It's noble property. She's really scared right now, it's only her ingrained sense of duty that's making her approach these noble... boys. Surely, even you understand. A young unmarried servant girl shouldn't try to attract the notice of idle noble young men.

"It came from this direction." Shinji adds helpfully.

"You _must_ be mistaken." Guiche replies with slightly clenched teeth. He can see the others are starting to get interested. He needs to get rid of the two stupid servants before someone notices and starts asking the wrong questions.

"I see. Well, thank you for your time." says Shinji. "Let's go ask those people over there, miss Siesta."

Panic flashes across Guiche's face. "On second thought, just keep it. I have no need of such a trifle. Perhaps even a wildflower such as you can bloom even more beautifully? Take that perfume as a sign of my esteem and go away and don't mention this to anyone."

"What's this, Guiche?" someone asks tauntingly. "Putting the moves on a commoner maid now? Have you no standards at all?"

"Hmf. The rose that brightens the world does not discriminate on whose lives it makes more wondrous by its presence." He turns to the two servants. "What are you still standing around here for? You've been granted a touch of luxury. Be grateful and _go away_."

Both bow. "T-thank you, sir." Siesta replies with a faint blush, and also a faint grimace. "Forgive us for intruding. We won't bother you anymore."

Siesta backs away hurriedly. She goes over to all but cower against a wall. She looks at the small little glass vial in her hands as if it's a viper. She looks helplessly up at Shinji. "W-what do you think I should do with this? I don't want it."

"You could pawn it off to somebody, maybe?"

"That would make it look like I stole it!" Siesta yelps out. "A noble... he said I should keep it. Is it even really his to give?"

Shinji nods. "I'm very sure, yes." He looks back towards Guiche for a moment. "What's wrong? Don't you like being noticed by that sort of guy?"

"Oh Founder, no." Siesta blanches. She likes her men to at least not be prettier than she is. "I feel like I should drop it into a well and forget about what happened entirely."

I like her. She's sensible. Most of the time, anyway.

Siesta looks pained. "But what if he decides he wants it back? What if... what if... he decides it's worth something in return... ?"

"It's just a little bottle of perfume, isn't it?"

"It's something for nobles! It's bad for a commoner to put on airs." Siesta all but bawls out. "It's his word against mine. Just because he said it in the earshot of other nobles, that doesn't mean he can't just say I stole it. Any of them can say that." She has no hope the Guiche would try to defend his ownership, since giving away valuable things to a commoner maid? How indecent! "Oh, why is this happening to me?"

She's being a little too dramatic, don't you think? The concept of being pressured into wanton acts against her will, it's exciting her a little. She's also rightfully terrified of the prospect. She's an interesting mix of innocence and cynicism.

"I think..." Shinji says carefully. "We need some advice."

.

And so they approach Louise. As a noble child with _extreme _focus on the noble condition, on she should have some insight on the proper forms, right?

"So, are you saying that Guiche never really directly said that the perfume was his?" Louise asks primly, her arms akimbo.

Siesta and Shinji look at each other. "No." they say together.

Louise's left eyebrow twitches. "Give it to me." She looks at the deep purple color of the perfume with suspicion. She takes off the stopper and takes a sniff. Recognition dawns.

She looks up at the servant girl, and how Shinji is still standing close by holding the tray of scones. A smirk flashes across her face. "What should you do with this?" She holds out the vial. "I think you should wear it."

"Eeh? I- couldn't dare!"

"I don't know what Guiche is up to, and I honestly don't care. You might as well get some use out of it. By tomorrow, he's going to forget all about it, but in a while, he might check." She then turns to Shinji. "Hey, you! How long are you going to leave your master alone like this! You need to learn your place too! Just whom do you serve?"

"Huh? I mean, no, not for much longer, please be patient."

I'm beginning to enjoy Louise a little more too. She can be a conniving little witch when she wants to, too. She's staring down Siesta until, intimidated, the maid opens up the phial to daub some of the perfume at the sides of her neck.

"T-thank you for your help." Siesta says to Louise, bowing. She turns to Shinji. "Let's get this over with."

Ordinarily, they'd have been better off just dumping it with the administration to put into some lost-and-found vault or something. Siesta could just try to avoid Guiche for a week or so, if she's that worried. Too late for that now, I suppose. Shinji's trusting Louise's judgement, as the only other person so far that's shown him any decency.

.

And so, back to standing around. No one seems to notice that anything's changed about Siesta. All these nobles are so soaked in their own perfumes anyway, it's a wonder that they can smell anything at all.

All but one. As Siesta passes, a second-year noble with long blonde hair styled in multiple drill curls suddenly pauses in the midst of chatting with her friends. She frowns and looks towards the passing pair. "It can't be."

She turns back to continue talking, then clicks her tongue, in irritation. A mystery like that let go would just bother her later.

Quickly she stalks over to Siesta, and grabs at her shoulder. The maid is pulled around, and she lets out a frightened squeak at being so near yet another noble. A noble girl that seems to be bringing her face far, far too close to her own. Her panic mounts even as a blush starts to appear on her face.

The student holds Siesta in place with both hands on the shoulders, and sniffs. Her delicately, if somewhat generically, pretty face twists into a snarl. "You! I can't mistake this." she hisses. "How can a commoner like you have that scent?"

"Uh- what? I don't understand?"

"Don't play dumb with me? Have you any idea who you're dealing with? I am Montmorency the Fragrance!" She shoves Siesta back, and the maid barely manages to keep her footing. "And I, am called the Fragrance for I create my own unique scents and perfumes. It's impossible for ME to mistake a scent that I made! So how did you get it? You stole it, didn't you, you filthy thief!"

"I didn't! I didn't!" Siesta mumbles, near tears.

"Um. Please stop? Miss Siesta did nothing wrong."

"Nothing wrong? Are you stupid?" Montmorency looks at Shinji and sniffs. "Obviously a commoner would stick up for another. What are you, her accomplice?"

"It was given to her by Guiche, after we found it on the floor and tried to return it."

"You LIE! It's my precious gift to my beloved Guiche! He'd never throw it aside. You thieves! I'll see you both rot for this insult!" Montmorency's voice is loud and drawing attention. Guiche lets out a 'gleep!' of panic.

"Hey, you there! Montmorency the Flood! What do you think you're doing?"

"It's 'the Fragrance', you ignorant twi-" The blond noble girl turns around. "Oh, its you, Louise. You ignorant twit."

"I heard that you used to wet the bed like a flood, didn't you? 'The Flood' suits you better!" she retorts, once again escalating the round of insults as the opening move. "Whatever, you've got no business threatening -my- familiar."

"Your fami... oh. Yes, I had heard Louise the Zero failed again, just getting a commoner in her summoning. Hah! I'd expected better manners even from Louise the Zero. You're protecting thieves now?"

Shinji isn't relieved. He's just only now coming to realize that Louise knew full well this might happen. She'd wanted Siesta to get into trouble, but not really realizing that would drag him down too.

"My familiar isn't a thief!" Louise says proudly. "You've got no case. It's all that dumb Guiche's fault anyway."

"And now you stoop to slander too!"

"... stop it." Shinji whispers.

Siesta is crying. She's hiding behind him. He doesn't even notice. Louise and Montmorency are bickering out loud like yowling cats.

"Hey, we saw that!" one of the boys from earlier exclaims. ""It sounds as if Guiche wanted to get rid of a vial of perfume given to him by Montmorency before it could implicate him for something else."

"For that to fall out of your pocket, then that means Montmorency is the one you're going out with, right?" says another.

"Wa-what are you saying? Listen, I'm saying this for the sake of her reputation, but..."

A loud sob comes from the table behind them. One of the girls, a cute one with chestnut-colored hair stands up shakily. By the color of the cloak she wore, she was a first-year student.

"Guiche..." she murmurs while approaching the other table, and began crying uncontrollably upon stopping. "I knew it, you and Miss Montmorency are..."

"They're misunderstanding. Katie, listen. The only person I hold in my heart is you..."

"All those words you said to me last night, were lies!" She slaps him in the face as hard as she can. "That perfume you dropped from your pocket is more than enough proof! Goodbye!"

Guiche rubs his cheek, seemingly in shock. He turns to look at Montmorency, and shivers at the sheer fury in her expression.

Louise sneers triumphantly. "So there we have it!" She walks over to the frozen Guiche and begins to drag him closer. "Hey, stop struggling! Are you going to deny that Montmorency gave your her private scent?"

Guiche sweats. Katie is already a lost cause. He can't lie with Montmorency looking at him so. "Montmorency. This is a misunderstanding. All I did was accompany her on a long trip to the forests of La Rochelle..."

What. This guy. Of all the things he could have said. He must really like the taste of boot leather.

"Just as I thought! You've been making moves on that first year, haven't you?"

"Please, Montmorency the Fragrance. Don't twist your rose-like face in anger like that. It saddens me to see it!"

Montmorency looks around frantically, grabbing the empty tray that Shinji is still holding, and smacks Guiche flat in the face with it. Whang! Guiche falls flat on his back. "You liar!" She yells and stomps off, totally humiliated.

Suddenly, she stops. She turns around and walks over back to Siesta. "My perfume." she says firmly.

Siesta hurriedly hands it over. "I'm sorry. I didn't really mean to-"

"You still dared to wear a noble's scent. Your employment is this castle is over, I shall see to it."

"But... it's not my fault!" Siesta wails.

"Stop it." Shinji says louder.

"And as for you-"

"You have no right to do anything to my familiar, Montmorency!" says Louise. "His punishment is mine to decide."

"STOP IT!"

Guiche starts to get back to his feet, then pauses just as his fingers leave the floor. Louise halts in the middle of pointing haughtily at Montmorency, her challenging grin freezing on her face. An accidentally dropped spoon hangs in midair.

Shinji clutches at his head and crouches down, curling into almost a fetal position. "Stop it..." he pleads.

People are petty, selfish, quarrelsome creatures. It's about time you were reminded of that.

"Why didn't you stop me? I can't deal with this..."

The non-interference policy isn't for our benefit, but for yours. You're as much to blame for this display. Sometimes a little help can be worse than no help at all. Look around you. Even if you can't be hurt anymore, people around you will always be hurt. We can't do anything. You decide. You move.

Only **you**.

You must have known what Louise intended. Whatever happened to that protective whim of yours, Ikari? Does it only extend to pathetic little girls? She doesn't look so innocent and helpless now, does she? Even a kitten has claws.

"I don't know what to do. Asuka, what should I do?

Do you want Siesta to be out of a job? Do you want Louise or Guiche or Montmorency to get away with their behavior?

"Um... no?"

It looks like you picked up a sense of morality after all. Who gave you the right to decide for others?

Shinji looks pained. If he totally lacked free will, this wouldn't be bothering him. If he's just a slave to Louise's whims, then throwing aside even good people that may have annoyed her, that wouldn't matter. People wouldn't matter. Humans- don't matter. Look at them abusing their power. It's of no consequence.

And you! Look at -you-! What do you really think of them? Are you just amusing yourself with pretending you're human? Making yourself feel good by protecting others, making them happy - are you sure you see them as people, or just pets?

"STOP IT!"

NO! Nothing stops! You tried that already! Everything must move, even you. Are you a man or are you a monster? If you can't deal with just this little squabble, then make everything fall silent again! Cast this whole world down into the dead depths with you!

_Sohryu. Reverse psychology may not be advisable._

Shinji! I married a man! I will bury a monster! Now what are you?

"Asuka..."

No, that's -my- name.

"aha. Ah... ahaha. AHAHAHA."

It's not that funny.

Shinji wipes at his eyes. "Asuka... thank you."

That's what I'm here for, idiot Shinji.

I'll always be here.

Listen. I know you don't believe in yourself. So believe in me. All humans have the power to decide, to impose their will upon the cosmos, and that power is inside you too. Remember who you are. Remember where you came from. I believe that you can live, not just for others, but for yourself too.

So how about it?

"You... really want me to help out miss Siesta?"

Well, duh. I'm not watching over no stupid sociopath or any more a useless emo whiner. Shinji. Stand up and be a man. What does a man do?

"He protects those that he cares for?"

Do you care for these people?

"Um. Yes. Yeah... that's... it's a weird feeling. But I actually do."

Shinji. Impress me.

He smiles and looks up. A short chuckle escapes his lips. Deep. Bassy. Confident. So unlike that boy thrown without training into an Evangelion, to fight and suffer with no will or power of his own.

Look at him, you fools, and tremble! This is -my- **man**.

"Yes, dear."

Shinji stands back up. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He exhales. He opens his eyes again.

A silver spoon drops to the grass, the sun caught in its shine.

.

The truth greatly depends on one's point of view. This is true, but at the same time a blatant lie.

Now, nothing has changed, all the players remain the same. At the same time, they're all different now. Louise and Montmorency, rather than spoiled noble girls bickering over their power to punish, are really butting up their sense of pride against each other. It's Montmorency that feels injured, and Louise is taking glee in rubbing it in. Siesta's still afraid, but it's not just that she's a victim, but that she's weak. She wants to be saved so badly, but in her heart she's already resigned to it. Making a scene to defend herself, that would just make things worse. Guiche, ah. He's still a fool. No, he doesn't have any deep emotional connections, either. Look at this fruitcake. He doesn't have any male friends. All the other students are just enjoying this spectacle, they don't care about how those involved actually feel.

All these humans. How pitiful.

You can also see them as whole bundles of weak points ready to be hit for massive damage.

"Stop it." says Shinji.

Abruptly, the bickering between the two noble girls comes to a halt. They turn around to see Shinji looking at them with a scolding expression. Louise looks particularly puzzled.

"Your arguing is going nowhere, and doesn't deal with that **none of this is miss Siesta's fault**. If someone has to be punished, better it be me."

"That's stupid." scoffs Montmorency. "You're not the one that stole my scent."

"Miss Siesta didn't steal anything. You gave it away. Just because your lover doesn't care about you enough to keep it to himself, that doesn't change that it's no longer your property. No one can steal something you threw away."

Shinji then points to Louise. "Not that my cute little master's all that blameless in this. She's the one that made miss Siesta use it in the first place."

"Hey! I did not! I never said that!"

Shinji just gives her a look that implies _'I can't believe you're saying that'_. Everyone else around him is more inclined to believe him, despite that Louise is actually the one telling the truth. Note how Shinji doesn't even have to make a lie contradicting her statement.

"Miss Siesta had no choice. But this whole thing would never have happened if sir Guiche." and Shinji points to the noble, who smiles weakly at suddenly having all the attention "… wasn't foolish enough to try and chase two skirts at the same time, but even worse- not being competent enough not to make sure they don't know about each other. I mean, really, what sort of moron brags about womanizing - about not being restricted to any one woman - when his women think they're the only in his life?"

They laugh, and Guiche looks around looking lost. This is devastating to him. His popularity with women is precarious, and being humiliated twice over means that he'll have a much harder time trying to woo any other girl.

"How true!" someone says. "If even a commoner can see it, then it's too obvious."

Guiche's mind is a-whirl. He has to say something to recover his reputation. He takes out the rose in his pocket, the stem of which seems to be his wand, and tries to look stylish and nonchalant as he takes a sniff. The stiffness in his demeanor ruins it.

"Guiche..." says Montmorency, her eyes tearing up. "So I mean that little to you, is it?

"Mon-mon, you don't understand..."

"No. I'm not expected to understand. Who cares? I'm nothing to you, someone you just tolerate. It's just an arrangement. What does it matter if I really do love-" Montmorency grips her perfume vial tight until there's a cracking noise. A unique fragrance fills the air. "Well, who wants you anyway!" she cries out. "Not me anymore!"

Montmorency runs off, roughly shouldering those who don't move aside in time.

"Mon-mon..." Guiche actually looks a little forlorn. The people around him just laugh some more. Rather than express any regret, he tries to recover with "Well, it looks like these ladies do not understand the meaning of a rose's existence."

A small, amused snort comes from Shinji. Guiche sharply puts his attention towards the strangely outspoken servant.

"You. Commoner. Your thoughtless words have caused the reputation of two ladies to be damaged. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Ooh. This has potential. Shinji, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

No, wait. That's better. Oh, I love it!

Shinji tilts his head aside and tries to look as if he's thinking deeply. "Um. That trying to model one's life after such a fragile thing is silly?" he says without a hint of sarcasm. "A rose gets its petals pulled, it withers, and it dies. It serves no useful purpose but to be seen and discarded."

"You have the understanding of a boor and the manners of a gutter rat." Guiche points angrily with his rose-tipped wand. "You need a lesson in respect for your betters."

Shinji just nods briefly. He turns to Louise. "Who is this guy, anyway?"

"You filthy, insolent commoner! Know that you're speaking to Guiche de Gramont! You insult me at your peril!"

Shinji just nods at him again. Guiche seethes. That simple tolerant smile on Shinji's face seems all the more insulting than any amount of spoken rudeness.

"I see. Then I, Shinji of the line of Ikari, challenge you, Guiche of the house of Gramont, to a duel. It's not two women whose honor you have besmirched by your inept actions, but _**four**_- that first year girl named Katie, Miss Montmorency, my Mistress Louise, and Miss Siesta."

There are so many ways of resolving this, and _still_ you chose the one that leads to violence. Oh you sweet thing. I so want to give you a biiig hug right now.

'_All for you, Asuka._' Shinji thinks. _'All for you…'_

"What?" Louise screeches. "You can't do that! You can't challenge a noble."

"Um. I rather think I just did?"

"You certainly have no idea of your place, commoner." Guiche hisses out. "You vastly overstep your bounds."

"Oh, yes. I forgot. You are certainly under no obligation to accept, Sir Gramont." Shinji replies gently. "I don't mean to imply that you're not just inept, but a coward as well."

Ouch. Yeah, that's a critical hit. Guiche is so full of cold fury right now, he can barely even think about what he's saying.

"That's it! I have had it! You have to be punished for your insolence! I accept your challenge!"

Approving murmurs return Guiche's declaration. He preens from the now more favorable attention. Where before the commoner's words were amusing, now his outspoken daring is just provoking outrage… and Louise, looking around, quickly realizes that her little prank has gone way out of control.

"You can't touch him, Guiche. He's my familiar. Harm him and you'll have the house of Valliere on your head." Louise interrupts primly. While she herself may not be much good as a mage, her family name still holds a lot of clout.

Guiche smirks and puts the rose over his lips. "It's said that the familiar reflects its master. How sad to see that you have no respect for your station too, Louise. But then you're barely even a mage yourself, aren't you?" he replies with all the nastiness he can muster.

Louise quickly grabs at Shinji's collar to drag him down and press their heads together. "You stupid familiar." she grumbles. "He's right. You're too insolent! You don't know your place!"

Shinji's sad smile doesn't shift. "I'm sorry, my mistress. I don't mean to trouble you, but-"

"But screw that. He's a noble. Do you really think you can win?"

Something old and wild seems to howl behind her familiar's eyes. "Of course, my mistress."

"Then I want you to kick his ass. Do you hear me? Crush him."

Ah, how so predictable. "I hear and obey, my mistress." Louise lets go, and Shinji stands up straight to face Guiche again. "As the challenged, you have the right to dictate the weapons of the duel. I'm sure you'll choose to use your magic?" Shinji carefully looks Guiche up and down. "I'm sure you know how you'll fare in fisticuffs."

Guiche's hands are shaking. He's fighting to keep his cool. He's not really all that good in verbal sparring, since he relies mostly on deflecting and avoiding the taunts of jealous rivals. This is different. He's used to laughing away taunts to his manhood because of his romantic conquests, secure in his looks and the ability to attract ladies. What is doing Shinji is impugning his manhood in terms of being a noble, as a man of any worth. Ladies are not attracted to weaklings, no matter how pretty. At best, they'd be pitying him. He won't be a lover, just someone's little toy; that than vice-versa, as he sees the proper way of things.

I kind of feel sorry for him now. Do we really want to crush even what little confidence he has left?

Haha. What am I saying? Raise hell.

If you ever hope to even protect anyone under your care, first you've got to establish yourself as someone with the will and the power to actually do that. Humans and their dominance games. We're all still animals at heart. Sometimes we need to learn things the hard way.

And these are the nobility. The upper crust. The cream of the crop. The very body of aristocracy. You know…

Morons.

"Then if you'll be using your magic, I'm going to use my own non-magical tools. The field of battle shall be an empty corridor, after classes." He looks thoughtful for a moment, then points. "That one."

"You have no right to set the location, ignorant commoner." Guiche sniffs. Traditionally, it falls to the seconds to do that.

"Then I suppose we'll fight where you're more _comfortable, _sir Gramont. I don't want to make it seem like you're actually afraid to face me anywhere even near fair terms like an honorable man."

"You- arrgh! Fine!" Guiche snarls out. "I almost **can't** wait! You'd better not escape from your own challenge, even if you're an honorless commoner!"

Shinji just smiles and nods again. It takes all of Guiche's self-control not to attack there and then.

The bell rings for the next class.

Louise grabs one of Shinji's wrists and begins to tug him away. "Familiarr… we need to talk." she whispers through grit teeth. Even as he's dragged away though, he reaches out to grasp at one of Siesta's wrists, pulling her hands from her face. The maid is dragged along too, offering little resistance.

.

A little ways away out in the lawn, near a stone wall, Louise faces the two commoners and glares at them. First, she turns to Shinji. "What the hell were you thinking? Challenging a noble like that! Guiche will kill you! You had to keep on antagonizing him! What is wrong with you?"

Shinji just shrugs. "I'm not sure. I guess I just kind of felt like it?"

"Felt like it? You can't just do whatever you want just because you feel like it! Have some consideration for the situation of your master!" Louise stabs at his chest with her finger. "What happened to you? It's like your whole personality changed or something."

"Mistress, we've known each other for less than a full day. Just because I like working for you doesn't mean that I can't be annoyed by other people. I won't run away from my responsibilities, not again…"

"How can you be responsible to this maid? Aaaah! All she did was give you clothes!" Louise then turns to Siesta. "You! What did you do to bewitch my familiar, you wanton woman?"

Shinji sighs. "Mistress, how many times must I say that out of everyone here, it's only miss Siesta who isn't at fault? You can't blame her."

"Hah! Who says I can't?"

"Your conscience." says Shinji, while putting his hands in his pockets and slouching. He looks at from the side. "You decided to get miss Siesta in trouble, for what? Her simply taking my attention off you for little more than thirty minutes? After we both trusted you to tell us how a simple problem may be resolved? I have a responsibility to you too, mistress Louise, and that goes beyond just picking up after you."

"H-how dare such a familiar say such things to its master!"

"A mage is given the familiar she most needs. Out of everything else in the universe, you got me. The one person who can tell you most of all, that power is not power without control."

Yes. We know this now. The berserker's power is hate, not just against its enemy but itself too.

Louise looks down, her expression ashen. "Now you're against me too. I thought you were on my side."

"Who says I'm against you? You're not the mage I'm fighting in a few hours. Really, it's that Guiche person's fault most of all."

"But- but… gaah! You're going to die!"

"No, I won't."

"Stop being so disobedient already! Fine! Maybe sort of I'm partly at fault here. I see that already. Now just apologize to Guiche already and we can all move on with our lives."

"I can't back down from a challenge I've given, mistress. That's why I made it in the first place."

"Yes, you can! You're just a commoner! It's not like you have any honor to lose in the first place!" And, realizing what she'd just said under the disapproving looks the two are giving her, Louise adds "I mean- if you apologize to Guiche, that'll be the end of it. No feuds need be made. Even if he makes you grovel for a while, he can't really harm you."

Shinji shakes his head. "The familiar reflects its master. Somehow I just don't see you as the type to give up that easily."

"Aaah! I'm thinking of your sake, now. All right! I was being short-sighted and selfish. If the maid loses her job, I'll ask father to hire her on. There. Problem solved. By the founder, are you sure all she gave you were clothes? What, is it somehow some sort of mating ritual where you come from? Just how far are you willing to go to protect this maid?"

"I don't know…" Shinji looks to the distance, then shrugs. "Elope with her, I guess?"

"What?" Louise shrieks.

"What?" Siesta eeps.

"Oh, don't worry about being left alone, mistress. We'll just take you with us."

"What. What is this, I don't even. You're crazy. Bugnuts. Become a disgraced noble, having to run all over the place… I'm not demented like you are!"

"There are more nations than just Tristain, mistress. It need not be permanent. It's a wide world out there, and you're young. You've barely even begun to see your own potential. Wherever you may go, it'll be your own legend that people will hear about, they will see you for who you are, not just someone who by chance came out of Karin the Heavy Wind's womb."

"Her mother is the Heavy Wind?" Siesta looks to be near fainting. Too many sudden shocks to the system.

"Oh Founder oh Founder oh Founder…" Louise is muttering to herself, her hands clutching her head. "What did I do to deserve having such a troublesome familiar? Wait." Louise looks up quickly, sundering ire in her eyes. "How do you even know about my mother?"

"Sometimes, I just know these things." Shinji just smiles back at her. Oh, yes, we can feel just how much Louise wants to punch Shinji's stupid face in. Too bad we're not actually mazoku to feed off emotions, it's just so easy to jab at her weak points. They're all still teenagers. Relationships are their common weak point. "Um, I was totally kidding about eloping? Of course that's not what I intend to do."

"Oh praise the saints…" Louise wheezes.

"I just have to win the duel against sir Gramont and then everything will be fine. Just fine."

"Must not… kill… my own familiar before…. Guiche gets a chance to."

Shinji can't help it. He pats her on the head. "Thank you for your concern for my welfare, my cute little mistress, but in this instance please- just trust me. I'm also doing it for you. Please understand."

Louise slaps his hand away. "Stop that! It's you that doesn't understand! Have you ever seen nobles fight with magic? Guiche won't hold back. Stupid familiar! Obey me already!"

"I'm sorry, but you're getting late for your next class. Please, just trust me. I'll show you - and all the people in this castle – that there's more to life than just magic."

'_More than just magic? Not possible!' _Louise screams within her own head. And this day's been going so well! Maybe… just maybe… because she'd been able to cast a spell successfully for the first time, it can get better? Part of her is in despair, surely this is the inevitable shift in luck that she'd been expecting, for fate seems to make sure she is never allowed to be happy for long. And yet, there is that other, often ignored part of her, that child-like part capable of hope and optimism. She has no faith in herself, for all her bluster.

Shinji, do you remember? It's the moment you surrender part of yourself that you're most vulnerable. Relying on others can make you weak. Friends and family are the ones who can hurt you the most.

Louise takes a step back and gives a very put-upon sigh. "Just… try to stay out of trouble until I get back, all right?"

"Thank you, Louise."

What she needs isn't to feel good about herself or her situation. A closed fist like hers, can't offer any help, or be held up in turn. I sure do hope this turns out the way you want it to, Shinji.

Louise leaves, hurrying to get to class.

As soon as she's out of earshot, Siesta says softly "Um. Mister Shinji? It's not that I don't appreciate what you're doing, but... "

"To you too, please don't worry. I'll be just fine."

"I mean, I'm flattered, but, this is just going too far, too fast." Siesta looks away. She wanted a little excitement in her life, but this is just too much. A commoner going up against a noble just can't end any other way but pain and tears, no matter what's said in the trashy romance novels she likes to read.

"Um… I really was just joking about that whole 'eloping with you' thing."

"Um…" Siesta doesn't know what to feel about that. On one hand, it's kind of a relief. On the other hand, it did make her feel good to believe she'd be so desired even to the point of standing up to a noble. Wait… didn't he say something about bringing along Louise? How… would that even work?

"Um…"

Siesta looks away, blushing. "Um…"

Okay, enough with that, you two.

"Miss Siesta?"

"Eek! That's indecent! I mean, huh? What is it?"

"How are you feeling? Are you all right?"

"Oh! Yes, I'm fine. I'm more than fine." Her expression turns troubled again. "I'm sorry. Really, all of this. There's no reason to get into trouble on my account. Please! I'd appreciate it if you did as Mistress Louise said. I'll just get another job. Please don't get yourself hurt just for someone like me."

"Umm… I'm sorry too. It might be a little cruel to say this, but…"

"Oh. Of course. It's not really about me." Siesta bows. "Please forgive my impertinence."

"No, that's not what I meant! Sorry. What I mean to say, is… you were never in any real danger of losing your job in the first place. I'm the one who should apologize for using you as an excuse."

Siesta looks confused. "What do you mean?"

"You never stole anything. We can prove that. You can't be fired just on a student's say-so, it's the staff who actually decides that. Aren't they, as nobles, superior to mere students? Since this is a place to learn how nobles have to act in proper society, they also need to learn they can't get their own way all the time. The school, as an institution, has a grand and distinguished status they have to respect. You're under the school's authority, not theirs- and they can't undermine that. They have no real status of their own, not yet."

Siesta boggles. She hadn't considered that. For all her histrionics, she never once thought about defending herself by appealing to a higher authority. Kind of understandable, I suppose, since she doesn't trust any nobles to oppose their own kind.

Shinji scratches at the back of his head. "Um, I suppose annoyed nobles can still make your life very uncomfortable, but legally? They don't have that right."

"But, then… why did you do it? Why go so far as to challenge a noble?"

Shinji looks to the distance, and feels the wind on his face. What a nice day. "Because… I felt like it."

Siesta puts her hands over her chest, feeling her heart. She's not sure if this is real. "That's it? You're going to fight a noble, you're going to risk getting killed, just because you… feel like doing it?"

Shinji turns to look at her, his expression still that sort of sad, unrepentant serenity. "Is there something wrong?"

"That's…" 'Crazy', is what she wants to say, but Siesta is worried about the wisdom of saying that right now. "You can't just…but you're doing it. That's just… wah."

Insanity. It's like, what sort of person just doesn't give a fuck like that?

"Mister Shinji, please forgive my asking, but… are you really a commoner?"

"I'm not a noble, I don't use magic." Shinji replies evenly. "Please don't give me any of that fake respect."

"But you'll die!"

"No, I won't."

Siesta's face is wracked with frustration. "How can you be so sure? Have you fought a noble before?"

"Not a noble per se… but I'm pretty sure at what I can do, and no one here's ever seen me fight before."

"I don't know what to say." Siesta mumbles. "I just don't know how to keep you from making this mistake…"

People are afraid _for_ you, Shinji, but still aren't going to do anything to save you. Things haven't changed. They're afraid, and it's easier to do nothing. It means nothing. All these little flicker-lives in the void, do they mean anything?

'_I've changed.' _he replies. _'And that means everything.' _

We'll see.

.

.

And so we come to the inevitable confrontation. Shinji's been keeping his mind carefully closed, that even I don't know what he's really planning. We've been keeping ourselves aligned with this time-plane so we get to experience surprise as well.

Still, some of you are asking; why fight at all? What does it serve him to engage in violence? Isn't he supposed to be a pacifist now?

Easy answer: it entertains us. Deeper answer: violence is an inherent part of mankind's psyche, and must be expressed or it will consume us. It can be released safely, and serve a better purpose. Shinji was never, and isn't, a pacifist. He's just too damn scared of being hurt, and in knowing that he's hurt others, he'll be hurting too. He's afraid of people.

He knows he's not a good person. But he can certainly try to change.

He needs this. He needs to stop being so damn afraid. Ironically, Shinji's much better talking with his fists than with his heart. We shall measure the man with his actions, not his words; his deeds, not his intent. He must move forward. And this, the primal conflict, is one more fear he must confront.

Why fight?

Why not?

If he feels like it, then let him!

There's been time enough for the word to get around. There's a big audience from all years. The teachers aren't stopping the duel for some reason. These reasons have to do with the runs on Shinji's hand, but that's not important right now. Even the commoner servants are interested, but they're trying to peek in from outside.

"I must commend you for showing up." Guiche says imperiously. "And I commend you for having managed to choose the ground for this duel. Having it happens indoors, means that I must be careful or I'd hit other people or cause damage to school property. What an example of low cunning."

"If you like him so much, does that mean you're going to show leniency, Guiche?"

"Oh, heavens, no." he points at Shinji with his rose wand. "You might have had an advantage if you were facing a Fire, Wind, or even a Water mage… but unfortunately for you, Guiche de Gramont is an Earth mage!"

At the other end of the hallway, where there's substantially less student spectators, Louise regards her familiar firmly. "Look, you stupid familiar. You don't know what you're dealing with. I can't watch you commit suicide in front of me."

"That goes for me as well." Siesta speaks up. She's holding a frying pan. "I must insist you stand down right now."

"Uh…"

"As we agreed before, please keep him from moving, Mistress Valliere." To Shinji "I promise this will only hurt for a short while."

I like these gals. They're silleh.

Guiche is twitching. He's being nonchalantly ignored again. "What's going on over there?" he shouts across the distance. "Are we going to fight, or what?"

"Now!" Louise tackles Shinji from the side. Siesta swings her frying pan with all her might. SPANG!

"Thank you…" Shinji says honestly, so stupidly happy he can barely keep from crying like the little friendless bitch that he is. Siesta's frying pan is visibly dented from contact with a skull. "But you really should have a lot more faith in us."

He whips out something hard and round from under the frying pan.

"Gyah!" Louise recoils. "What are you doing with that thing again?"

Shinji lowers my skull. It has no lips, but I hope its toothy grin communicates my amusement to these girls. Good job. Harming the idiot to keep him from physical harm sounds counter-intuitive, but at least they tried, right? Nobody else did that before. Of course, now we know that Ayanami would happily have put him into a coma the first time they met, but such is hindsight.

"Ohoho! Your familiar shows a spark in him, little Louise. Why be so envious of that will to shine?"

Louise jerks around, and sees Kirche and Tabitha close by. "Von Zerbst! What are you doing here?"

"Since no one seems to believe your familiar will win, I decided to come by and cheer on my rival for a change. I find it quite inspiring, even. A brief life burns brightly."

Tabitha just nods towards Shinji. "Odds are indeterminate." Shinji shivers again.

"Hey!" Guiche shouts again.

"Excuse me, please. I've got a duel to win." He touches his forehead to my skull, and then politely tips it in their direction, like a derby hat or something.

Even knowing ahead of time how this can end, he's still kind of excited about this. Why not? For a self-proclaimed coward, fighting was the only thing in his life that he was ever any good at.

"So. Are you ready to stop stalling?" Guiche grinds out as Shinji arrives at the designated area. "I'm giving you this one last chance to repent your ways and apologize. Get on your knees, and I'll show you mercy."

"No, with all due respect, I don't think I'll be doing that, sir Gramont."

His extreme politeness just remains all the more irritating. "So be it, then!"

A ragged cheer rises from the crowd as Guiche steps up and gestures with his wand. A petal floats down as if dancing in the air... and in a flash of yellow light transforms into a suit of armor. It's vaguely feminine in shape, formed of some hard greenish metal.

"I am known as Guiche, the Bronze! Behold my bronze golem, my Valkyrie! Prepare yourself!" He jabs forward with his wand. "Attack!"

The golem rushes forward, its lance held straight out. Guiche armed his golem with a blunted tip, at least. Killing the commoner too quickly wouldn't be any fun.

Shinji doesn't move. He seems to fold inward as the lance strikes him full in the gut. Louise screams. He looks up and gives Guiche a disappointed look. He steps back a bit to show that he'd switched his hold on the skull and caught the golem's lance in the cup formed of the hollow braincase. The lance end has crumpled in.

Then, he side-steps, pulling the skull free, and backhands the bronze golem with it. The hard bronze helmet caves inward with a satisfying crunch. The golem falls. He is not impressed. I am not impressed.

"I have no special name…" he says to the sudden silence. "But I'd like to introduce you all to someone whose name means _The River That Carries the Scent of Tomorrow_." He raises my skull high. "And that scent is blood and fire! Sohryu! My beautiful goddess of war!"

Yes! Yees! Yeeees!

Guiche just grits his teeth and sends out more of his bronze golems. Hah! No AT-field to cheat by redefining the terms of the duel. No magic strength reinforcement. No showy superhuman bullshit! Not for something like this. Just instinct born from pain, the hard-won experience!

Shinji leans back from a blow and slams my skull down. Metal gives way, screaming. They all seem to be moving so slowly. The other golem stabs in from the side, and he angles my skull that the lance-tip deflects away. Still holding the skull by the jaw, he pushes forward, slamming it and through the golem's chest.

Using a human skull as a bludgeon has got to be one of the most inefficient improvised weapons ever.

'_Never again, __Asuka. We fight together.'_

You romantic little fool. Go and wreak havoc in my name!

Ahahahaha! Not to yield, not to anything. Nothing in this world can strike with such undeniable force, the purified human will to overcome. He is only as strong as he dares believe.

I believe.

Wham! Golem goes down. WHAM! Golems are thrown aside. Shinji's just walking forward, his steps even and unhindered by being attacked by multiple enemies. Calm. Steady. Patient. Not the hating berserker.

Shinji's not a soldier. His fighting instincts aren't geared like that of normal people. Now that he no longer fears being hurt, a lot of the things that used to make him look like a coward evaporates in the desolation of time. He has nothing to lose, and everything to gain. The instincts that remain tell him in no uncertain terms that he should tower over all other living creatures, that his stride should shake the world, and that he should hurry to destroy his enemy. No. He refuses that.

He compresses those feelings, he puts them into his fist, and fights like a man. A god-beast doesn't know love, or hope, or gratitude. Wham! Puny magic! I revoke your hold over the quantum state! You dare call these Valkryies? They don't even fly! Or transform into GERWALK! Shinji! Crush them all!

They attack. Four of them. Six of them. Eight at once! We know this dance, Shinji. We dodge or we bleed. We move, and we kill. Hold me. Keep your focus. The berserker's power is wasteful. We know better now. It sees nothing beyond itself. You just have to keep moving, looking ahead to the future, and because of that become greater than just yourself.

Guiche looks pale, and is panting with exhaustion. Shinji stops.

"Is that all? Should it be my turn, now?" He turns around, holding his arm and my skull straight out to the fallen remains of Guiche's bronze Valkyries. He flicks his hold on the skull, and the shattered lumps of metal rise into the air. Moving his arm in a circle, the broken pieces come together into one big ball of scrap.

"Is he… using that skull like a wand?" someone gasps.

Keeping our AT-field low-key, I see. What, an impregnable barrier and infinitely sharp edge not impressive enough, for you? Something that looks like transfiguration? Without blatantly using the AT-field? Hmm, well, without having to go into blatantly rewriting the laws that govern the cosmos, let's mess around with electromagnetism. It's kind of impressive that these things really are made out of bronze.

Whump. The uneven mass drops to the floor, and sinks as if the stone floor is liquid. Shinji smiles approvingly. Shape it. Will it. Our memories are clear. When there are no barriers, there are no limits. Within the boundary of our absolute territory, dreams cross over into reality.

A green fin rises from the stone tiles and begins to smoothly circle around him. Very slowly, Shinji turns to Guiche, and points the grinning skull at him. The fin circles around Shinji faster, then curves towards Guiche.

The young nobleman looks in a panic. _'What…__is he an Earth mage too?' _Earth versus Earth usually relies more on subtlety than brute power, because Earth spells tend to focus on indirect attacks.

The fin rises, and a sleek metal beast breaks out of the strangely solid-looking but liquid-behaving surface of the stone floor. It looks like a cross between a stingray and shark, and it open its mouth to show a jaw nearly halfway down its body. Rows of serrated teeth quiver as it shrieks. We know it as a miniature replica of Gaghiel.

"Demon!" someone shouts. Also: "Oh, Founder!", "What is that thing?", "Guiche! Look out!"

The Gaghiel-golem dives back into the floor, showing only its fin again, swiftly swimming through stone towards Guiche. He doesn't look at it, but towards Shinji, still standing there with his sad, tolerant smile. Guiche is paralyzed, that little reptilian brain inside every human sees only the ancient hunter.

Our little construct leaps clear of its shiny patterned 'sea', opening its maw to swallow Guiche whole, to rip and tear the little fool into bloody shreds.

It slams into a wall of actual water, and breaks apart.

We were expecting that to happen. Really, it was just for show.

"Mon… Montmorency?" Guiche gasps, from where he's fallen down on his butt.

Standing in front of him, also breathing heavily from the effort of expending so much willpower at once, Montmorency has her wand out to maintain the water barrier. "I just… you may not like me, but I still don't want you to die." she whispers brokenly.

Shinji pulls his hand back, to idly stroke at the top of my skull like it's a pet cat and he's the latest diabolic mastermind or something. "I see. Interfering with a duel between men. You do realize this makes you a valid target now, right?"

Guiche eyes widen at the words. This 'commoner' is mad. He has no doubt that his opponent would kill on a whim. It's not just the difference in power, his atavistic animal mind is beginning to sense the gaze of a hungry predator.

"No!" Guiche shouts suddenly, rising to his feet. "You stay away from her!"

Then, showing a surprising amount of good sense, he forgoes any flashy Earth spells and goes for the basic levitation charm. Normally another mage would counter it, but Shinji is instantly raised to flail helplessly about in the air.

"Mon-mon, get out of here!"

"I won't!" the blond-haired girl shouts back, shutting her eyes. "I won't leave you to die alone, Guiche. At least give me that much!"

What is it about this place that makes people prone to overblown melodrama? Oh well, even we're not immune to it too, I suppose. Shinji slaps the skull in between his palms, and strong gust of wind shoots through the hallway.

Shinji, imagine a cord from your _Manipura_ chakra, the one in your solar plexus, down to the core of the planet. Now, pull. Never mind that there's no such thing.

He flips about in mid-air, and slams back down to the floor, the stone splintering around his shoes.

Power is power. Even mystical kung-fu bullshit.

_Sohryu. You are providing too much direct assistance. _

I'm just presenting him with the knowledge he should already have. The delusion of being less is as dangerous as the delusion of being more. The truth is what sets us free.

Shinji, look at the fear and awe in their faces. What do you feel?

'_I'm not happy.' _he replies. _'Acting like some sort of bully or bad guy doesn't make me feel good. ' _

Would you prefer worship or adoration for being some sort of 'hero'?

'_No. I'm not here for that.' _He begins to walk forward, the skull held out. The shield of water flashes into steam. Montmorency staggers back, squealing in pain.

"Mon-mon!" Guiche screams.

'_Good. Getting there.' _Shinji thinks. His smile becomes more genuine. "Come, join the red river." he whispers darkly.

Guiche rushes forth, and with his last bit of willpower, conjures another bronze golem. Not to attack Shinji, nor to defend himself, but to hurriedly pick up and carry Montmorency away from the fighting.

Guiche goes "HRAAAAGGHHhhhaaaaaahhh…." as he runs, slowing down, slowly coming to the realization that he's about to try and punch in the face someone who is capable of mangling metal golem with his bare hands. Bare skull. Well, same difference.

"Oh, sir Gramont. So here you are. I wonder what I should do with you?" That Shinji's expression hasn't twitched all through the fight just makes it more terrifying for the young noble. "You came here expecting to brutalize some poor fool, not caring about how mismatched the fight between a noble and a commoner is supposed to be. You were expecting commoners to take the blame for your own misdeeds."

"What are you…?" Guiche hisses. "You… you were just pretending? You're a mage?"

"No. I'm still just a commoner, who has to deal with all the bullshit of the aristocracy." Shinji holds the skull to face him on splayed fingers and says. "To be, or not to be: that is the question-"

**NO****, YOU TOTAL MORON. IT'S ****"****ALAS, POOR YORICK! I KNEW HIM, HORAT- **

Shinji tosses lightly, and like a missile of pure righteous outrage, the shining skull hurtles through the air. The young noble feels as if time is slowing down, he sees the skull's empty eye sockets and imagines it burning from within with ferocious hellfire. Its grin promises an eternity of pain. Closer and closer, growing larger, until it fills his world.

Clonk.

Skull meets skull. The skull bounces off high into the air, twirling gracefully to land back in Shinji's palm. Guiche falls over backwards.

"Guiche!" Montmorency shouts from a distance as the golem carrying her vanishes, Guiche no longer maintaining its existence.

"Familiar!" Louise shouts out in equal horror. "Shinji!"

"Oh, don't worry. He's still alive." Shinji huffs out. He knows now easily he can break this young noble. How easily he may break everything. It terrifies him. "He's not even that badly hurt. For someone who wanted to maim me a lot, isn't that even a little too merciful?"

Guiche groans from the floor. He flinches as he feels a prod at the side of his leg.

"Open your eyes. Stand up and be a man, sir Gramont." As Guiche does so, he sees Shinji bent over him, and nearly wets himself in terror at his proximity to the bare skull that he can almost swear is winking at him with its empty eye sockets. "I think we all learned something very valuable today."

Did we? I'm not sure I like this turn of events. Not nearly enough nobles running around in fear and panic.

Reluctantly, Guiche accepts the hand up, and Shinji helps him back to his feet. "First, a question." Shinji asks gently. "Do you yield?"

Guiche sighs heavily. "Yes. Yes, I yield."

"You didn't run away, even when everything seemed lost. With the last of your strength, you tried, not to save yourself, but someone you cared about. You may have lost your pride, but, I think… you gained something a lot more valuable in return."

Shinji steps back, and Montmorency rushes to hug Guiche. He nods at them, respectfully.

"The arrogant little snot from earlier, he's someone I'd pound into the dirt without a care all day. This man standing before me now, is someone I'd even be glad of calling a friend."

Guiche looks doubtful. "… what? Really?" Montmorency has to support his weight, as suddenly his knees feel all so weak.

Shinji. Beating people down so that they become your friends. Whaat. Shinji, this is not a shounen fighting manga. That's… wait, you men actually think like that? That works? Seriously?

Shinji feels someone hug him from behind as well. "What the hell was thaaaaaaaat?" Louise grinds out, her fingers laced together tightly over his abdomen, her hug getting harder as if she might suplex him or something.

"Um. See? That wasn't so bad." Shinji says gently. "I told you I wouldn't die."

"I'm… happy that you're all right, Mister Shinji." Siesta says a little fearfully. "Thank you very much for coming to my aid." She bows deeply.

"Um, please don't be like that. I'm still just a commoner. I don't use magic at all." His big doe-eyed expression tries to convey _'Really, I'm not an asshole. I hope not?'_

"You liar. Liar. Liar. Liar!" Louise is now pounding over his belly with her cute little fists.

"Ow. Ow!" he moans. "Getting injured more from after the duel, it's really inappropriate, you know!"

You mean, ironic?

.

.

With the classes over and the after-school entertainment done with, there's only dinner. There's a mood of somber speculation, and people are even approaching Louise now looking for answers about her uncommonly powerful familiar. At least no one's been stupid enough to try and taunt her about having summoned a more powerful 'mage' than her.

Louise is willing to let Shinji sit behind her and eat in the main hall, to show off or intimidate the other students from pestering her. He begs off however, preferring to eat with the other commoners, leaving Louise hissing at him "Traitor!" as he flees from all the unwanted attention.

The mood in the kitchen however, is just short of outright hostility.

"It… may be better if you eat somewhere else, mister Shinji." Siesta pleads. She looks helplessly between him, the kitchen staff, and that he's still carrying my skull with him.

Shinji looks unperturbed. "What happened to all that _'you're one of us'_ and _'you're welcome to eat here for free anytime'_ from earlier?"

"That was before we found out you're actually a stinking noble." Chef Marteau replies mulishy, crossing his arms as if daring Shinji to do something.

"Ah. Well, I'm here to hopefully clear up a misunderstanding. I'm really not a noble. What I did wasn't magic at all. Anyone can do that."

"What is it then, witchcraft? Some sort of pact with dark forces?" one of the apprentice cooks spits out. "Heresy!"

"Um… I'm not sure if miss Siesta's told you this, but I'm from really far away. Technically, I _can't_ be a heretic. I'm a _heathen_."

"So what is it, then?" Marteau asks, still mistrustful.

Lie. Lie your ass off. Make it interesting. Making up stupid stories, that's how we passed the time while walking around the Red Earth. The child in my womb, you were practicing for the day she'd be bugging you for them.

"Um. Okay. According to the legend, this is the skull of a dead goddess. Her name means '_The River Which Carries the Scent of Tomorrow'_, and she's a war goddess. She's been in my family for unknown generations." Technically, true. We don't know if my being dead lets it count as one generation, or two. "Her power still remains though, unclaimed, and some people can make use of it while holding her."

Marteau unfolds his arms. "You can't possibly expect us to believe such a story."

"There's no actual proof, it's just the legend. It doesn't grant anybody power. It's a tool that, as far as I can tell, only commoners can use. I'm sure mages can't, because it requires that people have no innate powers in themselves to act as a channel to the outside."

Seeing their resolute faces, Shinji just sighs. With his free hand, he gestures towards a set of ladles on a wall.

"Hey, none of that magic nonsense in my kitchen!"

The ladles arrive to lay themselves out neatly on a nearby table. "Now, miss Siesta, why don't you have a try?"

"What? Me? I-I couldn't!" She shrinks away from the creepy skull.

"Please. Just a little bit?"

Her face scrunched up in fear and disgust, she accepts my skull. She tries to have as little contact with her fingers as possible. With her free hand, she hesitantly points towards the table. Nothing happens.

"You actually have to want something to happen, miss Siesta. Try to pick them up as if you're doing it with your own fingers."

Siesta's fingers curl down, and she lifts her arm a little. One of the ladles floats up into the air, to the excited gasps of everyone. Surprised, her fingers open up, and the soup dipper falls to the floor with a clear clatter.

"Did that really just happen?" she eeps.

Shinji nods. "Please, try again."

The ladle on the floor obediently rises as Siesta wills it so. "This is incredible!" she gushes out. "I can't believe I'm doing this!"

"Hey, hey! Let me have a try!" one of the apprentices excitedly pushes out in front. "You said it would work for any commoner, right?"

Marteau grabs him by the collar and pulls him back. "This skull of yours, are you sure it's not some sort of dark magic? Do you have to pray or offer sacrifices to it, or anything?"

"Eh." Shinji just shrugs. "What would be the point? She's dead."

"Siesta, what does it feel like?" one of the other maids asks. "Are you in pain, or anything?"

Siesta shakes her head. "It feels… like nothing, really. When I'm lifting something, there's the sensation of weight near my fingers, but that's all."

"Come on, let me have a try, already!" whines the apprentice from before. Shinji nods and Siesta hands the skull over. The apprentice excitedly grabs at it, and waves his hand impressively towards the table. He barely manages to nudge over a salt shaker. "Hey! What's wrong with this thing?"

"Oh, did I mention that according to the legend, since she's a dead goddess, her last lingering powers work best with women? Or the bloodline she reportedly blessed with her own essence?" Shinji's smile actually edges towards a smirk. "Come on, if it was that simple for everyone, then it would have been stolen, driven many to excesses, and changed bloodied hands far more through the ages than it's already did."

Meh. I still say the creepy ancient artifact that's nonselective in its usage causes more chaos. Shinji doesn't like horror stories though, but stupidly predictable feel-good hero quests.

Marteau looks troubled. "But if someone else can make it do anywhere even close to what you did… this is trouble. A power only commoners can use? People would kill for this sort of thing." He shakes his head sadly. "What misery have you brought into this castle?"

Shinji flicks his fingers a little bit, and the skull floats over to his hand. "She also lets me read intent, so I'm pretty certain of someone who wants to steal her." Some of the people there try to look completely disinterested. "Really, I'm not sure if my family acted as a guardian for her, or that her presence protects us still. Or, you know, that it's not just some old stories made up to cover a more boring truth."

Yes, the truth is actually far less interesting and far more difficult to explain. Shinji, you're all but making sure my skull ends up getting stolen. Why?

"Um, by any chance, would your name also mean something in your own language?" Siesta asks.

"Huh? Oh, it just means, maybe, _'Anchor of the Still Mind._' It's a pretty common name. Why?"

"Oh, no reason."

.

.

Louise is pacing around after Shinji gave her the standard spiel. She glares at him. "I don't believe you."

Shinji shrugs. "There's really no proof either way, so faith or belief doesn't matter here." He never really got the hang of telling plausible tales because he tends to root them in the things that are actually true.

"And you're just telling me this now? Why didn't you say something earlier! Much earlier! Keeping secrets from you master, that's too suspicious!"

"I do believe that I was called to be your familiar for a reason." Shinji replies with full conviction.

"At that time, you needed more someone who would listen and obey. Now, because of your… um, rashness, you showed that you needed the confidence that your familiar won't be just some mere manservant to be tempted away from your side."

"Familiar, really, you're kind of a jerk sometimes."

"I'm sorry. I really don't mean to…"

Louise stares at him, sitting there looking so contrite and powerless. She shakes her head. She can't trust anymore, how much of that is a mask? She's thrilled, of course, for a familiar does reflect the mage. That he's powerful, what does that imply about her? Not even a cat or a dog, but a commoner that can use what looks like magic. It's the complete refusal of the natural order!

She frowns. "What can you really do? That was transfiguration earlier. Can you manipulate the elements?"

"Um, no. I can only manipulate shape and form, nothing about the basic property of something. So, when I changed the shape of the golems, they remained bronze."

"I saw it swimming! In stone!"

"Um… nothing changed about the stone. It just made holes that closed up as it passed. Or it might be swimming in another dimension. I don't know or control these things, instances just sort of align to make an effect possible." Technically also true. "So when I wanted that's sort of like a shark and scary, that's what happens. It's like making a wish, and the dread dreams of a dead god makes it real. It's unpredictable like that."

Louise grits her teeth. She was to trust his words so much, to feel that her life is starting to turn for the better, but still she can't dare to hope.

Watching him fight, at first she was afraid and ready to jump in to save such a well-mannered if hopelessly deluded commoner at first blood. Then she saw his monstrous power, that relentless savagery, and looking at him now she wonders just how much he's toying with her as he toyed with Guiche. "Familiar! Stand up!"

Shinji snaps up to the ready.

"What are you?" Louise hisses.

"Um. I'm a human."

"Are you sure? Don't lie to me."

"Very, very, um, sure. Me. Human. One hundred percent."

"Stop causing trouble for me. Can you do that?"

"Yes, mistress. I'm sorry, mistress."

"During the class where I transfigured those pebbles into iron, did you do something?"

"Um…"

"Stop lying to me, dammit!"

"I'm sorry."

Smack! That meaty noise reverberates through her room. Louise is in tears, and continues the motion of slapping Shinji to point at the door. "Get out."

"… I just wanted to make you happy." Shinji whispers piteously. He could have just said _'no, I didn't transfigure any damn pebbles_.' That's the truth. He created it out of nothing. But Louise asked if he _'did something'_. Arrgh. Shinji, you still _**suck **_at actually lying.

Louise sniffs, having difficulty breathing from the sheer betrayal she feels. Just as she'd feared- she's really just a zero. Worth nothing. "I'll be happy if I don't see your lying face. Get out!"

"I'm sorry…"

Without any further words, Shinji leaves her room for the cold dark corridor outside. Louise makes sure to lock the door after him.

.

.

I told it would come back to bite you in the ass. Really, you're stupid. If you're going to lie, might as well lie consistently. She's going to try and cry herself to sleep in there, you know. What are you going to do now?

"I'm just going to stay here. I'll wait." Shinji replies, sagging against the wall outside Louise's room. "I really don't mean to hurt her…"

But you're doing it anyway.

"She's so afraid, Asuka. She's so alone." Shinji slumps down until he's sitting with his knees up near his chin. "It's better if she hates me right now. What I did today, was so she could try and make some friends." Leveling the field between her and others, letting her make connections easier, through unpleasant contrast he provides.

So you're just hoping she gets over hating you, like I did? She's afraid, because she has no control over you. You've just proven you're more powerful than her. How is she supposed to trust from a position of inferiority? If she hears that even Siesta can make use of your strange powers, I don't know if that will piss her off or drive her deeper into despair. And now, because of what you did, she can't even trust her own magic when it succeeds.

"I fucked up, Asuka. I fucked up big time."

That you did, idiot Shinji. That you did. Now, the question is, what are you going to do about it?

Shinji chuckles bitterly, smacking the back of his head against the wall. "Louise, even something like this, it won't be enough to make her stop, won't it? As long as she keeps on moving forward, I'll be there to lift her up again when she falters. It doesn't matter if she dislikes me; she needs someone she can count on no matter what."

She needs someone we never got, you mean? This would be much easier if there's a war on. Brutal necessity has a way of simplifying things. All the power in the world won't help, she wants the one thing not even you can give her - to be **normal**, to be accepted, to be a good person by the standards of her society.

Heh. So, what? Changing her society is the simpler option now? Shinji, -you- need her more than she needs you.

Hey. For everything you did today. Just know that we're proud of you.

Shinji says nothing more, curling up into himself to keep out the cold.

So ends the second day.

.

.

end ch4

This is just a test upload. I'm having difficulty viewing the document in 's WYSIWYG editor, so I'm uploading this to repeatedly preview /edit/reupload for the sake of fixing the line breaks. Sorry, if the text looks broken for a while.

I'm not fully satisfied with how the battle turned out, but eh. Merry Christmas.


	5. Ch5: Keep Moving Forward

.

_Sohryu, we are concerned about your tendency to... as the parlance goes … _**_build castles out of lies_**_. Yet you have also said that it is the truth that will free us._

True enough. But people lie. The easiest, the most believable, the prettiest and most comforting explanations are often lies. We need to lie to preserve innocence. We lie to children all the time, for they need practice in believing the little lies to believe in the big ones. Justice. Honor. Mercy. Junk like that.

"_Take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder and sieve it through the finest sieve and then show [Death] one atom of Justice, one molecule of Mercy. And yet-" as it is said "And yet [HUMANS] act as if there is some ideal order in the world , as if there is some…some rightness in the universe by which it may be judged."_

Exactly.

_Yet he needs the trust and friendship of others too. Lies lead to nowhere but ruin._

We're just trying to ease the truth in bit by bit. "I'm kind of sort of maybe a God now" isn't something you can just work into any random conversation, you know.

.

.

**Surrogate of Zero**

Ch5

.

.

In our last Episode, we saw _Ikaricus Inepticus_ be surprisingly… less-inept, for a while at least, until it all went down on his head because of his very poor long-term planning skills.

That was my job when I was alive, Shinji was just brute muscle. Or, not so brute muscle. Shinji, dig a hole. Shinji, open this can. Shinji, sing me a song. Shinji, stop drowning. It's no coincidence that he decided to just stop moving outright when I died.

And now…

Shinji Ikari wakes up to an unfamiliar ceiling. It's all but identical, but he can still see it's not the ceiling of Louise's room. A young girl's face peers at him from the top of his field of vision. She has blue hair. Fight or flight instincts don't apply here. He's frozen in place. For just the tiniest fraction of a second, the planet spins out from under him, and Shinji finds himself crashing off the bed.

"Ow."

Tabitha leans off the edge of the bed. Those were some very fast reflexes, she thinks. She couldn't see how he'd leveraged the push to throw himself off the bed. While it would be a vast overstatement that she's interested, she is curious about Shinji's abilities more than what her duty demands.

All right, clarification for those of you haven't been paying attention. So she looks like Ayanami. So, why would Shinji ever be scared of Ayanami? She's the one who gave him everything. She was the one who handed over the reins of third Impact to one stupid, traumatized boy. Every fight, every pain he's suffered, everything he's ever done, up until that moment, it meant nothing. He was insignificant in the grand scheme of things, just another tool used up and thrown away. His life meant nothing. He was nothing. But Ayanami loved him so much that when he wished for everybody to just die, everybody died. Instrumentality would not be what it is without Ayanami's decision to refuse to be the tool she was literally created to become.

Shinji used to hate and fear and love me in equal measure. So, we could get along as the last two human beings. He's used to being pushed around. I served as his center. But Ayanami…

To her, -**he**- is her center. He doesn't know how to deal with that level of devotion. She makes him feel so unworthy. She's the very personification of his shame and self-loathing, and as much as he wants to go hug her and bawl his eyes out crying "I'm sorry" forever, he's also repelled by the thought of even thinking he's worthy of even approaching her looking for forgiveness. He knows in his heart that Ayanami won't punish him, and that is just unacceptable.

Even when she was giving him the power over Third Impact, he refused her and dragged up Kaworu for comfort instead, that insipid pretty boy who just showed up one day and forced Shinji to kill him. Wow, Shinji. That's kind of low. Just because Rei never said the words 'I love you'.

… there is also the unresolved Oedipal feelings, I suppose.

Yeah.

Shinji, this is Tabitha. Not Rei. You will learn to fear her MORE.

Remember how I kept on comparing Siesta to a shark? Alert, patient, striking all of a sudden and without mercy. Well, this blue-haired little noble? She's like a piranha. If you get in her sights, she's going to gnaw at you until there's nothing left.

"Familiar of Louise." says Tabitha, shifting her sitting position to let her legs hang off the bed. She's also dressed in sheer nightclothes, and like Louise she shows a distressing lack of modesty. Unlike Louise however, there's not a hint of vulnerability in her demeanor. Louise acts like that to show her disdain, this girl just flat-out doesn't give a damn about such social mores. It's like there's a wall around her, that shuts out everyone.

Shinji's brain is in a lockdown. So much like Ayanami, and yet so much unlike her too. Not even Ayanami was this cold. Ayanami's red, inhuman eyes showed such yearning. Tabitha's sadness was similar, and like Ayanami had crossed the line to despair so deep it need not be acknowledged, but there is also an undercurrent of resentment for the world. Of course Shinji's afraid of her. He's looking at someone who doesn't –live-.

Opposite charges attract. Like charges repel.

She looks like Ayanami. But she's so much like him too, that it hurts.

Tabitha reaches for her staff and pokes at him with the pointy end. "Wake up." she orders, even seeing that Shinji has his eyes open.

Shinji blinks and tries to calm down. "Um. Hello?"

Tabitha nods. "Name?"

"Shinji, Shinji Ikari, ma'm. Um, Miss? Mistre-?"

Tabitha just nods again. "Tabitha."

Shinji looks around the room, then to the window. The sky outside is slightly purple. It's daybreak. It doesn't take him that long to figure out what happened. She must have brought him in from the corridor. She must have used levitation, because she's tinier than even Louise and surely she couldn't have dragged him onto the bed without waking him up.

She allowed him to sleep in her bed. Huh. That's surprisingly decent of her. Or, as she refers to it: _efficient_. What are beds for, if not to be slept in?

"Um, Miss Tabitha, thank you. I'm really grateful."

Tabitha raises her gnarled staff a little, dismissing his words for the meaningless platitudes that they are. "Explain."

"Um, what? Explain what?"

Tabitha just looks back with a cold inflexible stare. "Explain."

Shinji gets it. She's not interested in why he was out in the corridor. Obviously, as a noble herself, she's curious about what he did to defeat Guiche. He mulls over the story that he gave Louise and says "No." He smiles weakly. "While I'm thankful for helping me out last night, we've just met. I'm going to have to ask permission from my Mistress first." Too late now for how much he'd been blabbing with the commoners, but meh.

Also because having to explain would mean remaining in her presence and Shinji just so desperately wants to jump out that window right now just to get away.

Tabitha narrows her eyes. She raises her staff slightly, threateningly. "Coercion." she says with toneless insistence.

Shinji raises his eyebrows, a little ironic amusement tainting his fear. Tabitha doesn't miss how the terror in his eyes seems to have diminished.

"Not afraid of magic." she says simply. Tabitha puts aside her staff and stands up. "But afraid…"

She begins to walk over to Shinji, and his shoulders begin to hunch back as he shows he wants to crawl away, but can't. Tabitha kneels beside him. "Of me?" she speaks, too softly, too difficult to ignore.

Shinji's face is scrunched up in raw terror.

Tabitha puts her dainty hands on his shoulders and leans closer. Her brilliant blue eyes show only stubborn interest. "Coercion." she says again.

"… ngyaaaahh…" Shinji squeaks.

.

.

There's a small commotion outside Louise's room. "I know you have something to do with this, von Zerbst!" Louise shouts at Kirche.

"Watch your accusations, Louise the Zero. What makes you think I have anything to do with your missing familiar? Better to ask, what have you done to make your own familiar run away?"

Louise grits her teeth. "No, that can't be. Only you would stoop so low! Your family just can't resist taking anything that's uniquely owned by a Valliere. You're returning to the scene of the crime, to gloat over your handiwork!"

Kirche stares blandly down at Louise. "Louise, did you forget that I live here? That's my room over there."

"Begging your pardon, but for what it's worth…" Siesta speaks out, but softly. "I don't think mister Shinji ran away. He seemed cheerful and content when he left our company last night."

"Your company?" Kirche asks suggestively.

"Us, the servants." Siesta replies firmly. "We had a nice… dinner."

Kirche smirks. Commoners celebrating even a meager victory over the nobles. As a Germanian, she understands and is amused rather than insulted by that sentiment. In Germania, nobility isn't limited merely to the magic-users, but that doesn't mean the nobles aren't jerkwards. It's just that the dickishness is spread out a little more that it doesn't hit the proles too deep all at once

It might be an interesting place to visit, though by Kirche's memories it's a bit backwards both technologically and socially.

Louise pushes past Kirche to kick open her room. "A-ha!" Louise yells, expecting to find a bound and molested Shinji inside. Kirche's room is clean and tidy.

Kirche titters to herself. "Anything else, little Louise?"

"Yeah… I got nothing." Louise sighs. She looks over to Siesta. Louise had demanded the first servant she'd come across to bring Siesta over. While at first the maid was afraid at being summoned, she'd been quite cooperative in searching for Shinji. Louise still hasn't gotten around to really apologizing for yesterday.

Siesta for her part, is seeing Louise in a slightly more forgiving light. Louise's first worry when they were searching together was not that Shinji had run away, but that some noble had decided to take revenge during the night. Louise's muttering about "It's all my fault…" hadn't escaped Siesta's ears, nor the genuine fear and regret in the little pink-haired mage's words.

A door slightly further away opens. It's Tabitha's room. The blue-haired young mage comes out and regards the noisy group with her perennial placid expression.

"Oh, Tabitha, there you are." Kirche greets gently. "I was kind of worried not to see you during breakfast. It's not like you to miss a meal like that."

Shinji gingerly pokes his head out the doorway, sees pink, eeps and quickly goes back in.

"Wait, what was that just now-… ?" Louise hurriedly goes over to Tabitha's room and peeks in. It's empty. Wait. She quickly turns her head to see Shinji pressing himself against the wall next to the door, trying to pretend he's invisible. "Familiaarrrrr…!" she grinds out angrily.

Ahahaha, no. You might want to be invisible right now, stupid Shinji, but a deeper part of you doesn't want to be. Take your punishment like a man.

"I did nothing!" Shinji hurriedly stammers out while he's dragged out the corridor by Louise pinching his left ear. "Owie. Ow. It's not my fault! Nothing happened!"

"What happened?" Siesta asks.

"Nothing happened!"

Kirche looks at him, then to Tabitha. Back to him, then to Tabitha. "A little unorthodox, but I approve." she exclaims with a grin.

"Nothing happened." Tabitha replies with such deep finality.

"Something –must- have happened." Kirche adds.

Tabitha tilts her head aside slightly. "Not that thing."

"That thing?" Louise shrieks while tugging at both of Shinji's ears, sending his head bobbing up and down.

"What thing?" Shinji moans out piteously.

"ANYTHING!"

"Maybe I should do something..." Siesta mumbles. Shinji looks like needs help, but she's alone among three nobles.

Kirche grabs Tabitha in a hug and sweeps her up, rubbing their cheeks together. "My Tabitha-wabitha's starting to bloom! This is amazing!"

"Annoying." the blue-haired girl remarks with a very put-upon sigh.

.

It's a nice coincidence that the day right after the duel is the 'Day of the Void', a holiday. This frees up Shinji and Louise for scolding and interrogation by the school administration, all day if necessary. That's the first business after breakfast.

Seeing as Shinji did miss breakfast, Siesta's been walking around with a big meat bun in her pocket. Shinji gratefully accepts her help, then remembers the reason why he wasn't able to eat breakfast. With a slightly apologetic glance to Siesta, he splits the bun in two and hands half of it to Tabitha.

The blue-haired girl nods her thanks, slowly takes the piece and

NOM

Whoa. That was fast. Now her hand is empty. It's like she never moved at all. Tabitha swallows, and nods once more. She turns and leaves, Kirche following after giving Shinji an amused look-over. Louise just rubs her forehead. She decides it's too early to deal with this. Siesta bows out too, she's got work to do.

Louise looks up at Shinji, at a loss of how she should feel. All her anger had already passed. Without it, she just feels barren and void.

"Mistress…" Shinji begins to apologize again.

"Save it. Let's just go." she turns around dejectedly and walks without looking back towards the Headmaster's office.

.

.

This is Osmond, Headmaster of the Academy. He looks like the typical white-bearded wizard. With him in the office is a very prim-and-proper secretary with long green hair, Miss Longueville, and Captain Baldeale… I mean, Mister Colbert, the teacher who was watching over their holy summoning ritual. The pervy old man pretending to be less competent than he was in his youth, a secretary with her deadly secrets, and a harmless foolish-looking instructor with a dark past – what a trifecta of stock mannerisms.

"Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière…" the Headmaster says while looking over a folder. "Hmm. I remember when your mother was a student here, and your eldest sister as well. Your test scores and classroom work match theirs, but your marks in the practical tests…" Old Osmond looks up. "Zero."

Louise flinches. Shinji's hands clench into fists, then relaxes.

"This is quite the predicament you've brought us, Miss Valliere. Dueling is prohibited. Young sir Gramont has already been reprimanded for his part in this affair. A familiar battling a mage… indirectly, it's still Valliere that casts aspersion on the name of Gramont." says the old man. "The rule is there for a reason, you know. It's not good to form childish grudges that will harm noble relations once the students are out of school."

"I'm deeply sorry, Headmaster Osmond. I'll accept any punishment you give."

"Hm-hmm. Of course you will. But that's not what this about, I'm sure you know." He looks aside towards Colbert. "This young man, is he really a familiar?"

"I witnessed the summoning and the binding of the contract." Colbert replies. "There were no problems. "

"To be sure, let me cast Detect Magic again. Miss Valliere, with your permission?"

Louise nods. Headmaster Osmond raises his wand and mutters something under his breath. Shinji feels a something strange simply sliding off him.

"How can a commoner defeat a mage? Young man, show us your familiar runes."

Shinji sighs and raises his left arm to show the back of his hand. Colbert moves to inspect the runes. "These runes are the same as before. From my research, they're that runes of the legend-"

"What this young man is reported to have done sounds very much like magic." Old Osmond cuts in quickly. "And yet, we can confirm that he has no magical power at all. Miss Valliere, do you understand the unfortunate implications of this? There are those who would say that you have been trafficking in dark powers."

"Does it have to be Dark, though?" Shinji says. "Why can't it be gray, or green, or something not quite bright but not quite but not dark either. A neutral power."

"That sounds like heresy, so while I'm willing to accept the possibility I'm afraid that won't convince the inquisitors."

"I'm a _heathen_." Shinji replies with odd cheer.

"From the report, you fought with Gramont and did your… not-magic… with some sort of device." Miss Longueville says, trying to keep a cooly disinterested tone. "Did you bring this device with you?"

Shinji brings out my skull out of the improvised cloth sling that Siesta made out of some old shirts last night. The teachers aren't put off by seeing someone handle a human skull so easily. Headmaster Osmond casts Detect Magic again. He gestures for the others to do so too.

"This, it isn't magical either." Old Osmond says, and he closes his eyes and smiles in a grandfatherly manner. In the brief moment as his eyes narrow shut though, there's a glimmer of cold cunning that peeks through. This is one of the few Square-class mages in existence, Shinji. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to meet the man who sired your bastard of a father?

"Hmm. Interesting. It seems I can't transfigure it. Or lift it with levitation for that matter."

Miss Longueville waves her wand to confirm. "You mean, it's not affected by magic at all? That's… fascinating."

"Yes, fascinating." Colbert agrees, in part because he's genuinely fascinated and also because the quite pretty Miss Longueville said so.

"I believe explanations are in order. Tell us, who are you really?" Old Osmond says to Shinji, still with that friendly expression on his face. "What is this thing? Where did you get it? "

Louise pokes Shinji in his side, causing him to fold over. He's ticklish there. "You better speak up, no lies. I'm warning you…"

"Ah. Yes, mistress." Shinji rubs absently at his ribs while regarding the three adult nobles. "Um. Before that, might I at least know who you are?"

"Oho. How impolite of me." the Headmaster replies while tugging thoughtfully at his beard. He's thinking about old legends of demons and how can take power over Names. "I am known as Osmond the Epic Beard-"

"That is in NO way your Runic Name." Miss Longueville speaks up dryly.

"But are you sure?" Osmond replies while stroking his beard. "Do you deny the epicness of this beard, Miss Longueville?"

"Uhh..."

"Do you DOUBT the beard?"

The secretary just sighs and rubs at her temples. "Whatever." she sighs. "We might as well call someone here the Shining Bald." she mutters under her breath.

"... so cruel." Colbert whimpers softly.

"This is my secretary, Miss Longueville, and this is one of the teachers of this School, Jean Colbert, the Shining – I mean, the Flame Snake."

Only Colbert gets anywhere near a full name. It's strange, don't you think? Maybe the bald professor did something to annoy the headmaster, and why he's put out like a goat on stake to bait a tiger. Or maybe he didn't do anything at all, and Osmond just chooses to risk the boring bald guy over the pretty gal.

Quite logical.

"All right. My name is Shinji. Shinji Ikari… and I come from someplace very far away. I'm sure it's not even in any of your maps." He takes a deep breath an puts his thoughts into order. "The land I come from is known as Nihon, and there we have no such thing as nobles or magic. We're not strangers to the concept of nobility, but it's mostly awarded for military service to the Emperor. Some time ago, we lost a great war, and our Emperor was stripped of most of his power and the nobility was shattered. The ones who conquered us had no nobles, but a vast and powerful army formed of citizens and a government that is elected into being."

Truth. Other than compressing three hundred years of history into a single jumbled sentence, but what the hell.

Louise blinks. "Huh. Is that why you don't like being compared to nobles? Do you blame them for losing the war? Or…" here the pink-haired girl flicks her hair back in a contemplative gesture. "have you been taught to despise nobles?"

"No, while the nobility itself was dismantled, mistress, it's the same old people still in power. I dislike anyone who forces other people to fight pointless wars."

"But you said your father's a mercenary."

"I kind of... understated... what he does. While he's tasked by the government to protect a city, he also has unlimited authority within that city. The closest fit in your words, I think, would be Governor-General?"

"But then, that would make you nobility! Uh… if your people were allowed to have nobles, that is."

"Mistress, just because I'm his only son doesn't mean that I –like- the 'family business', or that he's EVER treated me nicely in his life!" Shinji taps the top of my skull. "He sent me away, and then called me back, and made me do things that hurt so many people!" He's snarling now and Louise flinches in fear. Seeing this, Shinji draws back morosely. "I don't like war…" he whispers.

Louise sniffs. "Liking or not liking it has nothing to do with duty."

"Miss Valliere, perhaps we can leave that discussion for later." Old Osmond chides gently. "Mister Ikari, you still have to explain the device you hold in your hand."

Shinji just sighs. "All right. This… is no device. It wasn't made by anyone. We're not entirely sure where it came from."

Again, truth. I died before the actual event of Third Impact, and then returned with a new body after it. Then I died again, this time leaving bones. So, was it my original body that was torn apart and eaten, miraculously remade after Impact, or was it formed from the homogenous soup of LCL that's all that remained of higher-order life on Earth? It's also a valid point to say, there is no true body for a human. Our cells die and are replaced, all the molecules of our body are changed, we are always uncertain but are also always ourselves.

"But there is a legend behind it. It's ancient even by the standards of the land from where I came from." Of course it's ancient 'by the standards' of an atemporal society. Post-Impact standards are pretty damn weak. "This is _Sohryu, Langley Asuka_." He pronounces it _Sohhr-yu, L'anglih Azukah_. Hey, you bitches. Roll for SAN loss already. "_She Who Carries the Scent of Tomorrow_. A Goddess of War, Fire, and the Sun."

"… yeah. I still don't believe it." Louise interrupts despite what the Headmaster said earlier. "I could believe it if you said it's a Saint, but a War Goddess? Really? What sort of goddess leaves behind a skull? It just looks human. How can you even be sure if that's really from a woman at all?"

Shinji just smiles a bit. "There are some signs."

"Be that as it may, what powers does this skull actually have? Can anyone other than you control its powers?" Miss Longueville asks.

"Oh, anyone can perform some tricks while holding it. Levitating stuff, healing faster, better luck, that sort of thing. If it's evil, it wouldn't be so helpful. History shows" starting a few days ago "that it's only people's greed for it that causes suffering - never its powers."

"But you can do more than that?" Colbert asks excitedly.

"I don't do –_magic_-…" Shinji replies. "But what magic does and what Sohryu grants might as well be the same. I don't control the powers of this skull. I… well, you could say I get to make a wish, and the dreams of a dead god leak out into reality. I'm never quite sure what will happen, but at least it won't harm me directly."

"And if others were to try and make a wish?" Colbert continues.

"True access even to a dead goddess's power isn't just for anyone. A woman in deep trouble may be saved from her predicament without even having to verbalize what she wants, but selfish wishes are often granted in a way that instantly punishes the offender. Even among my family, only really one is chosen in every generation to fully open her power. Those who fail, die. There's no hint of who gets to be that person. It used to be that" A lie. "dozens to even hundreds of people would be forced to try, but it turns out that maybe trying such a method displeases Sohryu, since all of them die. All those who forced them to do it? They also die. That caused a kingdom to fall in one day, once."

He so totally stole that out of one of my stories. The Monkey Paw style of story is only of the oldest tales to tickle the human mind. We do so love the irony of _'be careful what you wish for, you might get it'_.

"I see. With that sort of legend, it's understandable to think it may be divinely inspired in nature." says Colbert.

"So how did you come to have this honor?" Miss Longueville asks next.

"My father made me do it." says Shinji. "Obviously."

"Did your father know you'd be able to do it?" Louise asks, hoping not to hear what she's already expecting.

"Of course not. Nobody knows. I'm his only son, and I never knew about what his work really was until he sent for me."

_'That slightly explains why he hates his father so much.'_ "But… that makes no sense!" Louise protests. "He must have known something. Why would he risk that?"

"Um. Well, in his defense, there was no one else. Even he didn't dare try, because who would lead the defenses of the city after him? I was expendable. The city… it was under attack at the time." Shinji smiles slightly and lifts his skull. "How am I so confident that this is the skull of a goddess and not a demon? Because we were fighting the debased siblings of the monsters that killed her in the first place."

"Bullshit." says Louise.

"I have proof." Shinji replies evenly. "This is my proof."

"It's a damn skull. So what if it does Triangle-class magic? That doesn't prove anything!"

"Haven't you ever heard, knowledge is power?" Shinji places the skull in the center of Old Osmond's wooden desk. "And memory… is knowledge." He slightly bows to each of the nobles in turn and rests a finger on the back of skull. "Please. Touch it. Um. I'm very confident that this is likely not going to kill you."

"Familiarr…"

"Just try not make a thought that starts with 'I wish…' or maybe you should say ahead of time 'I make no promises or demands of the dead'. It's easier this way than having to find the words to tell you."

Louise huffs. "Fine. I …" she mutters half-heartedly while reaching over. Reluctantly, the adults there copy her. Excellent. Just like we planned. Places, everybody.

Showtime.

.

.

_**Sachiel screams.**_

_.**  
**_

And the streets erupt in fire.

Instrumentality is not a wish-granting machine, though it can seem like it. Each person may be given paradise, and yet within that perfect world is also pain, and anguish, and uncertainty, and fear. And because of that, there is the chance for happiness, joy, triumph, and meaning. We are human beings. Isn't it strange? Freed from the limits of flesh and time, free to live past the death of even this universe, we are God incarnate, able create young universes of our own. We can create them with such authenticity, that, perhaps, in some small blue ball somewhere in that imagined cosmos, a shattered boy bathes the world in blood and breaks open the barrier between beings, between the firmaments separating the dream from the dreamer.

We are Humanity. We are our stories.

_._

_**Sachiel roars.**_

_****__._

And the geofront trembles. Down below, a boy (a girl) meets his(her) father for the first time in so many years. Gendo Ikari is a dark and distant man, still wearing his orange glasses. He stares down with his gloved hands are in his pockets. The gleam of his armored breastplate is blood-red under the emergency lights.

_****__._

_**Sachiel is in a rage.**_

_****__._

This monstrous hulking creature is still terrible but no longer quite so unknowable. It understands it role in this farce, a being that is both us and not-us.

Ah. And here comes the star of the show. The actor and yet spectator. The many yet who are one.

Sachiel turns around.

Do you see? In its blank gaze there is no appreciation for the might of nations. The power within is that which the shatters the heavens. Its two malformed heads glitter with disdain.

_****__._

_**Sachiel knows you are there.**_

_****__._

And fire slashes past. You can see it somehow, so thick and intense, raw star-stuff, that flows like liquid in distorted time. Buildings shatter behind you. A mountainside is blown apart. The night is conquered.

Do you hear it? It's not just beam of destructive power. It is a litany of hatred, a curse upon the universe. The concept of 'defeat' does not exist to a being such as Sachiel. To a being such as you. Victory is to live. Every moment more clawed out from the cosmos. As it screams past, you wonder; might it not be sweeter to die?

Fear touches you. You feel great, and powerful, and yet so weak. Why? You fall down, and the ground shakes beneath you. You see a tree. It is so tiny. Weakly you reach out to touch it with your finger. The trunk tips over at even the weakest of nudges.

_****__._

_**Sachiel lifts you up.**_

_****__._

You feel the power in its grip, with how easily with one black clawed hand its hauls up your weight. It is a giant, and you are a giant, but this is not how giants behave. It looks at you, seemingly puzzled. You can feel its disbelief. Its grip tightens.

_No, Shinji (Louise)! It's not your arm! Keep your head!_

You turn your head up slightly to see Sachiel's black clawed hand clenching around the pale pink of your arm, the golden bangles around your wrist hanging loose over its grip. With just the slightest movement, Sachiel snaps your arm. You hear the crunch, not understanding what has just happened, and then the realization arrives. Your sluggish blood and nerves awaken to the injury.

You scream.

Your feet flail out, but you fail to keep your footing. You fall again, flat on your face. You curl around in impotent shock.

_****__._

_**Sachiel is dissatisfied.**_

_****__._

It grabs you by the head and lifts you up again. It adjusts its grip to hold you by the face. Its elbow bulges out, a spike of hard, red-hot glowing bone emerges. A hollow opens up through the ball of its wrist.

Wham!

The bone spur jackhammers straight into your right eye. Your vision explodes in a shower of colors and pain. And yet-

Wham! The soft watery tissue of your eyeball deforms inward. You feel the violent pressure of each hit, and yet each time your eyeball rebounds. The pain is unimaginable. You can feel the water in your eye heating up, holding the transferred temperature of that heated spur of bone.

Until, finally, as it feels like your eyeball's been squished flat, as the bone spur draws back relieving the pressure- your eye bursts. Surprisingly, there's no pain. There's only this soothing relief as the strain goes away. But all too soon, with all full force, Sachiel's bone spur drives deep through the empty eye socket and to the thin bone beneath.

Wham. Wham! The spike drives deep into your brain! Your vision goes out. Wham! You feel it going through, breaking out of the back of your head. You can hear the squelching noise as the bloodied spike slides back in and then out.

Your senses grow cold. You hang limp. You can feel the icy touch of the wind through the opening in your head. It's a… unique… sensation.

_****__._

_**Sachiel looks at you. **_

_****__._

And from within its blank, eyeless eyesockets come fire, and force, and fury.

You are flying clear across the oddly wide street, the energy leaking from the blast shattering the blocky buildings around you. Stone splinter, metal melts. The edges of your intricately ornamented fighting robe bursts into flame.

You slam to a stop, and that the building behind you has crumbled inwards is the only thing keeping you somewhat upright. The pain. Oh, the pain! Your blood spurts out of the two holes in your head at high pressure, painting the drab gray of the walls and streets around you such a pretty shade of red.

_It's unresponsive! We don't know if he's (she's) alive or dead in there! All the pulses are flowing backwards!_

The pain!

It is -_glorious!_-

You can feel your blood dripping like a river down your right cheek, and in slick rivulets through your long hair and down your neck. You loll your head up, and see a blurry, shaky dark shape at the end of the street.

You remember now.

It is the Enemy.

It is here to cleanse the world of life, and remake it to suit itself. Even demons want to preserve the balance between heaven, hell, and the mortal world. Even in the most cursed realms of existence, it is still life, bountiful and precious. The conflict gives you meaning. But this-! It is an abomination beyond time, beyond terror. It cares nothing for gods and men. It doesn't comprehend the glory of war, its organized misery, the anguish of the fallen.

_****__._

_**Sachiel is ready.**_

_****__._

Pain is your fuel. Hatred is your fire. This is not a human body. Not anymore.

You push off the pavement and soar.

_Berserker._

The wind whistles through the hole going straight through your brain. You throw yourself through the distance and spin with unearthly grace in mid-air. Your feet clad in soft-soled sandals slam into Sachiel's shoulder in asmooth double-axe kick. Its hunched powerful mass just deforms under your slim ankles. Now, it's the monster's turn to kiss the ground.

You land softly, hunched over, breathing heavily, your teeth bared in glee. You lick your lips, the coppery taste of your own blood making you feel hungry. Your fingers twitch repeatedly, and through the haze of exultant rage you dimly remember. This has happened before. It must know what happened the last time.

_****__._

_**Sachiel looks up and expresses defiance.**_

_****__._

The flash of hell-fires sweep over you, and you laugh. For you are fire. You are happiest when you're devouring yourself to light up the world.

Ghunf! You are forced back as Sachiel charges forward, grappling and holding you by the abdomen. You smile. You can see your blood spattering the exposed white ridges of bone on its back. You grab at the riblike protrusions, with your left hand for the right arm is still broken, to steady yourself and drive your knee up. Wham!

Again! You strike up with your knee at the bird-like bone masks that is Sachiel's face, until you actually feel its masks crack inwards. With one last powerful drive, you manage to hit this giant with enough force to send it reeling up to its feet. Sachiel staggers back, numb.

_****__._

_**Sachiel is afraid.**_

_****__._

And you relish it. You reach to make it -_hurt- _some more, to eat its fear some more, and your hand is stopped by a glowing barrier of concentric red hexagons.

_As long as the AT-field is up, it is untouchable!_

Puny thing! Miserable thing! How dare it even attempt to bar your way with the light of its pathetic broken soul! In your anger you punch out with your right arm, and begin to batter against the barrier.

_The arm has regenerated! It- she's spreading her own Absolute Territory and eroding the enemy's!_

You shine! You burn. You rip. You tear. You bleed. You conquer!

The barrier breaks apart under your hands. Sachiel lifts its arms up protectively, and you reach out to grab its wrists. Both wrists, at once, the girth of its muscles flattening under your grip. You look at the contrast between your well-formed hand, with slim fingers ending in manicured nails, and the dark clawed hands of your enemy. It is physically more imposing than you.

But more powerful than you? Hah!

You twist your wrist, and its arm break apart in a shower of purple blood, folding about like ribbons. Sachiel screams again, in pain and terror.

_****__._

_**Sachiel tries to flee.**_

_****__._

It blasts you again, but less to harm you than to blow itself away from you. Its arms are ripped free from its shoulders, but it doesn't care. It slides back across the street. You snarl.

No! It won't escape again! The mistake will not be repeated!

You pounce, fingers out like claws, and force it down. The ground shakes from the impact of your knees caving in its chest. There, now exposed, is the red sphere, the core of its being that allows it to exist. You can pull the flesh of this abomination all day, and it won't die. It can't die. But if you break its core- you can make it go away. It's not allowed to exist. Not here. Not anymore.

Sachiel is giving out weak, pathetic screeches. You punch at it repeatedly to make it shut up. Its masks crack, its body jerks with every malice-filled strike, until finally it goes limp and silent. Still not enough to sate your bloodlust. You look at your own fist and notice just how very blunt it is. It's satisfying to beat your enemy, but it's not enough.

You reach down and grab one of Sachiel's ribs. With ease you snap it right off, tearing off some of the strange leathery black skin that holds together this creature's innards. Then, holding the pointed piece of bone with both hands, you begin to stab down against the large red sphere.

Kill. Murder. Destroy.

This thing! It tries to escape your reach. Never again! Die! DIE!

The core cracks.

_****__._

_**Sachiel dies.**_

_****__._

The abomination wraps itself around you. It dies in a conflagration, hoping to take you with it. You burn. Your skin peels off you. Your garments turn to ash. The hot flash spreads out, cracking the sky and scouring the earth. High above you a white cloud in the shape of a mushroom begins to bloom.

And you laugh and laugh and laugh.

Around you there is nothing but ashes and devastation. You stand up. You feel woozy, and almost trip over nothing. Slowly you come to realize what's strange. You raise your left hand to the thick bulging growth over the right half of your face, and the massive pustule bursts under your fingernail. You blink, even as slick liquid pours down your cheek. Your eye has regenerated. You reach back to feel solid bone at the back of your head, though your hair is still matted with blood. You look up at the moon, that bright white dead disk. So the covenant still holds, eh? You feel the brush of the cold night air over your breasts and flick your long red hair back.

Hmf. Those puny humans had better have some new robes as an offering. While it would be simple enough to will new garments into existence, that would defeat the whole point of a Goddess walking the mortal world. The little creatures serve. You are made to slay things that threaten the world. Such is the Law.

Why bother? That is their skill. Surprising you with their monkey creativity is practically the only reason you even bother to respond. Why…

Why… are you so sleepy?

Why… do you feel so small all of a sudden?

_Shinji(Louise)! Can you hear me? Are you all right?_

The curtain closes.

.

.

Consciousness returns to the normal flow of time.

"Oh founder oh founder oh founder... " Louise falls to her knees, hugging herself and shaking uncontrollably. She's fighting for breath, and rubbing her arms in a futile attempt to warm up her bones. As she stares numbly down at the wooden floor of the Headmaster's Office, she notices a red speck. It is soon joined by another red spatter.

Shakily Louise reaches to feel the cool sensation over her right cheek, and finds blood staining her fingertips. She takes a deep breath and raises her head to let out a mighty scream.

Only the tiniest "... _eeeeee!_" escapes her lips.

Dammit. Even her terror is so moe. This strong-willed but very vulnerable little girl, I feel like pushing her down repeatedly just to see her struggling to get up again after every time.

Only Shinji looks unaffected. Everyone else has red bloodstains trailing down from their right eyes. Miss Longueville hurriedly feels under her glasses, checking the skin of her under-eyelid. There's no wound, there's no pain, but then where did the blood come from? She reaches in her sensible coat for a handkerchief, only to have a clean folded piece all but shoved into her face.

As she accepts the handkerchief she sees that Colbert is nonchalantly wiping at his face with another piece of cloth. She wonder briefly if the teacher, with his painfully obvious interest is walking around with pairs of handkerchiefs just on the off chance he'd get to offer one to her, or if he's the type to walk around with _several_ pairs just in case. She can't decide which is more pathetic.

Colbert is lost in his own memories. Blood and ashes. He doesn't need the memories of a war-goddess to dig up the horror of knowing what cooked human flesh smells like.

Old Osmond is staring off into space, the edges of his beard curling up slightly in places. A small white mouse scampers up the white beard to stand facing Osmond's nose. This is Motsognir, the headmaster's familiar. It raises one of its paws, and as hard as it can with its tiny little paw, slaps Old Osmond on the nose. Then on the other side of the nose with its other paw.

As that predictably has no effect, the white mouse cutely crosses its arms and huffs aside in frustration. It rears up and bites down on Osmond's bulbous nose.

The slight but still painful sting brings the old man back to his senses. "Twins they were!" he bursts out, as if waking up suddenly.

Motsognir lightly scrambles back down to the table, its task done. Old Osmond looks around, blinking. Until his gaze falls on Shinji. "Ah." With unperturbed ease, he leans back on his chair and reaches for his pipe. He takes a few puffs and seems relaxed but thoughtful.

"A most extraodinary mental projection, young man." he says after a short while. "Most interesting... and extremely heretical."

"Wa-wa-what was that?" Louise shrieks out at last. The nausea and the urge to vomit has faded, but the memory of what she'd felt still remains. A part of her aches for it, to feel such purity of emotion again.

She remembers briefly the feel of the enemy's helpless form under her fingers, slick and leathery, and her fingernails penetrate its skin. Beneath the rubbery covering, it's just warm and spongy, almost as if it's nothing more than a toy stuffed with cotton, were it not for the purple blood that's pumping out around her digits and making her grip more slippery. She remembers tearing free a great chunk of flesh, and its tortured cry is the best sound in the world.

Louise gulps down bile rising in her throat. Her cheeks puff up as she tries to keep from vomiting.

The memory is fading, for even while experiencing it there was as if a wall that still numbed and separated her from the brutal legend, but at its passing everything around her seems so small and so fake.

"That is how gods fight, mistress. A dim memory from a world that has long since moved on." Shinji replies cooly. Adressing Osmond, he says "Sohryu is no theological threat, sir. After all, she's -_dead_-."

"Are you sure about that?" the old man counters, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"It's the _truth_."

Old Osmond sighs and put aside his pipe. He laces his fingers together and brings both palms under his nose. Shinji is somewhat amused by this pose.

_'Can it really be that simple?' _Miss Longueville thinks, while flexing her fingers to compare her puny mortal senses with what she'd just experienced. She decides to wipe Old Osmond's face for him, not missing how the old man deliberately leans into her. She throws the bloody handkerchief to the table and steps back.

As a woman, even one with her own reasons to hate and the capacity to make others quiver in fear, she hadn't thought it possible to be a being sustained only by fury. It was an incredible feeling, to care for nothing but violence and domination. Such raw savagery and power, such sickering yet enthralling temptation.

But it all could still be some very complex illusion.

But to what point? Why go all that far and just deny that it means anything?

Because it would amuse us. Really- these nobles. They want to deny it, but they also want to believe it. Power, different from theirs, if it's not a lie than it can be used or claimed to set them apart from other mages. Always looking for the deep angle. They're looking at Shinji, wondering about what he really wants, measuring his words and his demeanor. Is it really that hard to believe he already has everything he may want?

Old Osmond gives Colbert a meaningful glance, and the teacher's stance shifts slightly. His right hand drifts down to his side, not too close to his wand.

"This is not a decision I make lightly, but such an artifact... it presents a danger to the students and this school. Even if there are no more duels, just its presence will attract all sorts of unwholesome attention." Old Osmond says carefully. "For everyone's safety, I must insist that you turn over your artifact."

Ah, the hypocrisy of it. It's not unexpected, though.

Shinji shakes his head. "Would you remove the claws from a cat or the wings from a butterfly? I'm the familiar of Louise... and this skull is part of what makes me suitable to be her familiar. The wands your students carry are no less dangerous."

He's afraid, Shinji, of something he doesn't understand. Wands are a known quantity. For him to accept that my skull -_may_- indeed by from a goddess, it would shake up the foundation of his entire belief system. You're a threat to the peace of this world, as if that hasn't been obvious before, but now there's a readily apparent reason for it. There is no justice here, just expediency. Sometimes, that's good enough for some people.

"With all due respect headmaster, you can't do that!" Louise hurriedly adds. "My familiar's property is no one else's business but mine." She has a weird, but powerful familiar. One that's causing her trouble, and is disobedient in his own way, but at least he's not rude or incompetent. Without his creepy skull, he'd just be any boring regular commoner.

"I see. Would you be willing to risk expulsion just to keep the artifact in your familiar's hand, Miss Valliere?"

Louise's breath sticks in her throat. To be kicked out from school for refusing to follow its authority- oh founder, her mother would (all but) kill her! She'd be a laughingstock, and everyone would spread vile rumors about why she'd throw away her noble station just for a mere commoner.

And yet, through this fear she doesn't hesitate. "If this school encourages such greed and unjust abuse of power, then I wouldn't want to learn what it teaches." she says softly but firmly.

Louise juts her jaw out proudly. In her mind, Shinji is her vassal. As he serves her to the best of his meager abilities, so she feels that it's a noble's obligation to protect those lesser to the best of her own admittedly meager abilities.

I still kind of want to push her down just to see her expression in confusion and betrayal. Fufufu. Poke her until she cries, and then hug her.

Shinji groans, in memory of the pokery he's suffered.

Hah. He doth protest being poked and poking back in turn a bit too much, don't you think?

Old Osmond smiles. "Very good. Please be assured, Miss Valliere, that I have no intention of stealing your familiar's possession." His face grows serious. "However, I am serious. This is more to protect your familiar." He nods at Shinji and says "Young man, your duel with Guiche de Gramont is surely the topic of letters sent by witnesses to their friends and family. It is of great importance that at this time, both of you, _don't attract any more attention_."

"What do you mean, sir?" Shinji asks. "That someone else might demand Sohryu?"

"In the Academy's vaults are items and artifacts of terrible power. A ranking noble may demand it from Miss Valliere, but not from the safety of the vault, since that is its purpose. To keep dangerous objects in, and away from the meddling of fools."

Miss Longueville perks up, interested. "Really? I thought you said it was just mostly junk that you've accumulated during your rumored adventurer days, sir?"

"This Academy has been here for a long time, Miss Longueville, and even it has its secrets to protect. I have seen great and terrible things, Miss Longueville, things that must never see the light of day again. Even the Palace knows that I'd rather destroy them than have them be used again, not that they have any idea of what exactly it is that I keep." He unlaces his fingers and claps, his palms together under his nose in a praying gesture. "For good reason. If I don't want to speak, they don't bother to ask anymore."

Louise looks impressed.

Shinji just shrugs. "Your help is appreciated, sir, but I'm not afraid. She still has some sentimental value to me."

"... you're still referring to it as 'she' and 'her', and all the while continuing to insist she is dead, that's just too suspicious." Louise remarks blandly.

"What? I don't understand what you mean, Mistress. She is -dead-. Wouldn't I be better off just saying she's -alive- if that's what I'm implying?"

"Ahem. Let me put it this way, then, young man. In this school, the students carry wands to study and apply their magic. Why do you need to keep such a valuable artifact close by? Seeing it will just tempt young idiots to try and prove their superiority. Any more fights will be dealt with severely, and then they'd just have to find another outlet for their antagonism." He picks up his pipe again and points at Louise. "No student-owned strongbox can ever be as secure as the Vault. Why do you want to subject yourself to the worry of it being stolen?

Not to mention that earlier, you said that it is potentially deadly. I cannot in good conscience just allow it to fall into the wrong hands. That would be very irresponsible of me and you."

Shinji bows slightly. The Headmaster is being reasonable. Refusing would just make him look mistrustful and possessive, understandable but still in poor form.

The real question is, which does Shinji value more here? The esteem of his magical mistress? Or my displeasre at him looking like he's disrespecting my memory.

Okay, Shinji, to be honest- I don't really care. That skull- it's not me. It's just a heap of calcium to me. It's pointless to show such respect to it, it's not like you need it just to have me hanging around. Throw it away, give it to someone else, I don't give a damn. Move the fuck on, dumbass.

It's time-locked anyway. It's not like you can ever really lose the stupid thing. You don't -need- it for anything. I am Asuka Langley-Sohryu, I am my own memory- not a pale reflection of a object. Shinji! I will not play second fiddle to, uh, myself.

Besides... we're mostly restricting ourselves to your limited awareness. We've decided that it can extend your awareness when it's not with you at all. Were you already aware of this on some level?

For you, _everything_ is a metaphor. It can't be any other way. Have you decided what that thing symbolizes yet?

.

_Sohryu._

Oh, what is it now? Do you have a complaint?

_No, in fact we have arrived at a new consensus. It is healthier for Ikari-kun not to rely on sentimental reminders or small convenient powers at will. He must value himself and his living loved ones more than mere objects._

Didn't I just finish saying that?

_Yes, but this is in regards to his changing mental state. He may choose to cling to his painful past, or experience life vicariously through Louise La Valliere. He has the right to change himself, he lives, and we who are dead can only ponder our sins. Will it help his growth to radically alter his personality or his environment all at once? Imagine, for comparison, if the roles are reversed. What if it is Ikari-kun's skull that seems to provide your special powers? What would you be doing?_

Huh. I guess I'd be taking every chance to show up these brats. Why walk when I can float anywhere? Who needs a bed? Hell, who needs roofs and walls? I'd be warm from sleeping on a cushion made out of _**fire**_. I'd probably turn the skull over as an ever-filling grail, because if I'm not allowed to murder the fuck out of these assholes and bitches when they piss me off, I'd rather be drunk. Like, ALL THE TIME.

_Ikari-kun is here to reconnect with his humanity, not to gather supplicants and depose their silent pantheon. Although if that is his will, then let it be done._

Hah! You're just itching to come out and smite the unbelievers aint'cha? You've got the hair for it, sister.

.

"Mistress Louise...?" Shinji asks neutrally. "Should I?"

Louise shrugs. "Personally I feel the headmaster's right. But we'll deal with it if you want to keep that thing around."

Shinji grits his teeth and looks down, not speaking for a long while. He would rather stab himself in the heart over and over again, letting himself bleed out, and then doing it over and over again when he wakes up - our pointless little clings to his pitiful painful past with a grip that could crumble mountains.

But sometimes, it takes greater strength to let go. The festering wound won't heal if it's not cleaned and allowed to close over.

We saw his strength before. And now, he takes one small step further into the future.

"In that case, I'm willing to surrender Sohryu to the Academy's keeping." he says, his tone now firm and unyielding. "But after classes, please let me have her to protect and help Mistress Louise with her magic. I'm afraid I also must insist on another condition to ensure I get it back."

"Help me with my magic?" Louise interjects, still not daring to hope. "How?"

"Um. Z-axis targeting?"

"... what?"

Old Osmond puffs on his pipe and notes the relaxed, friendly interplay between the mage and her familiar. He's actually very surprised that Shinji's giving in this quickly. "You don't feel I can be trusted, young man?"

"Do you even -want- me to trust you, mysterious perverted old man?"

"Familiar!" Louise gasps. "Don't disrespect the headmaster."

Old Osmond merely chuckles. "Oh, all right. Say your condition, and I'll see what I can do. You wish some sort of collateral for it, I trust?"

Shinji nods. "Miss Longueville-"

"Unacceptable!" Osmond thunders, surprising everyone. "I applaud your courage, young man, but you start the bargaining far too high."

Everyone there unamusedly stares him down. The old man just leans back, completely unashamed.

"... Miss Longueville should only be the one to handle Sohryu. She's safe from just randomly contracting a case of -death-. No offense, but " glancing from her to Old Osmond then back again "... you look like a woman with a grudge. This skull isn't really as dangerous as I made it sound at first, there's usually a ritual involved, but better be sure."

The Headmaster looks aside. "Well, Miss Longueville, do you agree to this? I won't insist, it may be dangerous anyway."

"I have no problem with it." Inwardly she's delighted. Out of the blue, someone just negotiated for her to have a weekly if not daily free run at the vault.

She smirks slightly. This good fortune, it might even be called... miraculous.

.

.

It's a brisk cloudless day. Shinji pauses for a moment after leaving the Headmaster's office to look outside and feel the brush of the high winds. So much green, so much blue, he almost feels unclean from just seeing such an innocent living world.

Louise stands by another window, resting her elbows on the windowsill, and basks in the warmth of the sun. Seeing his solemn expression, Louise asks "How are you feeling?"

"About Sohryu not being at hand whenever I want?" Shinji raises his hand and looks at his empty palm. "Weird, but... liberating. It's kind of scary to be powerless again, but it also feels _wonderful_."

It's called the flawed human condition.

Louise nods. She can sympathize, but only to the extent before having to acknowledge out loud her own lack of talent in magic. "Was it really that much of a burden to you?"

"Other people forced it on me at first, but in the end it was my own decision not to run away." he replies gently.

Louise clicks her tongue. He's weak: that's what the rule of steel is telling her. As expected from a commoner, not able to handle the weight and responsibilities of power. And yet, she almost feel lighter herself, just from seeing him standing erect and at peace. By what she'd seen and felt just recently, her familiar may be even more unique and special than she is. To be a powerful mage is all she'd dreamed of becoming, but her familiar's exotic experiences isn't something that anyone in Halkeginia can claim. She envies so many people, and she'd be damned if her own familiar is allowed to show her up! This is a train of thought that's starting to depress her, and forcefully Louise changes her train of thought.

"This might be a problem."

"Hm?"

"Just because they're not allowed to challenge you to a duel, that doesn't mean the others who saw you humiliate Guiche won't want to show you up. If they see you're helpless now..." she says, hinting that without her protection he's still nothing in this land. Whatever happened out there, that doesn't matter anymore.

Shinji lets out a strange barking laugh.

"What, you're not afraid?" Louise asks with a frown. "What can you do without that thing?" Although, she's starting to remember now that he has been in a war, a conduit to the power a dead pagan god. A soldier-familiar for the daughter of the peerless soldier-mage, how appropriate. She's excited to know, what stories of glorious battle could he tell! "Uh... do I have to order you not to hurt anyone?"

Shinji shakes his head, a thin smile on his face. "If it's just me, I can avoid them. But they might want to hurt me through you, and I don't know how I'll deal with that."

Louise licks her lips, wondering why such simple words could make her heart speed up. Looking him over, Louise decides he really doesn't look in any way like a warrior. Having impressive muscles isn't necessary for magic-users though. Relying on that thing, she wonders in how many other ways it has stunted him. He looks like he can't fight his way out of a paper bag.

She sighs. "You're always causing me problems."

"I'm sorry."

"Something has to be done that would make them thing you're not to be messed with." His clothes are a nice fit, but only emphasizing his lack of physical prowess. Louise hmms. Armor wouldn't be of use. Better something that would hint that he's quick and deadly. But not something that makes it look like he's a ruffian or highwayman.

Of course! A sword. A dignified weapon. Something short and stabby, or thin and slicey, maybe with a basket hilt.

She nods to herself. "It's the day of Void anyway. I've got the time." She turns around. "Come along, familiar. We've got some shopping to do."

Instantly the back of his brain, like most men, seizes up in panic and despair at the word -_shopping-_. What tortures await him today?

.

.


	6. Ch6: Now With Sword

_._

_Sohryu, we are concerned about how you're treating your task as if it is Shinji Ikari: The Spin-off Game: Divinity Maker: The RPG. _

I can smell your jealousy from over here, you know. I get to be his goddess of war. You're just unlucky that your skull is far too big to carry around. But go ahead, what do you want this time?

_If you we are to live in a lie, then we must place coherent limits on the powers provided by your relic. The difference between fiction and reality, it is said, that fiction has to -make sense-. Hence: Shinji Ikari: the Rulebook._

Lemme see that. This is a d6 system, you realize this?

_Sumerian numerology. Thou art a manifestation of Ishtar._

Meh. It's an old archetype. Ishtar, Athena, Kali, Andraste, whatever. Ohh. Looks like at least you're not deluded enough to claim you're an expy of Aphrodite or Hera.

_**L'anghli Suryuu**_, goddess of war and the sun, signified by blood and ashes. _**Aya'ih-inam'ih**_, goddess of rebirth and the moon, signified by water and bones. And then in between _**Ih-kar'ih**_, god of death and the earth, signified by foggy mountains and mirrors. Nice job on the repeated ~'ih sound, hints that you two are actually related.

... but just because gods tend to be incestous fucks doesn't mean you're going to get anywhere now, Wonder Girl.

_Our time has passed, Red Devil, we have loved and lost. Like him, we can only experience life again vicariously. Our only delight now is in the freedom to... as they say ... troll people._

Keep working on the fluff, and get back to me on this.

_Understood._

.

.

**Surrogate of Zero **

ch6

.

.

In our last episode, we saw Ikaricus Inepticus provide select specimens of the Helkegenian noble population a glimpse into his counter-factual past. He has surrendered the skull of Sohryu for safekeeping. Since we have agreed that the skull itself may provide as if an extra 'camera', let's focus for a while on who has it now.

This is Miss Longueville. She has green hair. I'll comment no more on how weird colors these people have because it'll be repetitive and it's probably just some magic bullshit anyway. She's very pretty, very proper, she exudes that feeling that she's a cold woman just waiting for the right man to warm her up. That's got to get no end of idiots just waiting to be twisted around her little finger.

Now why would someone like that willingly endure daily sexual harassment, as Old Osmond had never been reluctant about peeping at her panties or fondling her bottom at every opportunity. That he doesn't retaliate when she finally gets pissed off and try to strangle him doesn't sound enough. What intelligent woman would do this, if she's not into things like that?

There's got to be more to it than just her salary.

Old Osmond may like acting like the senile old lech, but surely he knows this too.

And so Miss Longueville sticks around, playing the part of a dutiful secretary, knowing full well that she's got only one chance at what she wants.

With Old Osmond's keys, she opens the vault. "What a sight..." she says with a smirk. As she'd expected, it doesn't look like a treasure trove. It's more like an old attic full of forgotten junk. "I could get almost hundred _ecu_ if I put these things on the flea market."

The ambient dust shows stark sunbeams through heavily barred windows, providing scattered illumination inside. While there are some shiny baubles here and there, the vault contains things that seemed to have no real value. Old swords, old shields and armor, mirrors with faded silver gilt, small mountains of books and scrolls, and some oddly proportioned furniture - to the right buyers these could be worth thousands, even hundreds of thousands in gold _ecu_.

"Look at this trash. The power of the ages, wasted. Just like nobility itself..." she murmurs, and holds up my skull. She's careful not to touch it directly, but holding it hanging on a silk harness. "To think you'd be just one more pitiful trinket in this heap. Such a waste."

She looks around, trying to pick out which among the strange objects and antiques would be most valuable. She laughs after a while, realizing that the most valuable thing in there just might be what she's already holding in her hands. It's just too bad that it's worthless to nobles... to magic-users like her.

"I'm not sure if you're really all that you're said you are, but even I feel this would be disrespectful. Wouldn't you rather smite this school a few times? No?" Miss Longueville spins the rope a bit. "Too bad. The nobles don't know what to do with their power except to abuse it, it would do them a lot of good to learn what it feels to be powerless, like the ruined lives they leave in their wake.

You can just rest here for a while then, oh dead goddess, until it's time for these nobles to once again in tremble in fear, at the mere mention of the name... _Fouquet!"_

Lady, you're monologuing. To a skull. In the middle of a treasure room. You can't possibly hit the 'I wish to be a plot-relevant villain' button any harder.

.

.

Let's check back on Shinji. He and Louise are now walking down Tristain's city streets, having deposited their campus-owned horses at the stables by the city gates. He's hunched over slightly, rubbing at the small of his back. It's been an uncomfortable two-hour ride from the Academy de Tristain to the capital city, named Tristain. And the country is named Tristania.

Imaginative bunch, these people. We've looked at the map of Helkeginia, and Tristania is a little bit around Switzerland and Belgium. Too many damn hills and winding roads. Of course, with our deliberately limited awareness, we don't know why the British Isles and the Iberian peninsula are missing, but that's unimportant for now.

"Honestly, you really haven't you been on a horse before? I know you're supposed to be a commoner and all, but that's... so bizaare." Louise says as she slaps at his elbow to get him to stand up straight and look somewhat dignified.

"Honestly, no. I've never really had to go someplace too far for me to walk, and if it was necessary transportation has always been provided for me."

Louise nods. Of course, for while he's not a noble per se he's supposed to be the heir to a military command. Since he's so young and presumably too valuable with his... relic, they wouldn't have risked him going off alone. He looks the same age as her though, so probably he was being trained as an aide-de-camp for a while.

Louise sweeps her arm proudly. "Don't get too used to me bringing you here. This is Tristain! It's worth the ride, isn't?"

Shinji winces slightly. The streets are cobblestones, the buildings are browstone at best, most of them timber and plaster. It's so distinctively European, yes, but more like what you'd find in Disneyland. Vendors are out on the street, selling fruits and cooked meat, while most shops have colored panes of glass. Huh, that's anachronistic, really this is the theme park medieval. At least the streets are clean and don't smell of horse poop. They even have some glass-covered lamp-posts.

If the buildings just weren't so small, at best three stories and made of timber, we can almost pretend it's on the verge of the Industrial period.

The streets are crowded with shoppers and workers walking and porters running. "Why are the streets so narrow?" he asks, trying to pull in his senses from feeling the crush of souls.

"What do you mean narrow? This is one of the widest streets as it is. You should see it when it isn't the Day of the Void and the horses are allowed to pass here." As they walk, they pass a porter carrying large sacks of grain on his shoulders.

.

Ayanami, take a note: money-making scheme number twenty-three: tricycles.

_Why not bicycles?_

Less problem with balance, this street doesn't look like it's good for speed. But a tricycle with seating for two would be compact, silent, and non-polluting. Make it with big wheels and thick frames, and bling. Nobles now wouldn't even be bothered to walk across two blocks if they can help it, while it's quick and short enough not to have to get a bulkier, pricier, noisier coach with its smelly horse.

Also, while horse-drawn carriages might be faster, it would -feel- faster to be going along close to the ground. We might have to figure out some springs to reduce the bumping, but fuck it. Metal frames have got to be cheaper than feeding a horse every day.

_Aren't you worried this might lead to more human exploitation, like man-pulled richshaws?_

Ordinarily, but paid work is still good work. Commoners with nothing more than their muscles to serve as their investment get to profit more out of nobles' laziness and sense of self-entitlement.

Then to make it easier, we might introduce concrete and paved roads. We could also reduce the need for a very skilled blacksmith just to forge and shape the parts for the bicycles- and there's the assembly line. Which means we get to employ more people. Then look into the transport business between towns.

_Noted. Power is power. Wealth is power. Influence is also power. In this manner, Shinji-kun may control the streets._

It's just too bad he doesn't have any damn ambition, isn't it?

.

"This is a main street?" Shinji asks doubtfully.

Louise nods. ""Bourdonné Street, Tristain's widest avenue. The palace is straight ahead." Louise points to the large white structure in the distance. "You're saying you consider this nothing more than a side-street? Hah! Like I'd believe your homeland has better, if you don't even have magic for it."

"We may not have magic, Mistress, but we're not barbarians." Shinji replies and holds his left hand up, palm in and thumb and index finger extended, as if measuring the width of the street. "There's barely any room here for a rifle line."

He puts down his hand and shrugs. "Although the city of Hakone was built new and designed to serve as military center, so I suppose I can't say anything about different approaches to urban planning."

"... your people have muskets?"

Shinij blinks. "We have no magic, why -wouldn't- we have rifles?" It's more surprising to him that these people even have guns at all, instead of magic infinite ammo repeating crossbows or something.

"But, alchemy! However do you manage to safely work firestone?" Louise pauses suddenly and decides abruptly that Shinji's land doesn't process firestone safely. "Huh. I guess without mages to blast holes in battle lines, I guess you can get away with stupid tactics."

Shinji just sighs. "Whatever you say, Mistress."

Louise frowns at him. He looks far too bored. He could at least be grateful! She's doing all this for his benefit, after all. "Hey, keep your head up! Be alert! Dont forget, you -are- looking after my wallet, aren't you?"

Shinji nods and pats the bulge in the black suit. It's messing with his sense of balance. These people are using electrum as the their currency- gold and silver. Presumably because it's much, much harder for anyone to counterfeit, considering that any wand-waved can just mess with the periodic table at will.

"Safe." Shinji replies. "No one will be stealing this. I wonder how a pickpocket is even supposed to carry off so conspicous a weight?"

Louise sneers. "Magic." Magic. Of course. "With magic, it can be done in just in a second, and floating away faster than you can run."

"That doesn't quite fit with the profile of only nobles being able to use magic, though."

Not all those who used magic are nobles, Louise explains. They could be disowned or leave his or her family name of one's own accord, dropping in status to become a mercenary or criminal. Sometimes there are children of unknown parentage, and they best they could hope for is to be fostered by someone of noble lineage. There are -no- magic-using commoners. It is a very simple split.

"At least commoners can take comfort in knowing their place in society." she says with finality. "Nobles are nobles, and only nobles have any honor to lose. To be a disgraced noble is the worst thing. In Tristain, one in every ten person is a noble, and it is they who make sure the fields are refreshed, that the rains come on time, and bring out wealth from the earth - truly it is a great service that so few do to serve society."

Shinji nods to show he's listening. Ten percent of the population being nobility is a surprisingly huge segment compared to the peasantry. He wonders if it's the same among the larger nations, because he at least knows that Tristain is the smallest among the nations in this bizarro-Europe.

But eh, whatever it is about the demographics, a wizard (mage) did it.

"Where is it... I know it's around here somewhere..." Louise mutters. "Ew." she from a stinking heap of trash just left lying along the side of a building. "It should be near Peyman's Potion Shop."

"Mistress, I realize we're looking for a blacksmith, but surely there are ones more accessible to the public."

"Well, yeah, but... even a noble must know how to manage her finances. There's a reason why nobles don't come here too often."

Shinji bows slightly. It takes a lot for a noble to admit to being poor, he understands. Louise may not be scraping for ecu per se, but a student's stipend only goes so far. "Didn't we pass a guard recruiting station? Um... do they also semi-randomly hand out bounties for slaying monsters?"

"No, because that's what the enlisted guards are for!" Louise replied curtly.

Too bad. I'm fairly certain that if Shinji punches a random hostile just hard enough, he might get the universe to pony up some random drops.

Louise sees a bronze sign and happily cries out, "Ah! Found it!" Brazenly she walks up the stone steps and enters the shop, the little bronze chime ringing loud as she shoves open the door.

Despite the bright sunlight outside, the interior is dim and seedy. Walls and shelves display a disorganized mix of weapons, shields, and dull pieces of armor. A rotund man with a pencil moustache and mouselike front teeth, idly smoking a pipe, eyes the newcomers with suspicion. His eyes widen on seeing the pentagram on Louise's cloak clasp.

"My lady!" the arms merchant greets them loudly. "My noble lady! All of my wares here are genuine and reasonably priced! There's nothing criminal going on here!"

Shinji blinks. "That was... a rather specific denial."

Louise ignores it. "I'm here for a sword."

The merchant rubs his palms. "Oh, that's good. Very good. At your service my lady...!" and in a lower voice "A noble buying a sword. That's strange."

"Oh? How so?"

Stammering at his indiscretion, the arms dealer replies quicky "Well, priests wave sacred staffs, soldiers wave swords, and nobles wave wands. Isn't that the rule?"

"That's not actually true." Louise says aside to Shinji. "There are certain mages who can focus their magic through a sword as easily as they can a wand. I know for sure that Her Majesty's Mage Guard can do it. And so can my father." she ads proudly. Then, turning back to the merchant "But I'm not going to be using it. My familiar is." with a gesture towards Shinji.

"Ahh, a familiar that can use a sword, huh?" The shopkeeper speaks in a lively and faintly insinuating voice, and looks at Shinji. "Would that be this 'gentleman' over there?"

Shinji meanwhile is looking dubiously at the assortment of weapons. Being only slightly taller than Louise, this makes most weapons unwieldy. There are a few shields there, and thinks about the Roman style, then discards the thought. He feels he'd end up having the urge to wear green or wear a pointed foolscap.

It's bad enough that he has someone floating around him going "Hey! Listen!"

"Yes. I'm not too knowledgeable about swords, so show me something that's reasonable." Louise says.

Ugh. And there goes the hope that Louise actually know what the hell she's doing here.

The shopkeeper turns and walks into the storeroom just behind his shop, silently muttering to himself about how he much he may raise his prices at such an obviously ignorant duo. He comes out with a long sword with a relatively thin blade, a pointed tip, and had a cuplike hand guard on the short handle. He gives it to Louise, who easily holds it with just one hand.

"Nobles seem to like to let their servants bear swords lately..." the merchant comments idly. "The last one who came here picked this type."

No, if a noble had come by to buy a sword, you wouldn't have been surprised to see another one show up to buy another sword. I despise incompetent liars.

Louise takes a few practice swings. It is light enough for even her to carry. _'Could anyone do any damage with such a flimsy-looking thing?' _she ponders. It looks like it would break against any form of armor. "Is that the trend?"

"Oh, yes. There's been an increase of thievery lately. Some mage thief is going around stealing valuables, and that's why the nobles are arming their servants."

That's actually the truth, the rumor, as far as this shopkeeper knows.

"That's a dueling sword, Mistress Louise." Shinji says neutrally as he stands beside her. "It might catch too much... attention." Turning his notice towards the shopkeeper, he asks "Do you have something like a large butcher's knife, with a thicker than normal blade, and weighed towards the point so that it's balanced for throwing?"

Shinji's grown to really like knives during our days after impact. Big machetes are good for splitting open coconuts and prying open locked doors, but too long a blade and it interferes with finer work like opening cans or chopping up ingredients. A short thick blade would be less likely to snap. He found a butcher's knife that's as close to perfect for anything. He used it for almost everything. He'd tie a rope to it and throw it and pretend he's Batman or something climbing up a wall.

When its edge finally dulled beyond recovery he ended up having to carry around three knives of different lengths and shapes just because he felt inadequate as a man without it.

... what? I'm his wife, not his psychologist. He might be compensating for something, but he's got A LOT of things and traumas to compensate for. He's kind of just average for his age.

"This is a weapons shop, I'm not a blacksmith." the arms dealer cooly replies. "If you want to throw something, throwing knives are smaller. Kitchen knives are useless for that." He scoffs inwardly. Ignoramuses. Well, as long as they had money.

"I don't like it." Louise said, giving back the sword. "Don't you have anything heavier or longer? Something more... impressive looking."

"My lady, please forgive my bluntness – swords and people have compatibilities, just like men and women. As I look at it, this sword fits my noble lady's familiar very well."

"Didn't I say I want something bigger and broader?" said Louise, impatiently glaring at him. Louise understands Shinji's point about a dueling sword. He needs to look like he's going to end a fight decisively, not mince around looking for weak points.

"I really believe you're underestimating the usefulness of knives here." Shinji speaks out. Kunai are characteristic as ninja weapons because in their time period, they were common farming tools. Now kitchen knives are ubiquitous, and nobody expects them to be dangerous. They're also cheap and disposable, if Shinji were the type to consider a weapon that won't link him to the scene of a crime.

"Shut up!" Louise shouts at her familiar. Defeating enemies with kitchen implements? Honestly! That's not the proper way to do things. "The longer the sword, the better! Don't talk to me about knives anymore! You have to be bigger than that!"

"Are we even talking about swords anymore...?" the merchant whispers under his breath.

"I actually have no idea." Shinji replies in the same low tone.

The shopkeer goes to the back again, mumbling something about laymen. After a while, he comes out with a splendid gleaming broadsword. Its blade has a mirror-like finish, and anyone seeing it would say that is has an absurdly sharp and broad blade. Its hilt is intricately decorated with gold, and the vine-like gilting extends up through the middle of the blade, leading to a gold-capped tip.

"This is the best thing I have. Rather than say it's for nobles, it's more like something nobles wish they can wear on their waists... but that's something reserved for very tall and strong men. If not, wearing it on the back isn't half bad."

Shinji just sighs. "Let's just go, please. We're not getting anything useful here."

Louise oohs over the blade. "It certainly does look impressive. How much?"

"Mistress, that sword is bigger than either of us. It's useless."

He's being ignored. Now he knows how I feel.

"Well, it's made by the famous Germanian alchemist Lord Shupei. It can cut through metal like butter because of the magic infused in it! See this inscription here?" The shopkeeper proudly points at the words on the handle. "You can't get this cheaper anywhere else. It will go for three thousand new gold coins."

"What? You can buy a holiday home with a garden with that!" Louise gasps, shocked.

"A famous sword is worth as much as a castle, my lady. A holiday home is quite cheap compared to this."

"I only brought two hundred gold with me..." Louise says mournfully and unwisely.

Shinji grits his teeth and slaps himself in the face. "Mistress, PLEASE. It's a fake."

"How dare you!" the shopkeeper retorts. "I deal only with the best in genuine goods!"

"How would you know?" Louise pipes up too.

"I could snap it right now, if it doesn't mean you're going to make me pay to have it reforged. Why don't we see if it can really cut through metal like butter?" Shinji replies evenly. He turns aside to Louise and says in a tone faintly whining "A big, expensive sword is just asking for it to get stolen. If it gets damaged, it's a shame to walk around with it. I can't swing it, Mistress. I'd be better of with just a long metal pole."

Louise frowns. "Fine. Three thousand ecu? Hah. But we're not leaving this shop until you have a sword, and that's final!"

The shopkeeper rolls his eyes at the noble's antics, but looks faintly relieved at having a guaranteed sale. "Then maybe one of things out there may be more suited to your... needs. They're priced more towards the average user." with just an edge to the end, poking at how a noble doesn't have enough money for his quality goods.

Shinji doesn't have super-strength and super-speed, at least not without breaking the rules. Something like a cavalry saber may be more to his size, and in being curved he could role-play like he's a samurai. His puny arms need the reach so he doesn't get impaled and bother with having to explain why he's not dead from a mortal wound.

Really, the idiot had it right the first time. He really would be better off with a metal pole if he's not out to kill anybody. A spear would be best for his body structure, it's quick and has a long reach, but it's a peasant's weapon.

"Aah! You're all so noisy! Who's that being so loud out there?" a deep voice suddenly booms through the shop.

Louise eeps, jumping up in surprise. "Who said that? S-show yourself!"

"You there! You're not letting this fraud of a shopkeeper talk you into one of his dodgy sales, are you? If you're fool enough to get taken in by some shiny slab of metal, then better hope all your gold has made arrangements in the afterlife!"

"Derf!" the merchant suddenly shouts off to the left of the shop, where there's no one there except a barrel of swords. "Didn't I tell you to stop saying such rude things to my customers?

"It's coming from... over there?" Shinji squints. His left hand itches for some reason.

He walks over to the barrel of swords and carefully pushes aside the worn hilts to expose a brass, cloth-covered longsword with a strange handguard.

"What is it, boy? Haven't you ever seen a talking sword before?"

Why. Really, why would anyone ever want to make a talking sword? Is it some sort of magical training weapon? It could be a side-effect of whatever other magical abilities this thing is imbued with.

It doesn't seem to have a soul, so it's not a living being by our measurement. At least it's not a soul eater or a soul-bound weapon. That might be bad even for us.

"Ah, I see. So you're the noisy one."

What?

"Oh! Could this be a sentient weapon?" Louise asks the shopkeeper. It looks like it's not that weird to her.

"That's right, lady. It's a sentient, magical, intelligent sword. I wonder what kind of mage could make a sword speak... but it's got a rotten tongue, always arguing with my customers."

"If your customers aren't stupid, or ugly, they're cheapskates!" the sword shouts out. "Maybe you lucked out today. What's this? Hey, boy! You seem familiar somehow. Are you a user?"

"A what?"

"Put your left hand over me, and let Derflinger judge your character."

Weird. Is this thing fully sapient? Some sort of magical Artificial Intelligence?

Reluctantly, Shinji touches the hilt of the strange talking sword with his left hand. Instantly the runes over his hand light up with a bright green glow.

"Oh." the swords says softly. "Oh. So it's Destiny again, is it?"

Destiny. Fuck.

"Ah! What was that just now?" the sword yells out.

Hey, mysterious magical talking sword-thing, can you hear me?

It begins to vibrate. "Ah! Whatever it is you're doing, stop it! It's too loud! I can't understand all that screaming."

Looks like it can't. Too bad. Hey, look at this. It's connecting to the familiar runes. It's like it's an appliance and we're the power socket.

Shinji quickly jerks away his hand, as if burned from a stove. "Sorry." He looks over the sword hilt. "Um, did I damage you, Derflinger sir?"

"I'm not a sir, boy. I'm a sword. The great Derflinger is enough!" Then in a tone full of wonder "What -are- you? That mind of yours, normally I can only feel the emotions of my wielder, but you-! It's like you've got an ocean inside of you. It's so deep I can't see anything. It's like I'm being crushed... so many voices all at once!"

"Uhh..." nervously he looks back towards Louise, and unfortunately Derflinger's voice is loud enough that she heard it all. She raises one of her eyebrows inquisitively. "I'm really sorry about that?"

"That decides it then. Buy me!"

"...um."

"Become my partner! Use me to fight! You're the type to gather powerful enemies, I can feel that. It's better than rusting away in this moldy old shop run by a shifty old crook."

"Derflinger! I already told you, keep up this insolence and I'll ask this noble to melt you!"

"Hah! I'd like to see you try again! You couldn't melt me down in any forge, and trying to use magic to melt me? Go ahead! I'd love to be melted down!"

And despite that the sword doesn't have any identifying marks other than the metal hoop on its hilt that's moving up and down when it's talking, its attention clearly changes towards Shinji. "Partner! Buy me! I'll serve you well, I'll beat down your enemies! I'll ask only one condition."

"What condition?" Shinji asks warily. "You're not one of those swords that are sustained by blood and human sacrifice are you?"

"What? Where are you getting these stupid stories? No!" Derflinger hotly retorts. "I ask that someday, when you feel your war is won, break me! Melt me! Destroy my memory! I know you can do it."

"Excuse me? You want me to take you so you can -die-? You want me to kill you?" He winces. "I'm sorry, but that's... I can't in good conscience agree to that."

"... you of all people should know the pain of being an immortal being, forever used as the tool of murder." Derflinger's mutters, barely audible.

Shinji winces. "Ugh." That's weird. How does something like this see without eyes anyway? I suppose it's not too unbelievable it can sense Shinji's soul may have a different 'flavor' to normal people.

"Buy me! Take me away from this place, and you'll see. You don't understand magic at all, do you? I promise you this, a better companion to a mage you won't ever find!"

Hmm, a magical talking sword. Why the hell not? Hey, Shinji, at least ask if it's a +1 sword or something.

"Are you a plus one, great Derflinger?"

"No, but I do have passive chance to Dispel and a percentage of Absorb Magic." the sword replies. It pauses its metal hoop in mid-speech, as if trying to comprehend what it had just said. "I'll tell you this now, melting me with magic is impossible. That just makes me stronger. That fat fool over there already knows that normal fires won't be enough to break me."

Louise perks up and rushes over to the sword. "Really?"

"Yes, really. Now buy me already!"

Louise looks towards the shopkeeper eagerly. The merchant is already calculating how much more Derflinger's words have added to its value. "Derf has been holding out on me, always being rude to my customers. But in light of its magical powers, I can't let it go for less than five hundred ecu."

Louise deflates. "But..."

"I won't be owned by anyone else!" Derflinger shouts. "You try selling me to some other mage, and I'll cause trouble. I, Derflinger, have chosen my partner!"

"Yeah? Well who asked you!" The arms merchant shrugs and tries to look reasonable towards Louise. "That's just how it is, noble miss. Things have to be paid for what they're worth."

Louise bites her lip. She could just walk away, but she feels that she'd be regretting passing up such a bargain. That's just basic emotional manipulation. Marketing is all about putting stress on the buyer, when it's really the seller that needs to make the sale. Louise is so hopeless at this.

Shinji nods at her and reaches over to pick up Derflinger with his left hand. It's a longsword, which means it's almost as tall as he is. But somehow, it feels light as air.

With a loud *fhwip!* cutting through the air, he swings Derflinger one-handed to point at the shopkeeper. His expression is quite peaceful. "Of course, we're not here to cheat you. Shall we test if that sword made by the famous alchemist can really cut through metal like butter?"

The shopkeeper shivers. "You-... are you threatening me? I won't stand for this!"

Shinji's lips start to rise into a smile. "What are you talking about? I'm not threatening -you-." With another loud *fhwip!* he shifts his hold on Derflinger so that the sword points upward and held close to his chest. Half his face his hidden by the blade.

The smell of metal is comforting to him, it's so much like blood.

"Familiar! Stop goofing around!" Louise snorts out. She turns to the shopkeeper and says "I'll give you one hundred gold for it."

"One hundred? That's just the price of a normal broadsword. It's still a magical sword... two hundred!"

Louise winces. That's all she has, as she'd said earlier.

"One hundred, as my Mistress said." Shinji says. "I'm sure that's better than risking Derlinger here being loud and annoying to every new customer. He's a magical sword. If you try to keep him out of sight and hearing somewhere, it's not like you can offer him up for sale so easily, can't you?"

"I'm talking and I don't have lungs." the sword adds. "I won't get tired of telling how much of a cheat you are and what shifty people you deal with!"

The arms merchant grimaces angrily. "Fine! One hundred hold, get it out of here and don't ever come back! I won't accept it if you change your mind!"

Louise nods smugly. "That's more like it. Familiar, pay the man."

.

.

Shinji draws some odd looks walking around with a long sword on his back, utterly out of proportion to his thin frame, but as soon as those looking sees the black cloak and pentagram symbol on Louise's chest, they hurriedly avert their eyes. Commoners aren't allowed to carry weapons, but obviously guards for a noble are an exception- and getting the attention of a noble walking around with an armed guard, no matter how unlikely he looks, can't possibly be a good thing.

Louise looks up, narrowing her eyes at how high the sun is in the sky. "We won't make it in time for lunch at the academy." she notes. "I'm hungry now. Let's go eat."

They pick one of the many restaurants and eat out in the veranda. Louise orders for the both of them, lemon-and-pepper salmon for her and young duck for him. His order is slightly more expensive. She's trying to impress him with her wealth and taste, isn't she?

"A boy and a girl, eating together... but the girl pays for the food." Derflinger says matter-of-factly. "This is a date, isn't it?"

Louise blushes abruptly and accidentally pokes herself in the nose with her fork. "Oww!"

"Louise!" Shinji worriedly gets up, only to be waved off by Louise as she pinches her nose and tries to look more angry at the insinuation than embarrassed. He looks instead to the sword propped up on the table beside him. "Derflinger, sir, really."

"I told you I'm not a sir! Call me Derf, and I'll call you... what's your name again?"

"Shinji. Shinji Ikari, um... Derf, pleased to meet you. I mean, belatedly."

"I'll call you Jee! Or Curry!

"Oh gods." Shinji moans.

"I'm starting to regret buying that sword..." Louise hisses. "That shopkeeper should have been paying us to get rid of it!"

"Fine, fine, no need to be so grouchy. I'll shut up. Don't take too long finding some enemies for me to fight. I've been bored long enough."

"Um... the whole point of buying you is to avoid looking helpless, and thus prevent violence."

"Hah! Partner, like that would happen to someone like you. You don't really believe violence won't follow you around like the shadow of every flame, do you?"

Shinji sighs and sits down, looking defeated. "No..."

"What's this sword talking about? Hey, are you really a soldier? Have you ever fought anyone before?"

Shinji takes a deep breath and tries to relax. "Yes, Mistress Louise. Of course I have. Not with a sword like Derf here, but I know how to use a lance, rifle, or a battle knife." And none of that shit are ever proved more effective than just using his (Eva's) bare hands.

Louise hmms and nods. The unspoken question in her eyes is _'have you ever killed anyone?'_

The sad look on his face is _'yes.'_

Which just leads to Louise's body language communicating _'am I really safe with you?'_

Shinji sits up straight, putting his fingers together and resting his ams on the table. His military-proper posture tries to reply _'I'd die first before letting you come to harm'._

_._

Someone else recognizes these signs and observes the two teenagers there with keen, calculating focus. Her intense scrunity is hidden by the book covering her face and the flowery hat on her head. From the restaurant on the other side of the street, two girls are seemingly relaxing nonchalantly.

"To think that if I didn't all but drag you out of the library, you'd be content just to let your paramour get snapped up by Valliere without any effort." her companion states while sipping from a tall cool glass of juice.

"Not a lover." Tabitha replies in an ever colder tone of voice.

"I was wondering if you even knew the definition of the term, if you're so insistent not to let it touch your life." Kirche smirks. Her distinctive red hair is hidden by an airy shawl. "Little Louise is pulling out all the stops here. She's trying to buy his affection with swords now. We could have grabbed that more impressive piece back there, you know."

"Useless."

"Well, maybe. But you're going to have to step up your game. If it was me, it would be easy... Louise doesn't have much in terms of feminine charms. But, for you... don't take it too hard, but you're both just about equal in that area."

Tabitha looks down, then back up towards Kirche's assets. She reaches over to quickly poke one of Kirche's breasts with her index finger.

"Ow, that hurt." Kirche moans while rubbed the underside of her offended bosom.

"Inconvenient."

"Tabitha, you know me. He doesn't look that interesting, but if he's got your eye then he must have some good points. Ohoho, I'd even be interested in finding them. But as your friend, I'll support you in this all the way. You have to trust me, this is what I know- if you don't do anything, you might as well just content yourself with losing. If you don't fight for your love, you can't ever win."

At the word 'losing', it's as if a great icy barrier slams shut over Tabitha's expression. Her annoyance fades, to be replaced with cold implacable purpose. To lose, to fail, these words have no place in her world.

She stands up, and strides away without any more words. She turns into a corner and soon Kirche just sees a dark shape in the sky.

Leaving Kirche there to pay for the meal and arrange for her own ride back towards the Academy.

"Huh. She's angry." Kirche says with a pleased smirk. She looks back towards the master and familiar pair, there intent on their conversation, and leans back to plot her own maneuvers. "But at whom, I wonder?"

.

.

It's now the long mid-afternoon ride back to the academy. Shinji and Louise are riding double on a tan mare from the Academy, but it's got the standard one-rider saddle. Shinji has to ride on little more than the saddle pad behind the pommel, and he worries if this might be putting pressure on the horse's spine.

He and Louise are both lightweights, and riding double won't harm if it's not done too often or for hours on end. He's worried now if the two hours it takes to get to the Academy is too much, because it's that he's riding without any way to secure himself that Louise is making sure the mare doesn't go too fast.

He has to lean forward and grip the edges of the saddle to make sure he doesn't fall off. The sun is hot and high in the sky, but he's more enwrapped by the warmth of physical human contact. He's forcibly made aware of Louise's sheer presence.

The heat of her thighs rubbing now and then on the inside of his forearms, her scent, and the fell of her long pink hair whipping back on the wind and stroking his face- the intensity of it is painful.

He feels warm. He feels at peace. He feels free from despair, and that's terrifying in its own way.

He needs this. He needs this bratty, insecure girl. He's starting to feel again, but without expression, his humanity would just wither and die again. Gratitude, hidden in fear and allowed to fester, can turn into poison.

What are you afraid of, baka Shinji? Keep moving. Always moving. Your feelings would just decay into regret, and that you can't fire off in a coherent beam of destruction, not like love.

Shinji sighs heavily.

After a while he says softly "Louise...?"

"Hm?"

"... may I hold you?"

The horse snorts as Louise's grip on the reins tighten and begins to move slightly faster.

"... you can put your arms around me, if you're afraid of falling off." Louise answers stiffly.

Slowly Shinji moves his arms from her side to lace his fingers together over her stomach. Louise flinches a bit and relaxes at the contact. His grip tightens slightly and Louise eeps as she feels him rest his forehead near the nape of her neck.

"Thank you." Shinji whispers shakily. "Thank you so much. You have no idea how happy I am at what you've given me."

"Ih... it's fine." Louise replies in a tiny voice. "It's no bother. Th-that thing isn't that expensive."

"It's not the sword, Louise. You've taken me from my home, branded me like cattle or a slave, and I'm happy for it."

The horse neighs and rears up as Louise reflexively pulls at it, and to keep from falling off Shinji tightens her hold into a hug.

"... is that how you really feel?" Louise asks through grit teeth, refusing to look back. "I go to all the trouble and this is how you thank me? It's not... this isn't what I wanted either!"

Shinji chuckles and the feel of his breath on the hairs of her neck sends little bolts of lightning up and down her spine. "You don't really realize how lucky you are, do you, Louise?" he whispers in a strangely husky tone. "I really believe that out of all the creatures in the universe, you got me, for a reason. A cat or a griffin, won't offer you perspective. You're a special person, my little noble Mistress. If there's anything you can't ever become, it's just to be any normal mage."

"Are you saying I should be content with never being able to cast a spell?"

_'I don't have the words. I'm just making her angry. I'm trying to thank her, to let her know how I feel so she shouldn't worry... Asuka, please. Help me.'_

Oh, fine. Snap poll, everyone. Tally up. Okay. Shinji, this is a summary of your mental state. Now think it over carefully. Louise is Louise La Valliere. She's a product of her environment. What perspectives are there that would benefit her?

Ready? Now let's go-

Shinji sighs and shakes his head, rubbing at the nape of Louise's neck in lieu of patting her on top of the head comfortingly. "I'm saying that I'm here to set you free to see all the choices in the world, not just limit you to a life decided by others.

Wealth. Influence. Ability. These are the trifecta of power. To become a copy of your mother is not the only way you can serve your family. How would a cat help you prepare and smooth over the courtly troubles? How would a large monster help you as a war mage sent out to investigate in secret? How would a dragon serve as you're married and managing an estate?"

Shinji's fingers tighten to the point it's like he's digging into his own bones. His voice begins to crack. "Right now, you can be anything. You don't have to be discouraged because it seems that your only avenue into recognition is difficult to cross. You wanted recognition, but what you need to be free is -**power**-.

Your own power. Not borrowed from someone else, not in sacrifice of what makes you who you are or those who care for you. I know what it's like to have power that causes only suffering... I can tell you why it's not worth it."

Shinji hugs her tight in a desperate try to communicate his gratitute. "You're a blank slate, Louise. And now because of you.. -_**so am I**_**-**."

Louise doesn't respond for a good long while. She closes her eyes, listening to her breath and the hammering of her heart, as she tries to process his words. "... are you... are you crying back there?"

Shinji abruptly lets go and wipes at his eyes. "No."

Louise bites her lip and looks down, smiling as his arms return around her. "Idiot." she whispers. "Don't you go poking yourself into my business. What I decide to do with my life... that's my own decision. Whatever happens... it's my worry."

She lets go of the reins with her right hand for a moment, to quickly swipe at her own eyes. "You're my familiar, you're my -responsibility-. Don't be such an... idiot, idiot!" she spits out. "Don't you want something of your own? Don't dare to lecture me on what I want if you don't have any ambitions of your own."

"I already have what I want." Shinji replies, tightening his grip. Louise blushes hotly. "You've given me the chance to be something other than what I was before."

"... then..." Louise licks her lips. "You'll stay by my side, right?"

"Forever, if you want." he mumurs.

"Hmf. That's acceptable." she replies, head up and looking at the road ahead, trying to seem dignified and unaffected.

Louise spurs the horse to a run, and Shinji has no choice but to keep holding on.

Damn it, Shinji. This girl, it would take so little to push her over into being self-entitled, insanely jealous, abusive little harpy. If you push, she'll push back. By accident you just keep on poking at her weak points.

She won't reach out to other people. Sooner or later, she'll be taking you for granted. Are you fine with that? She's going to have to leave you someday, she might meet someone better or have an arranged marriage. You'll be content with keeping the respectful distance, right?

Heh. So possessive. If I didn't know better, I'd say you're in love. It's just been three days and already you're putting the moves on this little noble.

Trying to protect something cute and delicate... we're not sure if this emotional transferrence is healthy, but it's still better than nothing. He never had the chance to experience fatherhood.

Ahaha. What a moron. Louise isn't going to recognize that, you know.

If only you're not so determined to be so stupidly formal, you could call her 'little sister' constantly, but then that opens up a whole host of other issues.

.

.

"Hey, what's this?" Marteau asks when Shinji shows up at the kitchen, the absurdly well-armed kid looking to help. "A sword? Do you even know how to use that?"

Shinji nods slightly. "So-so. What are we having for dinner tonight?" He picks up a knife and expertly twirls it between his fingers. "Just earlier today I had an oven roast that tasted more like an orange than a duck."

Marteau hmms. "Infusion... I know some chefs that like to do that, plays with people's expectations. It's a party trick, not good food."

"So what do I have to do just to get some broiled fish and some sliced cucumbers?"

He's been living off canned goods for what seems like forever. It's strange, but as a child we love intense tastes, as we grow older we prefer more complex combinations, then as we grow old we humans learn to love simple, mono-textured and mono-flavored things again.

If there's nothing else that proves Shinji's secretly an old man inside, it's his boring palate.

"It's a simple request. Don't worry about it, we're kind of busy here, so-"

"We're kind of busy here, so why not let him help, Mister Marteau?" one of the other cooks say, as he's stirring the pot.

The burly chef nods. "All right. You can help with the preparations, our little swordsman. And then I can give you a hug in congratulations for getting it done!"

Shinji winces. "Ah. That won't be necessary."

.

Come dinnertime, Shinji semi-grandly escorts Louise into the Alviss Dining Hall. Louise has her chin tilted up imperiusly, ignoring all the others, while knowing that her familiar's presence - with a sword - is drawing attention.

Shinji pulls a chair out for Louise to sit, and for a moment stands behind her. He looks around to see that some of the other students are snicking, muttering about themselves about _'what is the Zero playing at now?'_

His eyes narrow. He grasps at the hilt on his back, and with flick of his thumb nudges Derflinger out of its sheath. Because the sword is nearly as long as he is tall, he has to tilt the sheath to the side to bring out the broadsword.

Some of the studently quickly bring out their wands. Before anyone can react however, Shinji's raised the sword high up over Louise's head and then-

SPANG!

- drives it deep into the marble floor behind her chair.

Louise looks completely unperturbed, the loud sound that draws attention even from the teacher's table doesn't faze her - she's the one that ordered him to show off a bit.

"What the-? Partner! You're not going to just leave me out here, are you?" Derflinger shouts out as Shinji walks away. "Oh, come on! This is that whole Sword in the Stone bullshit all over again!"

Shinji walks off until he's by the stone wall near an entrance to the hall. He leans back on it and stands with his arms crossed. Just waiting. Watching.

Those who aren't inclined to just dismiss 'the Zero' are pondering what this display means. Are they having a disagreement? Is Louise taunting them? A sentient sword? How rare. It must have cost a fortune. Gossip is also its own slight form of fame, and Louise is drinking it up.

After a while however, Siesta comes in at full steam to unstick Shinji from his latest predicament. Or at least fail to. "Mister Shinji. Aren't you going to eat with us?" _'It's a bit of an insult to be so reserved after last night, isn't it? It's a rejection- a rejection! Does he feel that he's too good to eat with commoners now?'_

"After this." he replies apologetically. "It's... the least I can do to show my appreciation to Louise."

"What do you mean? I heard from Mister Marteau that she bought you a sword, but..." Siesta shrugs. _'It's not really that much of a gift. By giving it to him, Louise is just in the end serving herself, isn't it?'_

She notices that the sheath on his back is empty, and looks towards Louise. "Oh." she gasps, on seeing the sword buried almost to the hilt into the polished marble. She looks down and subconsciously taps the floor, feeling its hardness.

She turns back to Shinji and has to remind herself that his small deprived frame is hiding something terrible. She just can't help but to think he's open to all sorts of abuse. A powerless person being maltreated is pitiful, but someone with power that lets himself be misused is just pathetic. Disgusting, even. Siesta's resolved not to see that happen. "So you're just going to stand here waiting while she eats?"

Shinji nods. That's not unusual. Maids and butlers, and waiters in restaurants, this is just normal.

Siesta's expression tightens._ 'Unacceptable.' _With the driven finality of an _Orcinus orca_ having chosen its prey, and the coloration to match, she switly turns about and heads back out the dining hall.

Shinji blinks at her passing, utterly confused.

After a while Siesta returns carrying a tray with roasted fish, thily-cut cucumbers and tomatoes, a dip of garlic-smelling mayonnaise and a pre-sliced loaf of cheesy bread.

"I -_refuse_- to let you starve yourself while I'm around, mister Shinji." she says with an oddly proud sniff.

"Um... really, this isn't necessary. It won't take that long."

She aggressively enters his personal space and all but shoves the tray into his chest. "You're going to eat, mister Shinji, I'm not going to leave until you do." She pouts slightly. "Please?"

Shinji sighs. Defeated decisively, he reaches over for the spoon and fork. As he picks up the utensils however, a thought occurs to him. He's standing. Siesta's holding the tray.

Louise expects him to look firm and alert, and squatting to eat off the floor like a dog wouldn't do that.

"... you don't have to stand there just holding my food, miss Siesta." Shinji says with a wince. Such an expression of servility, he doesn't deserve. "I don't want to be a pain."

Siesta shakes her head. "If you want to stand here watching your noble Mistress eat, then I will stand here with you." She tries to stare him down. "Are you embarassed to be seen with me, mister Shinji?"

"Um... kind of? I'm just a commoner like you, you know. Serving me like this, it doesn't make me feel good. I really don't want to inconvenience you." Shinji stabs up a piece of bread with a fork and dips ut into the wad of garlic-mayo at the middle of the plate. "How about you? Shouldn't you be eating too?"

"I've already eaten."

"Please don't lie."

Ahaha. How are humans supposed to deal with each other without being able to expect honesty from each other? It amazes us how so many are so willing to lie in little things and get found out, while those who lie in big things are often believed beyond proof.

Siesta smiles. She's munched down on some slices before going out to the hall. "Don't worry about me. I'm fine. I can eat anytime. The leftovers will still be warm when I get back to the kitchen."

Shinji sighs. "I still feel like I'm taking advantage of you."

"I want to be here, take advantage of me." Siesta replies firmly. Then, realizing what she'd just said, she blushes and looks away. "I mean... is it really so bad? I just want to lighten the load on you, while you're serving as that person's familiar."

"T-thank you." Shinji replies, not turning his face away too. He takes a deep breath to center himself, trying to adapt to the waves of concern just flowing out of Siesta's soul battering upon his emotional shields. "But... if you won't let me stand here just waiting while Louise eats, then I can't stomach you just standing there while I'm eating and treating you like furniture."

So he raises up the piece of bread from earlier. "So...?"

"Mister Shinji..." Siesta says scoldingly.

"Just one...? Pleease?"

"T-that's not fair. You're doing..." He knows how to look pathetically lovable. He's using the same compulsions you just pulled on him. That's very fair. "It's... it's embarrassing!"

"Mwaha." Shinji says flatly. "Only now at the end do you understand, little meido." Then with a gentle smile, he nudges the bread closer to her lips. "Say 'aah'."

.

Louise isn't eating. She's seething. _'Wa-wa-what the hell is up with that idiot! A-a-after what I've done for him today, after what he said... how dare he flirt in front of me!"_ Or behind her, to be more precise.

Because Shinji and Siesta are quite visibly of different heights, it's very obvious what he's doing in feeding her by hand. Siesta dutifully holding the tray there, and then being fed scraps for being a good girl...

_'That jerk! He's no better than Guiche!'_

Kirche, on the opposite side of the table from Louise and thus having a good clear view, has to fight not to laugh. She understands clearly the erotic implications.

She has two third-year students on either side of hear, mouthing platitudes to her beauty and obliquely insulting each other. She pays them no attention.

How interesting. Tabitha's chosen battlefield of love isn't boring and predictable. Ah, if not for her dearest friend, she might even be interested enough to take a closer look. He doesn't look impressive, but he's got power. To know that other people have their eye on the prize makes it more valuable, doesn't it?

Derflinger, still stuck on the floor behind Louise moans out "Someone get me out of here. This isn't funny. It's just annoying to me..."

.

After some time, Louise puts down her fork with a clatter, and stands up. Quickly, Shinji's just gone. Siesta lets out an unnerved squeak as suddenly she finds that she's talking to no one, so quickly had he side-stepped and swung past her in a blur.

Smoothly Shinji strides through the hall to the middle table, bending down slightly and effortlessly picking up Derflinger from the floor with a loud rasping noise. Just as quick he slides the sword back into its sheath. He pulls out the chair for Louise, and moves back quickly just before she body-checks him in irritation. Slightly losing her balance, she's stopped by a hand on her shoulder.

She looks up to see only concern in his eyes. Louise grimaces. _'Why can't you just speak plainly what you want, you stupid familiar!' _she wants to say. _'Trying to look suave like this_..._' _Ignoring that it was her specific order. She slaps his hand away. "I don't need you help. Don't be too forward, you- you servant! Know your place." She makes a show of yawning. "I'm tired now."

Shinji looks hurt. "Oh. Yes. Of course, Mistress." He steps back and turns to escort back to her room and- "Ngyah!"

Whatever coolness he may have achieved is ruined by recoiling in surprise from Tabitha, who is suddenly there.

The blue-haired girl stares pointly at him, then at Louise. "Follow." she says, before turning around to walk back towards the dormitories.

Shinji and Louise share a look. Shinji just shrugs. Louise and Tabitha had literally never interacted with each other before. They were utter opposites, not just in personality but their color scheme. Louise huffs, and driven by curiousity decides to follow; in her mind excusing it as she was heading back to her room anyyway.

When Louise's back is turned, Shinji gives Siesta a farewell wave. The maid waves back half-heartedly.

Kirche blinks, and her eyes narrow with speculation. She rises to follow the trio, and the upper-years lauding her are summarily ignored. They call out to her, then resort to blaming each other for annoying her into leaving.

.

Tabitha heads straight into her room, seemingly completely unconcerned whether or not she's being followed. Only after opening the door does she turn around and, yes, Louise and Shinji are there. Louise looks exasperated, since Tabitha's been refusing to acknowledge her calls or questions through the walk. Shinji had managed to calm her down by saying that Tabitha is perhaps the sort of person not to discuss things outside of the proper place, with privacy.

Tabitha nods slightly to show her appreciation for their cooperation and steps inside her room. She stands by the door, holding her staff out in a gesture that may be interpreted as welcoming.

The two enter and seat themselves at the small tea table common to every student's room. Tabitha closes the door and is about to join them, when there's a loud knocking.

She opens the door to reveal a frowning Kirche.

"Two at once, Tabitha? That's ambitious. I'm happy for you and all, but this may be even too ambitious." She places both hands on her friend's shoulder and bends down to speak face to face. "You have to start with small experiments before moving onto bigger, more complicated ones. I know you're well-read, but there are -mechanics- involved here that aren't obvious in your books."

Tabitha's cool gaze has a patina of confusion for a moment, then hardens. She lightly pushes the hands off with the gnarled top of her staff. "No." she says, unamused.

Kirche doesn't look deterred. She looks even more adamant now. "Tabitha! I know it may be weird, but really. You just can't rush into these things without proper instruction! Or an instructor." She smiles, but without the typical lascivious edge that characterizes her amusement. "As your friend, it's my responsibility to make sure that your first experience at ménage à trois isn't a mess full of weeping and strained ligaments."

Tabitha slams the door in her face and locks it.

"A what?" Louise shrieks.

Tabitha sighs and gives a slight shrug that heavily implies _'Eh. It's Kirche. What can you do?'_

Long familiar with and resigned to her rival's eccentricities, Louise's ire fades quickly. She doesn't see how Kirche and Tabitha can be friends at all, given how different they are. Fire and Ice. It's ludicrous, but somehow it works.

Tabitha sits on the edge of her bed and stares at each visitor in turn. "Challenge." she says to Shinji. "Permission." she says to Louise.

"Aaaah." Louise's expression lightens with comprehension and relief. "So that's what this is about." She frowns. "Wait. You're challenging him to a duel? Why?"

"No reason."

"Ugh. This is the sort of thing I was talking about." Louise mutters aside. To Tabitha, she says with all due snootiness "Well, that's not possible. His.. relic... is locked up, and he's forbidden to duel anyone."

Tabitha shakes her head slightly. "Not important. Test of combat prowess."

"Um... I think she's talking about sparring, Mistress." Shinji says while scratching at the side of his chin. "Just a normal friendly match."

"Well in that case there's no reason to accept it, isn't there?"

"But there's no real reason to avoid it, too." Shinji replies. "Not that I want to, you understand." Because Tabitha is still creeping him out mightily.

However, as more and more he interacts with her, the more he's going to realize that she's her own distinct person and even his traumatic memories linked to Rei may in time lose their effect. Oversaturation's one of the legitimate ways of getting over a phobia.

"Educational." Tabitha adds.

Louise huffs. "Than what's the point?"

"Training." Tabitha and Shinji speak at the same time.

"... I mean, it might be good to find out how I'll fare against a magic-user in a longer fight, with different kinds of weapons. Since it wouldn't be good to fight you, testing myself against another mage may be useful."

"Are you underestimating me? I won't back down, not even to you- specially to you! Maybe you'd like to see what I can do on the other side of the field?"

"No, Louise, I -_don't_-." Shinji replies quickly and firmly, surprising her with his vehemence. "That's not a situation I'd ever want to be in. I'm here to protect you, after all."

"Variety." Tabitha adds. "Triangle class. Wind. Wind. Water." She tilts her staff towards her own head.

Louise twiches. She may be the best in her class in terms of theoretical studies, but consistently Tabitha is at the head of the class with the practical. The blue-haired girl's grades are beyond reproach. Her cold demeanor means she's often overlooked.

How so deeply and painfully Louise wants to -be- Tabitha. If only she was like that, then she feels that her life would be perfect. Louise doesn't understand that there are different painful events that shape other people, specially an overachiever like Tabitha.

"Tabitha!"

The girl turns around to see that Kirche is levitating outside her window.

"Oh, good. You haven't started yet." Kirche says, starting to push her body through the window. "Tabitha, listen to me! As your closest and dearest..." in a lower voice "and only-" louder "... friend, it's my duty- no, my pleasure! To help you out in this time of need! You're starting to bloom! But your blossom may be discouraged by a bad encounter.

I can't take that risk. It must be perfect! For your sake! Look, to make it easier for all concerned, I even brought instruction manuals! And tools!" Kirche grins and shows off her shoulder bag. "Just trust me! I know what I'm doing!"

Tabitha blasts her straight to the face with a wide-area wind bullet.

With a small wave, Tabitha draws the curtains closed on her window. "Annoying." she huffs.

"Are-are they really friends?" Louise squelches out. "That was... unfriendly?" She gropes in her mind for a word. "Brutal."

"Will Miss Kirche be fine?" Shinji asks, with his eyebrows still raised in surprise.

"Survived greater delta velocity." Tabitha replies dismissively.

Louise doesn't look convinced. "Uh... if you're going to be throwing around spells like that, I'm not sure if I should let you fight my familiar after all."

"No confidence." Tabitha says to Louise, pointing with her staff. "Stronger than he appears." pointing at Shinji.

Both teens wince at the brazen accuracy.

"T-that aside, why should I allow it? I won't let you hurt my familiar just for your fun. What do we get out of it?"

Tabitha stares at Louise as if she's nothing more than a bug. "Through combat, purge weakness." she repeats what she'd read and applied as her life lesson. "The strong discover themselves."

Hurriedly, before Louise can say something pridefully stupid, like say - challenging Tabitha herself to prove that she's not weak. That would only get her brutally slapped down, and sending her into a spiral of despair at how incurably weak she is. "Can we think about it? With Sohryu locked up in the vault, it's still a few more days until she's released back to my hands. They won't let the skull out just for sparring with another student, they might even forbid it."

Tabitha tilts her head slightly. "Not sword?"

"Yeah, why not, partner?" Derflinger pipes up. "I can deal with it. You look like you need practice there anyway."

"Swords are sharp." Shinji says to Tabitha. To Derlinger "I'd rather really wait until there's a way to make sure we won't go too far."

Tabitha nods. "No hurry."

.

"TAABITHAAA!"

After a while, Kirche returns, blasting Tabitha's window with a fireball then swooping in, rolling and then rising with her wand up and at the ready. Tabitha sits up in her bed, already in her nightclothes.

"What?" Kirche asks vexedly. "You're already done? Tabitha! What's the meaning of this?"

"Nothing happened." the girl replies.

"No!" Kirche wails, dropping to her hands and knees. "That's even -_worse_-_!_ Tabitha, how could you do this to me? You ruined it!"

Kirche grins. Suddenly she sits up, her expression bright again. "Wait. This means we still have a chance to properly -ruin- your chastity!" She's misunderstanding so blatantly.

"Instead of an ad hoc affair, we can really plan it out!" Kirche continues, raising her fist to the wall. "Perfect! If you're uncomfortable with me being there, then no problem! I'll just set things up ahead of time so that everything goes smoothly. Hmm. Slick and smooth. Yes. Lots of oil..."

Tabitha sighs and lies down, putting her pillow over her head to muffle Kirche's steadily more perverted mutterings. "Go away." she says softly.

Kirche glances over at Tabitha and smiles again, that one without any hint of sexual intent or smugness. She's genuinely happy to see Louise and Tabitha slowly coming out of their shells. Being annoyed by her is something they might have in common, but unfortunately they're both trigger-happy small wonders. It's fun, though.

Okay, fine. We'll mark this one for study too. Yes, yes, even sluts have feelings too.

.

Let's end today's sensory record where it began, here, in Tabitha's room.

Not much excitement happened today, but overall I think we can say it's been productive. We may run out of things to say or have to shift genres entirely if Shinji keeps on getting peaceful days like this. Bland, predictable, mundane days. It's all he wants. It's his dream come true.

... are we sure this isn't just another layer of Instrumentality?

Are you fuckers fucking with me?

_He must enjoy these times as much as he can, as far as he is able. Sohryu, surely you recognize the developing patterns._

He's meeting some interesting people. Interesting times are afoot. Let's hope the worst he has to deal with is some romantic comedy bullshit.

Wait.

Shit. That -_is_- **_the worst_** possible thing. He can't even _begin_ to handle that. Even open war or world-ending catastrophe would be easier to deal with. Not better, of course. Just easier to comprehend. Just easier to fall back to the false power.

Oh, dammit. Shinji, you hopeless sap. You have to be strong enough.

There's nothing more we can do.

.

.

end ch6

* * *

Not much action yet. There may be an inherent flaw in this story in that there's no clear antagonist (of sufficient DC) and that the main character is designed to avoid conflicts, but oh well. Not every story needs to be gripping, I suppose? A series of cute little interactions punctuated by ripping shit up is good enough. Not a Quest, just a journey.


	7. ch7: Gather Your Party

So let me get this straight. We've been here for all of three days and already you want to set up the baka with what looks like a younger, even more emotionally stunted version of you? The one with the even less reluctance about resorting to lethal force as her hello?

_That is correct._

Okay, we're done here.

_We have a signed petition. _

Your clones don't count as separate votes! NEXT!

_We have an endorsement from Mrs. Ikari._

... that perverted hag counts as a million **_negative_** votes.

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**Surrogate of Zero**

ch 7

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Last episode, we saw _Ikaricus Inepticus_ acquire a magical talking sword that supposedly eats magic. He has also agreed to a later all-out duel with _Tabithas Neotenus Badasseri, _which is sure to end up being hilarious for us.

So now we begin in the middle of the day, skipping over the unimportant early morning routine. Shinji Ikari and Louise La Valliere are inside a classroom. Shinji's quiet and well-behaved enough that he's allowed to sit up on the desks as if he's a student, but not in this class. The professor is quick to anger, and Shinji would rather not seen, be forgotten, and avoid pointless conflict. On the other hand, there's nothing stopping him from lying down and taking a nap if he wants to. On the gripping hand, he doesn't want to sleep. He's talked Louise into lending him some sheets of a paper and a set of quill and ink.

Okay, just added to the list I'm making Shinji write, Money-making Scheme number 32: self-inking Brush Pens. Shinji's written it down in Kanji, so it should be safe from casual perusal.

And then with something that makes writing easier, Shinji, if you're going to have all this much free time inside a classroom, why not become a novelist? You've got paper and ink, and that's all you need. We should ask Tabitha if there's someone like Dumas in the scene, and if not- the Count of Monte Cristo is sure to be a hit. Or we could try poetry. Nevermore. You could create the detective story genre. Trashy romance novels are trashy. And profitable.

We have an almost infinite library of stories just waiting for resale.

_'That's just.. plagiarizing.' _Shinji thinks, discouraged. _'That's stealing other people's work. I won't earn my money that way.'_

Who do you think you are, Scrooge McDuck? You can't be tougher than the toughies and sharper that the sharpies and make your money square. You can try to convince Louise into doing that, but for you- if you're not cheating, you're not trying. Copyright doesn't matter anymore. You own -_all the rights_-.

_'That still doesn't make it right. I should at least put some effort into it.' _

Fine. Owning a printing press would still be useful. Make sure to do that. Words can do more to destroy the foundations of nobility than any number of small uprisings.

_'__**Each according to their needs, each according to their ability**__, isn't so simple when there's a sizable segment of the population that can command nature to do as they want, who are instrumental to the persistence of civilization. It's only an assumption that the distribution of resources and heavy elements are the same as Earth. We don't know if it obeys the same rules of nature.'_

Clouds still bring rain. Dead things return to the soil. Fish come from the sea. What more do we need?

_'Mages are people too, Asuka. Trying to make them obsolete out of spite doesn't solve the problem.' _

School. It's so boring. When you've got the repository of all human history and philosophy in your head, you can pretend to be as educated as you can want. Knowledge is different from maturity, though. Shinji's so intent on gaining power through mundane human means to preserve himself from the temptation to rely upon the streams of incarnate might just waiting under his veins.

The teacher, Kaita the Gust, a tall man with long jet-black hair and very aggressive disposition, is still going on about how Wind is the strongest magic. As if there's any such thing. Louise is inclined to agree, due to the terrifying fame of her mother, but as she explained to us earlier, mages cast spells from their willpower. Stamina is probably a better word, but it's more a combination of intent and endurance.

"Everyone, I now tell you why the wind element is the strongest. It is quite easy. Wind can sweep up everything. Fire, water, and dirt alike cannot find footing when faced against strong enough winds." Kaita briskly announces. "Unfortunately, reality does not let me experiment this, but even Void would probably not stand. That is the wind element."

Wind is just the motion of molecules, you idiot. We should introduce him to solar wind. And even then, that can't move someone who's anchored himself in absolute spacetime. We already survived the sun going nova.

All of a sudden, the door to the classroom opens.

It's Siesta. Dun dun?

"Pardon the intrusion, please." she says to those inside, her eyes slightly unfocused. She sweeps her gaze around the room until her attention locks on to Shinji.

Completely ignoring the teacher's steadily more volatile inquiry, she quickly strides over to him. She bows to Louise. "Excuse me for a moment, please, Mistress Valliere?"

"Siesta?" Louise asks archly. "What are you doing here?"

Rather than answer, she sits down and folds Shinji into a tight hug. Shinji smells a touch of brandy.

"Hey!" Louise shrieks in scandalized outrage.

"Please take care of yourself." Siesta says when she finally pulls free. "Make sure to eat well and try not to get any more fights." She gives him a tender kiss to the forehead. She stands up and wipes at her eyes. "Goodbye, Mister Shinji!"

She flees from the room, the very picture of heartbroken maidenhood.

And the room erupts in noise. "You perverted familiarrr!" rises above them all, and fueling even greater speculation.

"ORDER! I WILL HAVE ORDER IN THIS CLASS!" the teacher shouts, his voice amplified by Wind magic. "SILENCE!"

Quickly the class simmers down. Louise has her face forward, an unemotional mask of intent attention.

"I will not tolerate any more interruptions in my class. There will be no more stupid useless chatter! As a Triangle-class Wind Mage, I will be able to pick out even the slightest whisper, and know who needs to be punished! Now pay attention! You there! What is the most important function of Wind magic in our society?"

The pudgy young noble, Malicorne, answers with "Uhh... making windmills move?"

"Wrong! I'm ashamed to see you as a Wind-aligned mage! Crawl in the dirt instead!" the teacher replies. Malicorne's owl hoots its displeasure, but the young noble just cowers. The teacher turns to Kirche. "How about you, miss Fireball?"

Kirche smirks, apparently undaunted by how the teacher had deflected her fireball from earlier to prove that Wind was stronger than Fire. "Airships. Wind magic is needed to control airships and recharge Windstones."

"Adequate."

Louise winces and rubs at her forehead. Her vision's starting to get fuzzy, and the back of her eyeballs feel itchy. She blinks, and sees herself. She looks left and right, but even as she moves her head, the view doesn't change.

She's looking through her familiar's eyes!

Yesterday, he's connected with Louise a little, and in return for her gift he feels like he should start being more useful. The view moves down towards the floor and a sheet of paper there. Written on it is:

_- Please don't be alarmed. I figured out how to get this remote vision thing working. It turns out I have to let you in. Normally it's the mage that has to trigger it, right? For us, it's reversed. I can look through your eyes too, but you have to decide to allow it. This arrangement preserves our privacy, and is much more useful than just a one-way remote observation. -_

"What are you talking about?" Louise hisses softly.

"Haven't you been listening?" the teacher shouts. "One would expect a child of the famed Valliere family would understand the importance of speed when it comes to trade! A ship would have to sail all around Halkeginia to reach Romalia, a journey that takes a fraction of the time in an airship. Likewise, wagons can't carry a load that can equal the cargo capacity of an airship, and would be as pitifully slow. Tristain has the second largest air fleet in all Halkeginia because we recognize its importance! Is this too difficult for you to understand, Miss Valliere? Or were you thinking I was just bluffing about being able to hear even the tiniest whisper?"

"No, Professor Kaita! Please accept my apologies, sir." Louise responds quickly, stiffening her sitting posture and staring straight ahead.

The teacher nods and continues his lecture.

The perspective of her sight remains the same. Some more lines have been added to the sheet.

_- Please close your eyes and think about what it would feel like to let someone else look through your eyes. It might be disconcerting for a while, but please bear with it. -_

Driven by her curiosity, Louise doesn't hesitate. She closes her eyes and wonders what it means. She has her eyes closed, and strangely she feels both sightless while at the same time still seeing clearly through Shinji's eyes. She feels some sort of distant tugging sensation and decides to pull back in turn.

She opens her eyes and "Gah." She's looking through Shinji's eyes, who's looking through her eyes, who's also looking through his eyes and what he's seeing is what she's seeing and oh dear she seems to have gone cross-eyed.

Louise knocks at the side of her head with the ball of her palm and tries to focus. Eventually she opens her eyes and forcefully pushes aside the thought of how the hell she's managing to look out through four eyes at the same time without going mad.

It's not that difficult. The images manage to overlap. Darker areas are more transparent to lighter areas. That the writing paper is the same bright color to both sets of eyes, means that Shinji manages to adjust the paper he's written on to align with the sheet on Louise's desk. Now it looks like there's writing on it.

_- Please focus on the vertical line below this, and then write something below it. -_

_- Like this? -_

Like some sort of primitive chatbox, Shinji easily slides in his reply. He tests turning off the vision-sharing on his end, and then Louise tries both to deny and force open the connection on her end.

_- Looks like it works. -_

_- An optical illusion. This is somewhat interesting, I admit. -_

_- Feeling lucky yet that you have the power to summon a human familiar? At the very least, a familiar that can read and write. -_

_- Why should I feel lucky? -_

- _You could be a most excellent spy, or a least a very well-informed field officer. - _Shinji writes. _- A mere animal would just let you see from its eyes, but a human can report on his findings. Just with this, you can hold a conversation between two groups of people no matter the distance, don't you think that would be important in diplomacy? _

_You really should stop being so jealous about other's powers. None of them have the potential to influence society on a continental scale like you can -_

_- Jealous? I'm not jealous! - _Louise responds anyway.

She's grinning, slowly in her imagination builds what Shinji meant. It's an advantage that no one else can claim, unless there are others who have summoned humans too. Just because one is unique doesn't mean that one can't be useless, but Louise takes worth in being of able to serve someone else's purpose. Fealty is a strong component of nobility.

_- This is interesting, but it's just a way to communicate. Better to ask, what's up with you and that shameless hussy of a maid? -_

_- Nothing's up with us. But... something's troubling Miss Siesta. - _Shinji pauses and thinks over his place in this new life of his._ - Rather than tell you, Mistress, what do you know of deductive reasoning? -_

_- It's analysis going from the general to the particular, right? Why can't you just tell me? -_

_- It's more interesting this way. These are the facts:_

_1. Miss Siesta had the faint smell of alcohol._

_2. She rushed inside, accosted me, and then quickly left with no regard for propriety._

_3. Her exact words to me were "Take care of yourself", "Make sure to eat well and try not to get any more fights" and then "Goodbye, Mister Shinji!"_

_4. She was crying._

_5. She told me yesterday that as long as she's around, I would never starve._

_What conclusion can be reached from these? -_

_- That she's a drunkard and a wanton woman! How dare she imply that you'd starve, as if I'm unable to provide for my own familiar! -_

Shinji just sighs_. - Mistress, I refuse to allow you to cripple the power of your own reason. Let me put it this way instead, why do people choose to drink? -_

After a while, Louise writes down _- Because wine tastes good, I suppose? Because they're drunkards and they have no self-control! It's unsightly. -_

_- That's redundant. A drunkard has no self-control because... ? -_

_- Being drunk is to be addled in the head. - _Louise has to put down with a superior smirk.

_- That which is called drunkeness is an altered state of the mind. Being drunk allows people to forget. It lowers inhibitions. In smaller amounts, it's why liquor is sometimes called 'liquid courage'. As B follows A, Miss Siesta felt she needed to be brave, and interrupting a class of noble-born is both rude and improper, and in its own way, very courageous. -_

_- She doesn't know her place! And why does she hug you for no reason all of a sudden? -_

_- Not for no reason. She is my friend. She's arranged for how I get to have my meals with the other commoners in the kitchen. Haven't you ever been so engrossed in something you'd rather forego meals? Miss Siesta recognizes that I'm also of that sort to neglect to eat if I've found something too interesting. -_

_- What does that have to do with anything? -_

_- Why would a maid dare the wrath of a Triangle-class noble teacher to interrupt his class, just to hug me and leave me some parting words? Why would she be so despondent about it? Think about it, please. -_

_- Fine. She's that daring because " _Louise pauses and licks her lips. She thinks about it for a long while. It's easy to say that a commoner might be insubordinate, but insubordination is punishable. For a maid to set aside her fear of corrective action means she must have... strong emotional connection to Shinji? That hussy! No, that's stupid; Louise decides. Why be sad about it unless Shinji's rejected her already? He just doesn't look the type. It doesn't fit with what she'd observed of their apparent flirting last night. _- she doesn't have to fear punishment anymore from anyone inside the Academy. She's leaving the Academy. -_

_- Correct. -_

_- That's inane. -_

_- Remember, Louise, it's a wild indiscretion out of the blue. Why go that far? -_

After a while Louise writes _- She's leaving the castle. She's leaving the castle, not of her own free will. That explains the urgency. -_

_- Exactly. Excellent deduction, Mistress. But now it seems we've just uncovered a deeper mystery. What could explain this sudden change in routine? - _

_- Not again. We're not going to involve ourselves again in the affairs of the hired help. It's beneath the attention of a noble. -_

_- I'm not a noble. It's not beneath me to care. I do kind of feel responsible for her. I only really know three people in this place - you, Miss Siesta, and Miss Tabitha. And Miss Tabitha is only waiting until she gets to pound my face in. -_

Louise snorts._ - You're not allowed to make any more trouble for me. -_

_- Knowledge is power, Louise. This might seem like a small mystery, but investigations always start small. -_

Louise grimaces. At her age, her mother was already going around uncovering conspiracies and defeating vicious monsters. She's tempted to just write down 'I forbid you to involve yourself in this idiocy any further', except that the aphorism 'Knowledge is power' necessarily implies that 'Ignorance is a weakness'.

She ponders her options. If she writes _'Don't tell me what to do, I'm the master here', _then Shinji could just say that he's not trying to make her do anything. Unsaid but all too clear there would be: she's giving up far too easily at the slightest hint of any inconvenience. If she writes _'It's not important, let the maid show some spine and save herself for once_', then he could respond that to ignore a plea for help from a social inferior, and that social inferior manage to solve her own problems, means that noble superior is irrelevant. The respect due to a noble due to her power is therefore undeserved.

_- Why should I keep on letting that damn maid impact my valuable time here in the Academy? -_

_- Why not? It's not like it's all that exciting in here anyway. - _

Because even a maid is a person, Shinji wants to say, and Louise needs such a friend. Siesta is his friend, and Louise is someone he cares about, and he can't help but to want them to get along with each other too.

Louise huffs. It's not like she has anything better to do outside of classes. She doesn't have any friends to socialize with. Reading up on complex magical theory has already proven useless for getting her magic under control.

Shinji flips the paper over to write at the other side. Louise withdraws from her link for a second to do the same to her sheet.

_- It's an investigation. Do you know how to conduct an investigation? - _she sees next.

_- Of course I do. We need to interrogate somebody. Just you watch! I'll get a confession right quick! -_

Shinji sighs. That's not encouraging. _- Louise, have you ever heard of the term 'good cop, bad cop'? -_

Heh. Deluded _gendarme_ and psychotic _gendarme_, more like it.

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The class is over. Now we're in the kitchen. The apprentices and helpers were washing dishes and scrubbing pans, pointedly trying to pretend they're not seeing a noble in the kitchen. Martreau, the head chef, has his arms crossed in a posture of guarded defiance. The highest authority in a kitchen is its head chef. Louise stands facing him across the table, her ams in a similar challenging posture. Shinji's sitting down, drinking tea.

Wait... aren't we reversing things here? Who's supposed to be the master and who is the attack dog again?

Shinji puts down his teacup with a delicate clink at the coaster dish. "Please, have a seat, Mistress Louise. Your tea's getting cold."

Louise shakes her head belligerently. "I'll stand if I want to." To her it would seem as if she's supplicating a commoner. It doesn't help that Marteau is a big man with rather crude features, and even if he sits down, he'd still tower over these two. Louise hadn't even given thought before as to who prepares the student's meals, and she can barely believe such a man with thick, arms and fingers could cook with such delicacy.

"If that's what you want..." Shinji sighs, then turns to the chef. "We're here to ask about miss Siesta. Where is she now?"

Marteau looks reluctant to speak while Louise is there. The pink-haired girl shoots him a beady look that asks _'What are you hiding? You're too suspicious! Confess!'_

"Siesta's left the castle." Marteau replies with a sigh. "A certain Count Mott asked her to be his mistress."

Louise blinks. "That's it? That was simple." She shrugs and turns around. "Mystery solved, let's go."

"Wait." Shinji taps at the ring of the ceramic cup. "Please explain to me what being a mistress means."

"It's.. um... you know..." Marteau grimaces at Shinji. "It's sort of like a wife on the side, do you understand?"

"I know the definition of it, yes. I'm sorry, what I meant to say was- did Count Mott buy out her contract? Did Siesta get something in advance for her obligations in this castle?"

Marteau shakes his head. "No, only artisans have contracts to keep their service. Servants are only paid for as long as they work, it doesn't matter for whom."

"So, basically... this Count Mott just comes around, tells Siesta to quit her job, without anything in return? Thats it?" Shinji sucks in a breath through his teeth. "That's... some serious douchebag behavior."

"What are you talking about?" Louise interrupts. "A noble favoring a commoner, that's not a bad thing."

"Not a bad thing?" Marteau retorts. "Siesta's been taken away. Her life's been destroyed at a word."

"If you call being treated like a lady as being destroyed. That maid, she should feel so lucky!"

"Luck has nothing to do with it, Louise." Shinji says in a soothing voice. "It's a class change. Miss Siesta had a steady job here in the Academy, with some protection afforded by the authority and traditions of this school. To give that up for the uncertainty to become some nobleman's mistress - that doesn't provide a contract either."

"Commoners are always looking for a noble to snag! It's their ticket to an easy life!" She glances at Marteau for a moment. "To gain the attention of a noble is the only way to advance in station."

The head chef looks like he wants to say something, but is held back both by Louise's noble status and her youth. He just huffs, pushing aside his ire, it's not his place to correct noble girl's ignorance about how the world really works. In many ways, it's when commoners prove that they don't -need- the patronage of a noble, that's when the nobles appear to offer their support to claim the talents for their own use.

Shinji looks thoughtful. "And yet- how are we so sure that Siesta didn't try to say no?"

Louise frowns. "What do you mean? Why shouldn't she agree...?"

"That's just conjecture, Louise. You yourself deduced earlier that Siesta didn't want to leave the castle. How do we reconcile this conflict?"

Louise sniffs. "Well, obviously... that was just a show?"

"That just adds complexity to the situation, rather than finding the most logical scenario. Facts are facts, Louise. To Siesta, the benefits of becoming a mistress did not outweigh the loss she feels."

Louise bites her lip. That maid was too forward! She all but assaulted Shinji. To leave the castle, is that the regret Siesta's leaving behind? Louise wants to think it preposterous. Shinji's not so impressive. Maybe the maid feels some sense of debt from the few days ago, since Shinji did go so far as to challenge a noble for her honor, but surely Siesta was that self-interested enough to say 'yes'.

"Siesta couldn't refuse..." Marteau says sadly. "Or rather, Count Mott wouldn't listen to her refusal. If Siesta didn't obey, then that person could make so much trouble."

"Don't slander!" Louise barks out at the burly chef. "It's easy enough to see that maid did it all for her self-interest. What's the point in trying to pretend it's some big tragedy now? She has it good."

"Is that, therefore, what women aspire to?" Shinji ponders. "A comfortable life, to be pampered, adored, with very whim indulged, as long as at night they'd be a willing fuck toy?"

Louise scowls mightily. "You-! Watch what you're saying!" she grinds out. "I'm not falling for your word traps anymore."

"So... that's a no?"

"Shut up. Are you trying to make me angry? Of course not!"

"But you just said it's a good life. So what is it, then?"

Louise grimaces. "It's... relative, isn't it? For a commoner, to be a nobleman's mistress, it's a honor. It's better to be served than to serve... if she can't be a wife to a noble, that's close to it."

Marteau's lips curl up. "You're saying that as if there's nothing to be given up for such a thing! It's a prison! It's not an honor, it's a curse! You nobles might like to trade yourselves to secure alliances, but we treat our bodies with more respect than that! It's the only thing left that we truly own!"

"How dare you-!"

"Louise. Mister Marteau. Stop." Shinji raises his teacup to his lips, takes a sip, and puts it down with a soft clink. "Power and privilege are separate things. Maybe... how do I explain this... " What would Sherlock Holmes do? No, Holmes is kind of an ass about explaining things. The Socratic method involves getting someone else to keep talking, but we don't have time to waste letting Louise go round and round until she gets a clue.

How about...

Shinji looks to the distance, juggling in his head facets of his personality. People can't be convinced just by facts. The capacity of a human mind to deny the facts is phenomenal, but hacking a brain is to bypass reason entirely. "Louise, how about we play a game of Pretend?"

"Hm? What?"

Shinji moves his chair slightly that he can see Louise from the side. He picks up the teacup and leans back in an exaggeratedly languid pose. "Let's pretend, that I'm the noble in this relationship and you're some serving girl that caught my eye." He raises the cup to his lips, and though it hides his mouth everything else makes it clear he has a predatory smile. "I would like you to be my mistress. Do you accept this?"

Louise's posture stiffens. "... uh, sure."

"Louise, you are now -**my**- mistress." he whispers.

Louise makes a show of rolling her eyes exasperatedly, turning her head away from him. "... yeah, yeah, what's your point?"

"I have brought you here, to my mansion, where you will have every luxury you have ever dreamed of. But if you leave this mansion, you can never return. Here my word is law. If you stay by my side and obey me, I will care for you. Disobey me or leave, you are nothing to me." He bares his teeth slightly. "Do you understand this? Do you accept this?"

Louise's cheek twitches. Her crossed arms shifts slightly into a protective hug. "... fine. Yes. Get on with it."

"Louise!" Shinji says roughly. "**You **are -_**mine**_-_!_"

Louise blushes instantly. She flinches at his tone and then her posture begins to relax in his direction. Shinji takes another sip of his tea, his eyes intent at a point near Louise's bare neck. Marteau's eyebrows rise in fascination at the tableau.

"My pretty little Louise. Your body yields to my touch. I teach you pleasures you can't even begin to imagine. But you must remain here, in this mansion. Your enemy in behind its walls is boredom, but when I come in, I expect you to devote all your attention to pleasing me. There is no world outside. I am your world. Will you attend me, Louise?"

"... yes." she manages to squeak.

Shinji nonchalantly holds his arm out, shaking the empty teacup. Hurriedly one of the apprentices breaks off from washing dishes, wiping his hand on his apron, to refill it first with milk, then with tea. Only later does that apprentice realize what he'd done. It was automatic, he jumped to serve. A true noble doesn't need to command, and the boy is exuding that all-consuming pride. Shinji smells its the aroma then puts the cup down to cool. "Louise." he whispers.

The girl eeps and stiffens.

"I will be hosting a party at the end of this week. I would like to present you to my friends. I expect you to serve them as... diligently... as you would serve me. Will you do this for me, Louise?"

Louise blinks, coming to realize the implications, then turns her head back to Shinji. "Wait a damn minute..." That was a mistake.

Shinji doesn't look angry. He absently runs his hand around the rim of the cup, caressing it, and everyone's eyes is drawn to his thin fingers going around and around. He's not even looking at what he's doing, but his eyes entrap Louise. With every circle done by his finger, it's as if the air inside the room is getting thicker and thicker.

Suddenly he stops and pinches the lip of the teacup. Mister Marteau begins to cough and gasp for breath, as his sudden gulp seems to have gone down the wrong pipe. Louise yelps as if in pain.

"Are you disobeying me, Louise?"

"N-no." the girl squeaks. "No, I'm not."

"That's good. My good little mistress. My pretty little Louise." Shinji croons. "The party is a success. And it's all because of you. I'm so happy. You should rest now. Are you happy, Louise?"

Louise feels the beating of her chest and concludes "Yes, I'm happy."

"Good. Good." Shinji takes a sip of his tea and then speaks in a hard tone. "You've been my mistress for a while now. You seem to be pregnant, Louise. This is a bother."

"... what?"

"Have you forgotten to take your potions? Or is it that you think you can get me to come home more often? How tedious. What other women I may have is none of your concern." His voice lowers to a hiss. "I will call for a certain friend of mine, and this problem will be fixed. We will have no more of this foolishness. Do you understand me, Louise?"

Louise blinks. "Are you talking about an abortion? That's... "

"You are boring me now, Louise. Get out."

"No, wait!"

"From the muck I raised you, and to the muck you shall return! You are nothing to me. GET OUT!"

"You can't do this to me!"

Shinji slams his teacup onto the table, shattering it. A spray of hot tea flips in the air, and everyone flinches from it. He smashes the remains onto the floor near Louise's feet. "GET OUT!"

Feeling her heart as a solid mass of fear, her eyes reddening with unshed tears, Louise runs out of the kitchen.

Shinji sits back down, exhausted both emotionally and mentally. He tries to get his breathing back under control. "Maybe I overdid it...?" he asks softly.

Since we were the only living beings left on that bloody planet, roleplaying was the only way to keep ourselves just this side of insane. Our only entertainment was each other. I'm giving it a 9 on the imprometer.

After a long, ponderous silence, Shinji hears applause. Marteau slaps his beefy hand on Shinji's shoulder, his face in tears and little stream of blood leaking out of his nose. "That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen..." he burbles out. "You're amazing, mister Ikari. Just amazing!"

Then suddenly Louise leaps back into the kitchen. She's still blushing, but also in fury as it took going almost halfway down the corridor before she realized she had absolutely no reason to feel so lost and betrayed. Her embarassment is at a fever-pitch. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT JUST NOW?" she screams while brandishing her wand. "You- you perverted familiar! HOW DARE YOU! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?"

Shinji just looks puzzled. "Nothing happened. Please, mistre-"

That word just inflames Louise further. "You- how dare you play with a young girl's feelings! DIE!"

**Kaboom.**

"No magic in the kitchen!" Marteau yells out too late.

.

Shinji holds up a raw steak to his black eye. His voice is back to that faintly whining note that Louise is so familiar with. "At least, now you understand that without a contract, being a mistress offers no legal protection or security... I hope?"

"I don't forgive you."

"I'm sorry." Even if it's not his fault that Louise is conditioned to pant after affection and approval. Maybe it is slightly -my- fault. Shinji, romance me. Shinji, let's role-play. Shinji, that's some weak sauce right there, do some research then come back to serenade me like you're Frank Sinatra. I'm a lady, you know. I want to be seduced with -class-. "But... may we continue this investigation?"

"What else is there to investigate?" Louise huffs. "We already know what happened."

"No, we know that Siesta did leave the castle. We must now gather facts regarding Count Mott's character. Just because it's something endemic in the system, doesn't mean that an informal agreement like that is a good thing." Shinji licks his lips. "Marriage is a social contract, Louise. To be a mistress is to be vulnerable. A maid has legal protection here. To become a mistress, it's too great a risk- inside the privacy of a nobleman's mansion, anything can happen."

Louise shivers and restrains the urge to hit him again. "So? What's your point?"

"That it happened in the span of single morning- that's barely enough to time to get to know her 'patron'. There are two scenarios. Either she is being coerced, or that this Count Mott offered her a reward far in excess of her sense of the risk. What do you think?"

"The second." Louise replies cooly. "A noble is bound by his word, even to a commoner."

"Mmm. A promise is bound by honor, even tighter than a legal document?"

Louise nods. "Only a whore asks for payment in advance." she spits out.

But arranged marriages are still prevalent in Halkegenia and they, noble and commoner alike, practice the exchange of dowries and bride-price. A prenuptial agreement would, like, break their minds? Whatever.

"We need to gather more facts, or at least questionable information. Who should we ask about this...?" Shinji mumbles. "I'd rather not go to the adults and official records... ah." He smiles a bit. "This is gossip. So obviously, there's one person we both know who'd know."

Louise blanches. "If we really have to go to Kirche..."

"No, not her. This is -guy- gossip."

Louise looks up and thinks about Guiche, and his frilly poncy ways, and decides that it's believable that he might know about this.

.

.

They find Guiche at the common room at the bottom floor of the second-year dormitory tower, being hand-fed sandwiches by Montmorency. Aww. Looks like the two made up well. There's nothing like a life-and-death struggle to bring two reluctant hearts closer together.

_As you would know._

S-shut up. Anyway! We just beat their ass down a few days ago, so the two tense up at the approach. "So what's this about, Ikari?" Guiche asks, as they move to sit around a coffee table. Montmorency just stares suspiciously at them, as Shinji had remarked that it was 'lucky' she was there too.

"Tell us everything you know about Count Mott!" Louise opens up.

"... wha?"

"... Guiche isn't a suspect, Mistress." Shinji groans. "There's time to shake someone down for information, but we're not in a high enough place." He gives Guiche an apologetic look. "But, if you please... what do you know?"

"Why do you want to know about the Royal Messenger?" Montmorency asks. She sniffs haughtily. "I'm surprised the Zero doesn't know the elements of the court."

"I make it a point not to gossip about what's none of my business." Louise replies through grit teeth. "At least my family is one that may get an invitation from the palace." she sneers, slamming at Montmorency's meager status and family holdings.

"Better than being a failed mage."

Shinji and Guiche share a pained look. If they don't stop this, the girls could be snipping at each other for hours, building up ill will through the meantime.

"That's enough, Mon-mon." Guiche says soothingly. "Let's just answer the question." He looks up, raising his chin and trying to look... ahahaha, manly and responsible. "So, Count Mott, is it? I actually do know a little about him."

Shinji in turn taps Louise's left forearm with his fingers, and the girl reacts as if burned. She claps her other hand over the point of contact, and blushes faintly. Montmorency's eyes widen, then narrow in speculative interest. "Whatever information you can provide would be appreciated." Shinji continues.

Guiche flicks his rose wand out and puts it to his lips. "To begin with, you must understand that there are three types of nobles. There are those who become nobles through old lineage and the ownership of wide farmland. Valliere and Montmorency, are examples of these landed nobles."

Louise sniffs haughtily here, for Montmorency over time had lost much of their holdings, with barely any more than a single estate. The blonde young noble pointedly ignores it.

"Gramont isn't?" Shinji asks.

"No, but it's nothing to be ashamed of. Among the landless nobles, there are two further types - those who are raised to nobility through distinguishing themselves in military service, and those raised to the station by holding official charges. I am rather proud of being _noblesse militarie, _and Count Mott is _noblesse de robe_." His eyes harden for a moment. "Gramont and Mott don't move in the same circles, and we don't get along."

"How so?"

"While Count Mott may have little more than a mansion and the surrounding land to his name, his position as a Royal Messenger allows him great influence in court." He sighs, licking his lips in nervousness before continuing. "While we Gramont may have a ... reputation ... at least it can be said we have always pursued our conquests fairly. With charm and attention."

"Guiche, remember your promise."

"Yes, yes, my dear Montmorency. I'm just speaking in, uh, general terms, now. Ahem. Count Mott... does not. He has a taste for those who would find it difficult to resist his advances."

"So you're saying he's the type to... force himself... into women's good graces?"

Guiche puts down his flower-stem wand and a strange fire burns in his eyes. "Listen to me, Ikari. While I admit that my family and my... ways... may have caused trouble to some ladies, don't you dare compare a Gramont to a Mott! Someone who forces himself onto a woman is scum! Though there are those who despise the well-earned reputation of the Gramont, never have we taken liberties with a woman without her willing consent! To us, the face of Mott is the face of the enemy!"

"Guiche..." Montmorency looks up at his facial profile with newfound respect.

"I see." Shinji looks to the distance for a moment, and frowns. "I have another question. Do you know how Count Mott perpetuates his influence? As a messenger, he'd have an easy list of important people, but peddling rumors and secrets is unbecoming of a messenger."

A flash of panic crosses Guiche's face. He looks at Louise then Montmorency. "It's somewhat difficult... let's just say that he has acquired many friends through hosting private events and leave it at that."

Louise looks puzzled for a moment, then gasps. Shinji's frown fades to be replaced with a look of serene certainty. "You mean parties, right? Very private parties. Ones that have a very exclusive guest list that many nobles would give almost anything to be included."

"Y-yes."

Now Montmorency gets it. She blushes and fans herself. "You mean, they're o-..." She stops, for a lady of good breeding is not supposed to even think of such things.

I wonder what Guiche would do to be invited to such a shindig? Or is it that the Gramonts oppose it on the principle they're not highly-placed enough to be invited? No, the truth is funnier than that. As a male chauvinist, a self-professed gentleman, he'd rather objectify women in the sense that they're as unto wonderful art, to be appreciated and worshiped, free of flaws that plague his gender. He's afraid of commitment because he has no fucking idea how to deal with women on an equal context.

Shinji laces his fingers together. "One last thing, then. What kind of mage is Count Mott? Dot, Line, Triangle? What element?"

"He's a Line Mage, Water element." Guiche replies.

Shinji smiles a bit, bringing his palms together, with a slight pop, his fingers clenching into a double-handed fist. He takes a deep breath, and relaxes visibly. He stands up and put his hands in his pant pockets, halfways slouching like a hooligan. "Thank you, sir Gramont. It's much appreciated."

Louise blinks, then gets up as well. "That's it? All right, we're done here. Let's go. Oh, and have my thanks too, Guiche."

Guiche smirks. "No problem." He raises his rose wand to his nose and says "Hey, Ikari-."

Shinji looks back. "Hm?"

"Whatever it is you're up to... good luck."

As the Shinji and Louise leave, walking side by side, Montmorency remarks "Those two have a an interesting dynamic going on, don't you think?"

Guiche shrugs. "Strange, but it's none of our business. I'd rather not get involved in any of it, looks like they're up to something far too bothersome."

Montmorency nods.

.

.

Shinji leans aganst the outside wall of the dormitory tower, all but slamming his back into the stone, and sighs heavily.

"Are you angry?" Louise asks.

"No." he lies. Angry doesn't even begin to describe what he's feeling. It's like there's a hollow pit inside of him, of infinite depth and it's expanding, wanting devour everything.

Shinji rubs at his eyes with his palm and grimaces. "Dammit." he grinds out. "I didn't want to be right..." He turns aside to look at Louise with red-rimmed eyes full of regret. "Louise. This investigation is over."

Louise looks down, unwilling to meet his eyes. She kicks at the green grass a bit. She's still an innocent in so many things, but she can compare Kirche, who might like being passed around like cheap wine, to Siesta, who has no obvious signals that she wants to be a whore. "I guess so." she replies softly. "It's the second scenario. Coercion."

A noble's behaving badly. Louise didn't want to believe it, but even she realizes that it's impossible for every noble to be as virtuous and honorable as her own parents. It's somewhat of a shock to her that a noble would use such vulgar means to advance his own interests.

"Louise... I'm really grateful that I'm with you. I'm sorry, I don't want to be a burden... but..."

Louise grins lopsidedly for a moment. "Don't bother. I already know what you want to ask. It's not problem. Mott may be a Royal Messenger, but my father is a Duke. Don't underestimate the name of Valliere! I'm sure that we can get this resolved."

"I'm sorry, but... that's not going to be enough. We need to get miss Siesta back today, before he has a chance to touch her."

Louise's heartrate speeds up. She was afraid he'd say that, but strangely is feeling relieved at hearing it. Summoning her courage, she asks "It's not like I don't have sympathy, but why do you want to save that maid so much? Do you l-like her or something?"

Thinking back, just the memory of those words... 'Louise! **You **are _**-mine-!**_' still sends a crackling tingle up her spine.

"Yes."

"Oh." She hadn't expected him to reply that bluntly. "I guess... it's understandable. You're both co-commoners after all." A part of her pipes up that Shinji could easily be a noble, if only he hasn't been raised under a forbidding law against nobility. Aah! That maid! That maid and her breasts. Ugh, of course- she has to admit, even her familiar is still a man.

"She's my friend, Louise. I don't... didn't have -any- friends. I have you, but miss Siesta..."

he thinks briefly of her friendly smile, twisting into a tearful expression of fear and pain, and the stone behind him crumbles under his fingers. "...she's the closest thing to family I have out here."

She looks up at the familiar desolation in his tone. "Family?"

"I didn't tell you this before? Her grandfather is from my homeland, brought over here from some sort of magical accident."

Louise frowns at him, still slouching there. "That's rather convenient, don't you think? Are you sure?"

"Fate. Destiny. It doesn't matter." He looks up and smiles sadly. "I'm the chosen of Sohryu, of course I'd recognize the blood of those bound to serve me."

Truthfully, it is too convenient that Siesta's part-Japanese and that she's exactly what we needed to attach ourselves to the lower classes. And that she's in trouble again. This damsel in distress routine may get tiresome, we need to fix it and make sure we don't get pulled into a repetitive rut. If Louise gets kidnapped, of course Shinji would pull a Mario too, but we'd have the apparatus of noble privilege to help track her down. So maybe Sam Spade or Sam Fisher instead?

"So you feel obligated to help her?" Louise asks hopefully.

"I don't... I don't know what I feel, Mistress Louise." Shinji whispers. "I don't belive... I'm not sure if love really exists anymore. I look at you, and I want to hold you, and protect you from anything that might make you cry. I want to burn this world of anything that may harm you. Miss Siesta... she doesn't ask anything from me, doesn't need anything from me, for her to be happy. Just having her around gives me peace."

"You- you idiot! You're calling me a child, you know! I refuse to be coddled like that." This is too insulting! He's calling her weak. And... he's right to call her weak, this she moans inside. It's what she calls herself, after all. A part of her wants to give up and just let herself be held, shielded from the world, and wonders- the sacred rite to call a familiar, is this what she really wanted? She begged for the most powerful, most beautiful, most holy familiar - but the heavens read her heart and its weakness and gave it what it really desired.

"I don't know what I'm saying..." Shinji pushes off the wall with his elbows. "I don't know anything." He takes his hands out of his pockets and clenches them into fists. "But... I have to do something. Anything."

Shinji places his hand on her shoulders, and Louise looks up at his face, focusing on his lips. "I won't run away again, Louise. It's better if I'm the one who gets hurt. I have to save my friends. Please, Louise..."

"F-fine. It's not like I'm i-insensitive or anything. Just as long as you don't start crying again. That's too p-pathetic." Hell yeah, I know, right? It's like he has no emotional barriers at all. He experiences everything too intensely. Personally, being emotionally neutered isn't a sign of manliness to me - a man must rage, must weep, must strive for his dreams with all power and vigor!

"Louise, you're a good person. You're strong. Together, we can do anything." He bows his head and begins to chuckle.

"What's so funny now?"

"Nothing, my cute little mistress." Shinji whispers. "It's just... this is now a rescue mission. Now, for you and I, restraint is no longer a good thing."

"Hey, now don't get too carried awa- mhf!"

Shinji unthinkly pulls her close, to press their foreheads together. Their noses are almost touching. Shinji is just too flipping happy. "Ah, Louise..." he whispers from the back of his throat. "We will -crush- that bastard."

He pulls away, not seeing Louise's stunned flushed face. "But even so we'll need reinforcements for this, I think!" he continues cheerily.

_'These mood swings!' _Louise grumbles inside. _'It's like dealing with... a pregnant woman? How crazy. Trying to oppose a court noble. This is crazy.' _And yet, it's exciting anyway. At least he's up front and open about it, instead of running off like a moron to try and solve it on his own. It may not be her own goal, but it still a good feeling to be moving along to a purpose.

Well, technically, since he's holding our daughter's aborted soul in him, it's dealing with a pregnant man.

.

.

Louise has to hurry a bit to keep up with Shinji's determined pace, even if since he's only slightly taller than her they have the same stride length. "This is the way to the library... so, we're going after Tabitha? Why her?"

"Transportation." he replies. "Wherever Count Mott's residence is, we'll get there faster on dragonback than by horse."

_That makes sense, _Louise thinks. She decides to continue just letting Shinji take the lead like this, and see what sort of rescue plan he's got in mind. "You're going to just borrow her familiar? What makes you think she'll let you?"

"Miss Tabitha of course wouldn't trust us with her dragon, she'll just have to come with us."

"You're imposing on her so far. Why are you so confident she'll help?"

Shinji scratches at the side of his cheek. "Miss Tabitha's in the library instead of making conversation with her friends or working on improving her own skills. I once knew someone very much like her. She knows her purpose in life. Everything else is... irrelevant."

"She's a stuck-up, that's what she is." Louise mumbles.

"If in the sense she thinks herself better than her classmates... probably." Shinji shrugs. "You know she's Triangle class already, right? Even I can tell she'll probably win against some of the teachers here."

"Ugh. That doesn't explain why she'd even bother."

"You could just ask her, when she refuses or agrees. It's not guaranteed that she will oblige, of course."

As expected, Tabitha is there in the library, behind several stacks of books. On either side, then the to-read and the have-read heaps, while in front of her another pile is arranged by subject the books she plans to read today. Like a fortress, walling her off from other people. She's organized like that. It's unrealistic for one person to read that much during one day, and the fools that walk in and see her book piles can only wonder at such superhuman attention. She decides ahead of time what she wants to read, and through the week the pile on her left gets smaller and smaller.

No one dares sit nearby. Tabitha's pleased by this desolate isolation. She's not out to bother anyone, and the least decency she expects from anyone is not to be bothered in turn.

As Shinji and Louise sit on the opposite side of the table, facing her directly, she doesn't even look up.

"Miss Tabitha, we apologize for the intrusion, but we have a strange favor to ask of you."

Tabitha turns a page, refusing to acknowledge their existence, but -

"Yo-ho!" Kirche slides into the seat on Tabitha's right, and wrapping her arms around the smaller girl's shoulders. Their heads touch, and Kirche stares across the table with her perspective tilted slightly. "What's going on over here?"

Tabitha just sighs and closes her book. Her concentration is lost. Trying to go on would just be futile, their voices and faces would leak into her visualization of the characters.

"I don't see why we have to bring Kirche into this." Louise hisses.

"Umm. I think Miss Kirche already knows a good part of what's going on." Shinji replies, and Kirche grins at him as their eyes meet. "To see and hear out of a familiar's eyes and ears... and obviously a salamander's senses would be more sensitive than a humans."

Kirche nods. Flame still doesn't like Shinji for some reason, and watching from a distance is just convenient. Looking at him, Kirche can't decide if how much of her wariness comes from her familiar's own unthinking terror, or measuring just how much pain this boy may bring to her dear friend.

She pushes all that down, and puts a wide careless smile on her face. "Somethings got you little lovebirds in a tizzy, and now it looks like you want to pull my little Tabitha into it. What a mystery it is! Ooh! Tell me! Tell me!"

"The investigation is over." Louise replies flatly. "There is no mystery."

"There's always a mystery. Life wouldn't be worth living without them." Kirche replies impishly. "The flame of passion brings both new light and new shadows."

Shinji's eyes go blank, processing how this new development may be used. It's an expression that Kirche sees often from Tabitha's face. It's someone going through life as if always destined to be late, treating their own bodies like a puppet.

Shinji blinks. "More help would be good." he says to Louise. "There's really no reason to keep this from Miss von Zebst."

"But what if I don't want to?"

"Then... she has to leave. But I think-" with a glance towards Kirche as an apology in advance "...she'll just end up bugging Miss Tabitha for information later, which may impact her willingness to agree to our request now."

"Accurate." Tabitha replies.

"Oh, fine." Louise huffs. "You go and explain it."

And so Shinji explains about what they'd found out and the rescue mission he wants to pursue.

Kirche claps excitedly. "A wild dash to rescue a lost love, how romantic!" Then she frowns. "But now all three slots are taken. Hmm. A quattramore, is both simpler and more complicated, since two couples can pair off to keep from being bored while resting, and a man has only three useful... appendages... to speak of, anyway."

Louise doesn't get it. Kirche pouts, her fun ruined again.

Shinji groans and palms his face. "It's not like that."

"Plan?" Tabitha asks.

"Oh. Um... the simplest would be to go in, grab her, and bring Miss Siesta back to this castle before Count Mott has a chance to do anything. Then we can go back discuss reparations, because he'd have to risk causing a fuss with the Academy."

"Simplest." Tabitha agrees. "Most risky."

"That's true. Making someone angry prior to negotiations would have Count Mott want to avenge the 'insult'." Shinji makes a helpless gesture. "Or he could just demand more in redress."

Kirche smirks and crosses her arms, emphasizing her chest. "He's just a man. It's easy. I'm sure we can give him something he'll like."

"No." Shinji replies emphatically. "Sorry if I'm being too impudent, but I refuse to save a woman from his clutches only to put another one in."

"Not justice." Tabitha adds. "Contingency?"

"Um, well, I'd prefer a non-violent solution..."

Tabitha shakes her head. "I refuse. No dragon for you."

"Tabitha!" Kirche gasps. "You're not going to help? I suppose it's your right, but it's too thin an excuse. Those books can't be that exciting over going into action again."

She points lightly at Louise. "No sense of justice. No point." Tabitha is confident in her own power, and to be used as little more than an air taxi is a useless bother. It's overkill for the situation, for seeking only a peaceful resolution doesn't require the smash-and-grab or rapid evac that her dragon can provide.

The familiar reflects the mage. If Shinji's deliberately neutering his power to conform to Louise's limits, then Tabitha's interest in their upcoming battle is already starting to wane.

Louise rises to take it as an insult, slamming her palms on the table. "What do you mean I have no sense of justice!" The other readers in that library look up at her shout, and then hurriedly go back to minding their own business. It would be rather cliche for a librarian to come around to shush these unruly children, right?

"Louise, please. Calm down."

"No, I've had it with this arrogant blockhead! How dare you look down on everybody just because they're not as good as you with magic! What would you do without commoners to farm and produce what we need to live and the nobility to rule and defend the peace of the land? We're all part of something greater, and to preserve that good and holy balance is **Justice**!" she all but roars out. "Those who raise themselves too high on their own pride just get to die alone!"

"Peace is a lie." Tabitha replies. Louise is way off-target in her accusations, and the blue-haired girl has a grievance to match against the sacrifice for social stability.

"There is only passion!" Kirche speaks up quickly after her.

"Okay, stop. Everyone please, just... stop." Shinji groans. Neither Louise or Tabitha know about each other's real circumstances and judge each other by their own assumptions. He wishes he could say something inspiring about the power of kindness, but he doesn't believe that either. He can't tell them they're both wrong because they're both strong-willed yet deeply vulnerable teenage girls and that's like his kryptonite.

A prim middle-aged woman with her graying hair in a bun approaches to chide the group for the disturbance. Suddenly she feels as if Death itself poked its bony finger into her heart, and abruptly turns around. She hurriedly walks away, already beginning to justify to herself that it's none of her business.

"Um... while I'd prefer a non-violent solution, it's also good sense to prepare for a... confrontation?" Shinji whispers. "That's why the speed of Miss Tabitha's dragon is useful. If something troublesome were to happen, what's the most important thing for us?"

Louise exhales roughly, her emotion already relieved by her tirade. "Speed? To get away in time?" But Count Mott is the Royal Messenger. They can't outrun the long arm of the law. _'Oh angels in heaven- !'_ Louise pales at the thought it's her mother that may be ordered to go after them! Karin would not tolerate such a blatant offense to the rule of nobility.

For while Count Mott's behavior might be reprehensible and immoral, it's not exactly _illegal_.

"An alibi?" Kirche says.

Shinji gives her a thumbs-up in approval. "Ten points."

She grins back. "Do I get something nice when I reach a hundred?"

Shinji considers it. "Sure, why not?"

Kirche doesn't ask what, because it's more fun to leave it a mystery. "How many points has Louise earned?"

"Um..." Zero, because he'd only started counting for it. Oh, she did process the investigation earlier, even if she near had to be walked through it. "Twenty."

Louise groans and lowers her forehead to the table. "Why are you all so carefree? I'm surrounded by lunatics."

.

.

Miss Longueville is having tea with Mister Colbert out in a secluded veranda. The baldy one is trying to repress his giddiness about how intimate this appears. The secretary just agreed so that fewer people see them together, not like the faculty dining area in the Alviss Hall, as she pumps him for information. It turns out that Colbert and Osmond are old buddies, despite the age difference and how little respect the teacher seems to get.

"Value really is a tricky thing, isn't it?" Colbert talks on, though not really anymore to try and impress her with his knowledge. It's not like he has any charms or wealth. "Do we value gold simply because it is difficult to obtain? What about art? Increasing in value once the artist dies, and the older it is... so we value something that is rare. But what about two objects that are equally rare?"

"It doesn't matter the price." Longueville replies dryly. That Colbert is so easily distracted by such a simple scholarly tangent, is something to of an insult. A pretty woman such as herself should occupy his attention all the time, but in this case it's a relief. She decides to deal with him on his own level. "The one that has some useful purpose is easier to sell. There's no one standard of value, it depends on both the buyer and the seller. It's easier if you look at it from the perspective of someone who buys in hope of resale later."

"Like the difference between a sword and bowl? Or maybe, a horse and set of fine clothes." Colbert still looks lost in thought. "The reusable, more portable pieces would obviously be easier to sell. So there's a difference between valuable and being of practical value."

"Look, this discussion of value has been... interesting... but I'll change the question. What's the most dangerous thing in there?"

"Uh... why do you ask?"

Smoothly the secretary replies "I have to go in there every week now. While I'm going to be careful, I'd rather not accidentally touch something and cause something horrible to happen. It's bad enough with -that- weird relic." She adjusts her glasses and asks pointedly "Do you think it would be the most dangerous thing now?"

"I'm not sure..." Colbert replies, while rubbing at his head. "It's one thing to have the ability to cause harm, but it's another thing to -easily- cause harm. The skull isn't that dangerous, if its powers have conditions to be released. So what would be most dangerous, the thing that could harm anyone, anytime, without fail. A few years back, I could have easily told you what it is."

"And that would be...?"

"The cursed golden apples of Iliuum."

Longueville frowns. "... isn't that a legend? A town in Germania that burned down?"

"Yes, the legend goes that there grew an apple tree which bears golden fruit. There is nothing unusual in itself about the apples, they just have a skin that shines like gold, instead of red like normal apples. But for some reason, all those who see it are struck by intense jealousy and the desire to possess it. The tales say it was planted by a witch, and she caused discord and misery by leaving harmless golden apples at random. Marriages and families were broken, and even small wars broke out. Eventually the church caught and executed the witch, and the tree was chopped down them burned. But no one could bear to destroy the apples that remained."

"And somehow Old Osmond got the apples?"

"He beat up everyone fighting to claim the apples. The apples were charmed with a stasis spell, and sealed in a strong box, and then he locked them up in the Vault. It was enough to -know- that he had them. Eventually people forgot, and it turned into just another legend."

Miss Longueville's interest is very much stoked. The sheer effortless chaos that could bring. No wonder the Church forbids any magic that tries to muddle the mind. "So, what happened to them?"

"Um... a few years back, me and Old Osmond got really drunk... and we ate them."

The secretary arches her brow. "Seriously?"

"Yes. Maybe we were too drunk to be affected."

"And that's it? Did anything happen after eating them?"

"... no. I mean, they were just apples. Kind of sour, even."

Miss Longueville groans and rubs at her forehead. Idiots. Why do they have to keep on living down to her already vastly reduced expectations? "What do you think would be the second most dangerous thing, then?"

Colbert ponders for a while. "Overall... it would be the Staff of Destruction, by what Old Osmond tells about it. It could slay a dragon in one hit. Improperly used, it could be devastating."

The secretary smiles thinly. Easy to use, dangerous, and not too difficult to carry away. That's -very- valuable.

But before she can say anything else, who should arrive- but our intrepid quartet! Shinji and Louise, Tabith and Kirche, they ask for a moment of her time. It's the perfect excuse that Miss Longueville needs to dump off Colbert.

"You want me to retrieve your relic ahead of schedule?" she asks them once they're all some distance away and safe from being overheard. "Why don't you just ask Old Osmond for permission?"

"Um... I have a feeling he won't like how it's going to be used." Shinji replies. He doesn't explain any further.

"I... see. And what makes you think I'd like to be part of this breaking of the rules?"

"Curiosity?" Shinji shrugs. "Nothing really. At the least, this is fair warning so that you don't get implicated if I end up having to break into the vault."

"... what?" Louise reaches up and pulls on Shinji's ears again. "Are you mad?"

"Ow! Ow! Mistress, please. It's not like it's particularly difficult. Why do you think I gave up Sohryu so easily? It would be stupid not to have the power to defend you if things go hugely wrong."

"Wrong? Breaking into the Academy Vault is a -_**crime**_-. That's wrong!"

"Um... technically... as long as I don't actually break -into- it, just retrieve my own property, it isn't."

Miss Longueville just looks on, amused. Louise begins to tug even harder on Shinji's ears while muttering _'elf ears, elf ears, show your badness to the world!' _

"Is this wise?" Tabitha asks.

No, of course not. But then -we- know of Miss Longueville's hidden history. It's just too obvious if you pay attention to the signs. Even Shinji's not that dense. But in the end, he doesn't really give a damn about justice, too. The rule of law in this place can go fuck itself. He has someone to save.

"I'm standing right here, you know." the secretary states. "I can hear your plans to burgle my employer." The smirk on her face is less from being amused by their youthful idiocy but the sheer irony of it. This is absurdly lucky.

"Um, think about it. What does it benefit you, Miss Longueville, to tell Old Osmond about this? He'd just be delighted with how you seem to be taking his interests at heart and think you're cooling down to his attentions. He might get even more... frisky." He pauses for a second. "Or you could hope he's going to be grateful enough to act like a decent person and stop his harassment of you from now on."

Mis Longueville grimaces. "No... the old fool's just going to take it as a sign to take even more liberties." She stares down at Shinji with renewed curiosity. "You're right, it doesn't benefit me at all to report you."

Louise lets go of Shinji's much-abused ears. "Really? Does that mean...?"

"I won't help you get into the vault. Old Osmond keeps the keys, and I don't have any excuse to enter the vault myself. But, if you children think you can get something out of the vault, then I won't stop you." Looking speculatively at Shinji, she adds "I assume what you want is for me to provide an alibi that it's never left the Vault at all, correct? I'll be 'giving it back' to you at the end of the week."

"That's right. I'd very much appreciate it, please."

"I don't see why I should bother, though. It doesn't benefit me to help you lot, either." Before they can speak about their measly little pleas or bribes or whatever, she waves dimissively. "How about this? Prove yourself. If you do manage to get it out of the vault without anyone the wiser, I won't raise a fuss. I'll cooperate if you reveal to me the full extent of just what that relic can do. I'll admit- I am curious enough to let you make your own mess, as long as it's far and away none of my business."

"Oh. Of course. Thank you very much. I promise I'll repay this favor well someday." Shinji bows deeply at Miss Longueville, then looks aside to the rest of the motley crew. "... I guess now we have to set up the alibi for our alibi?"

.

.

Guiche is walking towards the dormitory, having managed to pry himself loose from Montmorency. He sighs tiredly. While it's nice to have such loving attention, it's also stifling. He doesn't really have any male friends, so he's both desperately in need of some 'me' time but not knowing what else to do except to flirt around.

As he passes by a washroom, the door suddenly open. "Mhf-!" He feels a hand over his mouth and an arm around his neck, and he's pulled into the dark doorway. It closes without a sound, due to the silence spell that Tabitha cast.

This is totally unnecessary. But the girl insisted. What's a conspiracy without a little kidnapping and forced labor?

.

.

Getting up to the level in the center tower where the vault is without attracting suspicion proves to be simpler than expected. It's the same floor as the Headmaster's office anyway. With Miss Longueville leading a small pack of students, it looks as if they're being sent up to be scolded.

This is the Tristain Academy Vault. It's secured with some sort of stasis and reinforcement magic that looks as if it's fixed in time, giving mere stone and metal the apperance of invulnerability. Square-class Magic sure is an interesting thing, doesn't it? Earth and time, usually don't have much to do with each other. Even the mountains will end, even the world will die. The fire of the sun, even that will go out.

They call it magic and believe in forever. Morons.

Shinji. Show them the power that stands outside of time.

He stands in front of the massive metal vault door, tapping the riveted mass. "It certainly looks impregnable, doens't it?" he murmurs. "No form of magical or physical attack can breach this reinforcement."

Miss Longueville smirks. "And you were so sure it would be so easy." If even her magic would fail to break through it, and she's very specialized at pulling apart magical protections, then no one else would be able to do it. "If you're done wasting my time?"

Shinji looks back to meet her smirk with his own sad smile. "You walked with us this far... because you already had an idea of how I might be able to do it, right? You're a very smart woman, Miss Longueville."

Louise twitches. _'What's this? Is he trying to put the moves on the secretary now?' _"Hey, stop fl-... uh, get on with it!"

Shinji nods. "Magic is magic. Sohryu is a dead goddess of a distant land. Their powers... don't mix." He turns towards the door and raises his right hand. "To Sohryu, this enchanted door... is little more than a slab of ordinary metal." He takes a deep breath, and throws out his will.

The spot facing Shinji's palm starts to glow red-hot. The inflexible magic tries to hold on, but the dead goddess' Sohryu's defined powerset is to mess with the four fundamental forces. The metal begins to thin out, the glow turning bright white, and then the metal drips in hissing rivulets like hot wax. Through the hot hissing mist, something round and white floats out to slap against Shinji's waiting palm.

Shinji turns aside and gives a sickly grin. "Behold. _**Sohryu**._"

Hello there, all you little people.

Guiche blanches. His battle against Shinji comes to mind, and he was lucky to get out of it so well. It made sense, something that can defeat Square-class Earth magic should not be troubled at all by a Dot mage.

The metal door cools down almost immediately, the ragged hole in it far too damn obvious. Miss Longueville adjust her glasses and shakes her head disapprovingly. "This just presents an even bigger problem."

"Sohryu's power is not magic." Shinji insists again. "Still, she allows me to perform certain abilities that may be called here as Triangle-class Earth, Fire, Wind, or Water." He points the skull at the hull, and it looks as if time is rewinding itself with the molten metal flowing back up. "Transfiguration is so awe-inspiring where I come from, but here it's just so... mundane."

The door is now unblemished. There's nothing but the memories of those who saw the weirdness happen to say otherwise. It's in no way mundane, but no one seems willing to tell Shinji that. He just looks so pleased at being... no longer so unique?

Kirche whistles appreciatively. "I'm impressed. I understand now why Tabitha's so interested."

Tabitha nods, she's really looking forward to being able to battle all four elements at once, and Kirche gets completely the wrong idea about it.

"Fascinating." Miss Longueville murmurs. She taps at the door with her wand, sending out a small pulse of magic to scan its protections. "It's as well-protected as before." she lies so assuredly.

Louise just seems shaken. She grimaces and looks down. "I don't get it...!" she whispers, her stance stiff and her fists clenched. "I don't get you people!"

Uh-oh. Did she crack from being shown up by her own familiar -_yet again?-_

"Am I the only sane one here?" Louise brings her fists close to her chest as if grabbing some sort of lifeline. "I agreed to this in the first place because it's the right thing to do... but you're all so casual about breaking rule after rule. It's getting too complicated. I don't understand... breaking into a vault, conspiring against a Royal Messenger... it's not supposed to be fun!"

"Are you afraid?" Kirche asks. "If it's just that, we can keep you out of it, so it won't affect you."

"It has nothing to do with fear, you red-haired cow!" Louise spurts out. "Why... what's wrong with all of you? Be serious! There's no difference between Mott and us, if we're so willing to flaunt the rules if it can be done. Going so far, if it's not for that maid... you're just indulging yourself!"

_'Maid? What maid?' _Miss Longueville catches, then dismisses that thought as unimportant.

"Louise..." Shinji whispers sadly. Louise is lashing out again, and he tilts my skull side to side as a warning to the others. Let her do this. Let her burn away her jealousy until she sees it for what it is.

"It's not... I'm not afraid. I want to do this. I want to _help_."

But what is she supposed to do? She's redundant, she realizes. Even Guiche as a dot mage has a use in being there. They've turned her episode of altruism into a comical escapade. But of them, only Shinji really has any sympathy for the victim. The two of them... they're the only ones that are -_necessary_-, that's what Louise concludes. The others aren't doing it to fix an injustice.

With her familiar who had sworn to stay by her side, that's all. Any more just cheapens the virtue. Any more... and it's like her decisions don't matter at all.

"I'm sorry. It does seem like we're not treating this mission with due seriousness. We're supposed to be doing it for someone else, and we're all in danger if something goes wrong." Shinji says softly. Right there the difference between Louise, who has never faced danger, and everyone else (except Guiche) that have confidence in their own ability to overcome. "But... we have to look forward to the challenges ahead."

"Why...?"

Because human -_suck_- at risk assessment? Because we have gathered a dynamic group of pink, white, blue, red, and green-themed people and all we lack now is a colorful explosion behind them as they pose?

"Because... Louise... it's an adventure, Louise!" Shinji holds my skull in the curl of his right elbow, while bending down and reaching out with his left hand. "Won't you go on an adventure with -**us**-?"

She sees his open palm and looks up. Past his arm, she sees Kirche wearing a not-unfriendly smirk. Tabitha's gaze is bland as ever, but there's a hint of impatience. Guiche is palming his face, his posture bemoaning _'what the hell am I doing here?' _but unwilling to leave. Miss Longueville's guarded expression shows she's content to observe. Back to Shinji, and his gentle, expectant smile.

"... Louise?" You don't have to be alone; Shinji tries to communicate with this whole damn plan. This little girl is a blank slate, a zero state, and is the mirror that defines his existence. If she has friends, then he can have them too.

It's really almost pathetic how her face starts to light up. "Un!" she exclaims with a nod. She reaches for his hand, and he tugs her closer. Her lips break into a ferocious grin.

The group now turns to leave, and Louise feels strange as she moves in step with them. Light-headed, warm, she doesn't notice anymore how she's walking hand in hand with a young man. How so bold, Louise. How improper, Louise.

Her little fingers grip his own frail-looking hand so tightly. That minute pain as she inattentively tries to crush his fingers- she has no idea how much she's making Shinji so happy, that attention-starved idiot too. They so desperately need to be needed. Hand-in-hand, they're pulling each other from the brink of insanity.

.

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* * *

So: Mott. I'm going to pick and mix light novel, anime, and manga canon; whichever looks like it might end up being funnier or more awesome at the time. ;)


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